The Smooth Seashells

“Constant dripping hollows out a stone.” ~ Lucretius


While I was cooking dinner last night, my daughter brought in the kitchen a small bag of seashells we found at the beach the past summer. She emptied the sack on the table and lined up the shells, largest to smallest. When I looked at the display, I noticed she had three large shells and several smaller ones, but while the little shells were mostly intact and still quite sharp at the edges, the larger shells were smooth and worn out, some of them missing parts.

I asked my daughter her opinion as to why the bigger shells were either broken or smooth at the edges, and her reply was instantaneous – the larger ones were thrown around with more force by the waves. Intrigued by her reply, I asked her why the waves would be harder on the larger shells, and her response to this question was that when something is small the wave takes it away, while “big things” stay where they are and the waves crash against them. That said, something else caught her attention and she left the kitchen. Of course, she also left me with a little food for thought.

Was she correct? Did the big shells get damaged more because they resisted the waves? Maybe, going along with the random and brilliant thinking trail only children can follow, Morgan had hit on something real.

To test her theory, I went into the backyard to the little stream that runs behind our house and looked at the rocks on the bed – the small ones had sharp edges, while the larger ones were smooth and hollow in spots where the water constantly trickles.

The rocks small enough to move with the water during a storm were only scattered around and not damaged, while the larger ones – too heavy to be moved but by a great volume of water – rested in place and could not escape the damage.

When we move with the flow, although we might feel scattered to the four winds and unable to maintain a steady ground, we are likely to come out of the storm unscathed – flexibility allows us to come through in one piece. On the contrary, when we are too stubborn to move, and we stand our ground even when the current pushes against us, we cannot avoid coming out of the storm with at least some visible damage.

Structures and mindsets that don’t allow room for change are doomed to fail, and it will be only a matter of time before even an apparently harmless trickle of opposing energy will carve a hole in their foundations.

I went back inside and carried a couple of those rocks with me to show my daughter, but mostly to remind myself that fluid thinking and wave-riding can be priceless tools we can’t afford to walk into the future without.

The water Around the Rocks

“Be the water, not the rock. Water has the flexibility to change direction; a rock stays in one place and gets worn out.” - Japanese saying


The home I am currently living in has a small creek running at the edge of my yard – after a good rain or at night, when diurnal sounds begin to wane, I can open my windows and feel as if I am living near a water fall.

Aside from the delightful, relaxing sound and the explosion of life water always seems to have near, the stream has provided the opportunity for me to sit and observe; to watch and learn; to understand how nature correlates to daily life.

Yesterday afternoon I went out back to pick a few tomatoes for dinner, and since it was still quite early I went to sit on the bench by the water. Because it hasn’t rained much the past couple of days, the flow wasn’t impressive but it was nevertheless constant. None of the rocks resting at the bottom had been disturbed by the gentle trickle and remained still at the bottom of the bed. The water continued to move around them, never considering their presence an obstacle on the path.

We might feel we have more control if we rigidly stick to our guns and don’t accept change, but true strength walks hand in hand with flexibility.

We are taught since early age that stability is the key to living a life of purpose, but it can often become synonymous of stagnation. Being flexible, and working our way gently around obstacles, allows us to go further and achieve success using the least amount of effort.

Only a powerful flow during a storm would be strong enough to move the rocks out of the way, but fluidity and gentleness allow even the weakest trickle to move along without having to fight its way through.

Solidity and rigidity are not always the answers to the problem, but are often the path to resisting a solution.

Letting go of preconceived ideas gives us the opportunity to tackle a challenge with a fluid mind, and be able to shapeshift in any possible form which will make our passage a smooth and successful one. As Einstein once said, “Nothing will happen, until something moves.”

Embracing Change

We are afraid of change. It's human nature.
The fear of change—the fear of the unknown—is so great that we continue to live within the constraints of our own invisible walls.
Force of habit is a considerable influence in our culture; habit is synonymous with stability while change is disconcerting. It stirs unrest, like a storm stirs the sediment in the sea; until the waters calm down and the sediment settles back to the bottom, the water appears cloudy.
We are very much creatures of habit. We eat, work and sleep at specific times, and have squeezed in multiple other activities, with little to no room for change.
In the midst of this structured life, most of us inevitably arrive at a point where change is necessary for survival. Because we never learned to easily accept change, we panic when we feel forced to make important decisions. Instead of embracing change as a new opportunity filled with adventure, we become almost paralyzed with fear.
Controlled by fear, we dig in and stay put, even if the walls are closing in. We stay in miserable life situations, feeling we don't have the strength to change anything, until something pushes us to our limit and we must make a choice.
Many times our fears aren't readily apparent. Sometimes we know what we want and pursue it with confidence, with no doubts. Or so we think. No matter how sure we are in our minds about a goal or desire, fears often lurk beneath the surface.
As scary as change can be, it doesn't have to be undertaken all at once. Sometimes small steps in the right direction are more beneficial than an explosive life-altering effort. Taking small steps, one day at a time, is less traumatic than rebuilding our entire world from scratch.
If we can learn to tap into our innate wisdom and intuition, we will gradually become able to discern the difference between our fears based on insecurities versus our soul trying to steer us into the flow of least resistance.
Change, and the strength to surrender to it, are an important part of our lives and should be viewed as an opportunity to experience wonderful things yet unseen.

The Tree of Life

As I was sitting on my deck, sipping iced tea while my husband grilled baby back ribs, yesterday afternoon, a storm quickly approached from the South.
The wind suddenly increased, ruffling the green mane of the trees in the woods behind my house, and the sweet scent of rain quickly permeated the air.
I sat back and watched the trees gently dancing; somehow I thought of the time when Hurricane Fran unexpectedly came into Raleigh, and I remembered the staggering amount of trees that bowed in its presence. At the time, I lived in a house situated under the shady umbrella of a large Poplar, and I held my breath while Fran came through, hoping the tree would not fall and slice my house like a birthday cake.
Thankfully, the Poplar didn’t fall; however, as I was able to assess the next morning during a brief walk in the neighborhood, many other trees hadn’t been as blessed, and were now sadly laying on the ground, some of them resting over roofs and cars.
The thing that struck me at the time was that most of the fallen trees were larger ones, but I think I was too overwhelmed with the whole situation to give that minor detail any further thought.
As I sat on my deck yesterday, however, that scene came back into mind, and it quickly correlated to the attitudes people assume as they walk through life.
Some, like the larger trees, remain rigidly in their position, ready to defy the approaching storm, and prepared to stand their ground. When the storms are of low to medium intensity they are able to stand proudly, barely allowing the winds to ruffle their hair. Yet, when hit by a particularly strong storm, the rigid and apparently powerful posture becomes their curse, and often leads to sure death and uprooting.
The smaller, thinner trees don’t tower over anything, and they are certainly not impressive as they are violently thrust in the powerful winds. Yet, after the storm, most of them are still standing, and are able to thrive on the nourishment provided by the decomposition of the demised larger trees. Their smaller stature has allowed them to follow the wind, rather than fight it. Similarly, people who keep an open mind, and are able to sway with the currents of change, are going to be the ones who will stand at the end of the storm. Flexibility will ensure their survival.
Life moves like quicksilver, and we constantly have to adjust to different fads, trends, and ideas; although it is good to maintain our focus on those elements that have sustained our survival through the ages, it is also important to realize that everything evolves. By sticking too rigidly to thoughts and ideals that no longer fit the current need, we fail to serve ourselves and the rest of society.
It is in our greater interest to allow ourselves to be flexible enough when the storms come, and not solely rely on the strength of our roots.
Then, maybe, we will still be here after the storms have finally cleared.