A Wish Upon A Star

“Star light, Star bright, the first star I see tonight, I wish I may, I wish I might, have the wish I wish tonight.” ~


When I woke up early in the morning, I had no idea what an amazing day yesterday would turn out to be. In so many ways, March 4 was special already, as it marked the first day of my oldest son attending a driving class. The rest of the day passed relatively uneventful, and it was almost seven o’clock when I finally got home. I started dinner and helped my daughter glue a small project she was working on, mindlessly stirring a pot of beef stew while some of the layers were drying.

By the time I went to check the mail, the sun had gone down, and one could feel a definite chill in the air; the street was quiet, softly wrapped in a dark blanket only interrupted by the yellow light filtering out of the blinds in neighbor’s windows. I opened the mailbox and stuck my hand inside, expecting to retrieve a handful of junk mail and maybe a bill or two, and I was quite surprised to find instead a large, stuffed envelope. At first thought, I assumed it was from my parents, although neither of them had alerted me of anything on the way; when I looked at the sender, my mouth instantly dried.

There in front of me was an envelope sent by my publisher, and unless the information my fingers sent to my brain was wrong, the content felt like books! I am expecting advance copies of Housekeeping for the Soul, but I didn’t think I would receive them until next week at the earliest, so this was a surprise I wasn’t prepared for. I took the envelope into the kitchen and opened one side; when my eyes caught sight of something black, my heart stopped! Could it be? Was it? Was I about to see a finished copy of the novel I have worked on for the last three years?

I pulled the first book out and just stared at it speechlessly. Due to be out in June, I suppose it never occurred to me that some advanced copies had already gone to the printer; and instead, here it was in front of me, the dream I never thought would materialize, in all its glory of three-hundred pages and bound with a beautiful cover. I don’t think that I could forget this first moment even if I lived two-hundred years…tears ran down my cheeks, and my hands shook. I took the book to the living room and sat on the couch. Instantly, I was hit with the realization of how magical this entire journey has been, and of how many angels have crossed my path to make it happen.

The first angel was a kind agent I met at the beginning of the journey, a no-nonsense lady who clearly told me the story had merit but needed to be cleaned out by a professional editor. She told me to get back in touch with her after completing the edit, as she would like to have first option at representing it. The search for an editor led to Dena, my amazing literary half who helped me turn a dream into reality. When the book was ready – or so I thought at the time – I e-mailed the same agent, but the e-mails bounced back. Today I realize that her only role in this was to point out the direction I should take, and once that was fulfilled she was gone. The rest of the story I have told times before, so I won’t go into details, but I think it is important to be aware that once an intention is set, not only does Universe get things in motion by arranging events and encounters, but strangely, the right people seem to walk into the scene at the exactly the right moment.

Throughout this journey I have met many angels – some have been champions of support, others have helped with editing and proof reading, and some more have come in with powerful suggestions. There are no words that can describe how grateful I am to everyone who made this whole process possible, and how humbled I am by the power of Universe, for once again it has showed me that if you put a wish upon a star and believe it will happen, a dream can someday become a beautiful reality.

Cold Feet

“Your current safe boundaries were once unknown frontiers.” ~ Anonymous

As time passes, and the so long awaited day of publication gets closer, I have to admit that I am scared to death; I’m equally thrilled, mind you, but terrified nonetheless. What am I worried about? In all truth, I don’t even know…a bit of everything, I suppose. I worry that my cozy, routine-driven life will change, my kids will be upset if I have to travel much, and, to some extent, I guess a part of me is a bit insecure of the outcome.

I don’t think I have ever thought much about all this, but I did yesterday, as I tried to weigh my pros and cons of attending a huge book event in New York City in May. Suddenly, the thought of venturing out of NC alone felt overwhelming, and I had to smile at the feeling. Twenty years ago I took an enormous dive into the unknown when I moved here from Europe alone; it was quite challenging at first, but somehow, driven by the enthusiasm of youth, I lived through the initial obstacles. Over the years, all that was new and scary gradually leveled, and I am now completely adjusted and comfortable here.

Will the same happen next year, as a new chapter of my life – one I have dreamt of since childhood – finally starts? I know that time and experience will work wonders. Right now everything in front of me is so very new that I can’t help being a little apprehensive. Things could progress wonderfully or they could fail miserably, but if I don’t charge forward with a positive attitude I will never truly know, and I would automatically forfeit everything I have worked for. If I look back at the initial part of this journey, I can appreciate that I was equally antsy back then; I had no idea how to navigate the channels of the publishing world, I had no clue how to find an editor, an agent, a publisher, but in time all the puzzle pieces fell into place. Now that the picture has finally emerged and it is almost time to officially show it to the world, I find that I have cold feet…I hope that, as it happened in the beginning, destiny will give me a gift of warm socks.

So, thank you for listening today. Ambrose Redmoon once wrote that courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear. In my heart of hearts I know that to be true. Now I can only hope that my shaking brain cells will come to agree.

Birthday Reflections

Somebody had observed that they would like to read something about me and what I have accomplished, rather than always reading the stories I write about community and others.
I figured this would be a day as good as any others; maybe better, even, since today is my birthday. Yep, I am a ripe 39 today, and totally happy with it.
Really, there is not much about my life.
I moved to the States from Italy in November 1988 following a puppy love, and Raleigh has since been my home. My husband was in the military in Pisa, Italy, when we met.
I suppose language was my greatest challenge. When I met John (my husband) at the beach, I had bought a cassette course in English, and worked my behind off to learn as much as I could so that we could communicate.
When we got married and I moved here it was yet more challenging. The language learned on cassettes and the colorful spoken treasure of the south were two beasts unknown to each other.
Yet, I was determined. I read everything I could get my hands on, and tried to talk to as many people as possible, even making a fool of myself at times, when they could not understand me, or I couldn't understand them.
Since I left Italy right after High School, I decided to attend NC State. At the time, I also had to work full time, to make ends meet, so those years were so busy that they are almost blurred in my mind.
John and I worked and saved. We bought a small house, had one child. Then, we started a business, bought a bigger house and had two more children.
Meanwhile, I spent my free (few!) hours writing. Writing had always been my innermost passion from the heart, but I didn't feel confident enough to really go public with it yet.
As my kids got a bit older, I found I had more time on my hands; the business was pretty settled, my husband always at work, and my children always busy.
So, I wrote a novel. Just for fun. Just to pass time. When it was completed I let a few friends read it and they liked it. They suggested I try to publish it but I waved them off.
By then, however, they had planted the seed. I started thinking about publishing my work, and began looking for a literary agent. I was rejected more times than I care to count, mostly because I had no other writing credit, so even then, I have to credit my stubborness for continuing.
Finally, in May of this year I signed up with a literary agent.
By then I had two books under my belt, so we began working together toward finalizing both projects.
Both books were just announced yesterday on Publishers Markeplace, and also sent to several publishers, so now I am obviously keeping my fingers and toes crossed!
I guess that's all there is to me.
On a more personal note, I was raised in an average family, and everyone has always been very supportive of me. I grew up in a very spiritual environment, and most of the rules I live by today are the very same rules I learned when I was a child. I try to live my life in peace, respecting myself and others. That said, I have had challenges just like everyone else, but my deep spiritual faith has been the glue which has always kept me together.
Today, my time is shared between raising my children, who are now 13, 10 and almost 4, writing, talking to people about spiritual stuff, and helping my husband out in his business from time to time.
So, this is my life. It is not glamorous, or anything special to the eyes of the world, but it's a life that has been good to me, and I am thankful every time I open my eyes to a new day.