Letters to Myself

“Sir, more than kisses, letters mingle souls; for, thus friends absent speak.” ~John Donne


When I first moved to the States - and hardly knew anyone - I lived to see the mailman’s truck pull up, everyday. I waited by the window with the same eagerness of a child on Christmas Eve, and through the daily deliveries of a skinny Santa dressed in blue I felt a little less alone. Although I was excited at the prospect of starting a new life away from home, I was only nineteen, and I missed my friends and family - through letters, their love and support hugged me like a pair of old familiar arms.

As time went by, the phone calls continued daily, but the letters soon became a thing of the past. I slowly lost touch with several friends, and as phone rates became more affordable, the conversations with my family gradually shifted to a spoken exchange rather than a written one. I still have all the letters, and read them again from time to time.

Yesterday, as I was telling a friend how happy I am about the upcoming publication of my books, she suggested I hang on to some of that happiness. She went on to explain that since she was a little girl, she always wrote notes to her future self, and then saved them for a later time when she would need to hear comforting words.

If she was very happy, she told me, she would write a note in which she shared her good news, and encouraged herself to relive the exhilaration of that happy moment. If, later on, she read the note at a time when she felt a bit low on herself, she could reconnect to what had happened in the past and feel better.

Similarly, if she was very angry or sad, she would write her future self a letter about what upset her. Reading it later, after the storm had passed, showed her that all things are temporary, and are rarely as bad as we think they are while we are going through them.

I found her suggestion totally fascinating. I have written letters to others I wanted to share feelings with before, but I’ve never written anything to myself. How fun would it be now, if I could read letters written during the time when I struggled to adjust to a new way of life, or I got frustrated because of the challenges of speaking a new language? And what about those moments when I felt I could just scream out of sheer happiness, such as when I found out I was going to be a mom, or when my husband proposed?

I wish I could read those letters now. It would certainly be fun to compare my life today to something written so long ago, and it would certainly be encouraging to see that obstacles which appeared at the time as solid bricks on my path were nothing more than removable Legos.

It’s obviously too late to recapture those moments from long ago and put them down on paper right now, but it is definitely possible to begin doing so with my life’s latest happenings. In fact, I think I will start today.

Fighting Fire With Fire

“We must not allow ourselves to become like the system we oppose.”~ Bishop Desmond Tutu

If you’ve ever run into someone that makes you angry or scared enough to retaliate, you are certainly not alone. On any given day, most of us are faced with situations and people that test our resolve to be peaceful, and taunt us to show our worst.

I’ve always found it really funny that even in cartoons humans are often depicted as having an angel and a devil near them, each sitting on respective shoulders, forever fighting for predominance - if the little devil wins, the person gives in to lower instincts and fights back; if the little angel has the last word, a peaceful solution is attained.

Good and evil coexist within all of us, regardless of the fact that many try to convince themselves they are only ruled by one side or the other – each of us is capable of killing, stealing, lying, and betraying, and all of us are able to love, tolerate and forgive. Whether one person will decide to follow one path or another usually depends on the combined influence of nature and nurture. One path is chosen, while the other remains dormant until the next decision around the bend.

Because of the fact that at any junction everyone is able to uniquely choose, it is possible for a good person to commit bad deeds, and for a bad person to make “good” choices. Because of the dual nature of all things, everything in the Universe can be changed if repeatedly exposed with reason to the opposing current.

But who’s truly “bad” or “good”? What we have been taught to consider bad may not appear as such to someone who’s been taught a different reality, or has come to believe differently in accordance to personal experiences.

No person ever consciously believes they are “bad” or wrong – if they did, they would change their ways. If someone considers another person to be acting wrong, and reacts to them in the very same fashion they condemn, they have done nothing else but fortify their opponent.

Each of us can be steered both ways – if we truly wish to change something or someone, we need to try heading our boat in the opposite direction and hope they will follow. If they don’t, we must accept that some situations, and the fate of some people, are out of our control. We can’t force others to see through our perception. All we can do is follow our own path and be concerned with our own destiny, taking charge of the decisions that affect us directly while still keeping in mind that we are not necessarily right just because we believe we are. Perception doesn’t always reflect reality, but only shows one of the many facets of it.

We can dispel shadows by turning on the light. Hanging in the dark with the people we are trying to change will only cause both of us to blindly run into each other and ultimately get hurt. We shouldn’t become what we are fighting against.

A Taste of the Spiritual Unknown

A few weeks ago, someone asked me the difference between what I had learned in Catholic school and what was taught to me by my mother and grandmothers – all involved in spiritual paths of their own.

My answer was a simple one – none. All the paths I have had the chance to personally practice have taught me that love is the gateway to a higher consciousness. Names and interpretations change, but the core teachings are fundamentally the same.

Sadly, Hollywood film makers and overzealous writers with no direct knowledge have made sure that what wasn’t already a misconception has become one. The differences among belief systems have been exploited to the point that the similarities have been overshadowed and forgotten.

Drawing from the well I’m most familiar with, I would like to explain some of the principals of Voodoo (also known as Voudoun, depending on the region), to make my point. Voodoo practitioners believe in one Creator (God). The closest essence of Spirit to God is Obatala, known for his preference of all things pure and associated to the vibrations of Jesus. Below them are the Orishas (saints), God’s helpers who lived on Earth prior to their celestial appointment.

The practice of the religion is not to be confused with Hoodoo, the “magical” practice which is sister to Voodoo. Orishas are revered on specific days of the week, usually corresponding to their elemental strength, and are petitioned to bring one’s wishes to the creator.

Although some practitioners do exploit the religion and its practice by performing ludicrous “tricks”, true practitioners work very closely with Universal laws. Deeper knowledge rarely comes without the wisdom to use it, and those who act selfishly are most often charlatans without scruples who achieve few, if any, results. Associating those low practitioners with the lot is no different than associating Jim and Tammy Baker to Christianity. A greedy low-life is going to be just that, regardless of the creed.

Compared to Christianity, Voodoo is a “hands-on” system of belief, but it still manifests itself through prayer. A candle lit for someone’s healing has the same purpose of reciting a prayer. The only difference is that the practitioner is using more senses to pray. Even the infamous voodoo dolls – the public face of Voodoo – are widely used for healing, and merely represent the person the healing energy is sent to.

The difference between Catholicism and Voodoo is the same as one child telling a story and one drawing a picture about it. Once the wish is released to God, it is understood that there may be different plans at work for that person that go beyond human will, and that knowledge is accepted and respected.

As a lady once told me, there is only one vision, and many paths to get there. What counts is the final destination.