One Step at a Time

A few days ago, I took my daughter to the park after school. She quickly made friends and started playing with another little girl there, while I settled on a bench in the sun to read.

The other girl’s mother was busy holding the hands of a tiny little boy who was just taking his first steps; I tried to get into the book I had with me, but my eyes kept wandering back toward the efforts the little one was making. With fist-size feet planted on the ground, and a glimmer of determination in his eyes, the little boy was ready to take the world; his mother could barely hold him, as he excitedly tried to project forward, step after step. Watching him tackle this daunting task with such eagerness was inspiring in the least.

When we find ourselves in front of a new project – or even have an overwhelming list of things to do – many of us feel that what’s ahead is an impossible feat; so we procrastinate, in the hope of delaying the beginning of what we believe to be a very hard project. We are afraid of not getting everything done; we are afraid of being judged by others; we are afraid of starting something new because we don’t know if we can master the skill. Indeed, the common denominator to all that holds us back is fear of failing.

As adults we think too much, and not always with the right mind set. Rather than looking foolish in front of others, we’d rather sit back and let life pass us by. That baby wasn’t thinking; he was simply ‘being’; every cell in his little body was propelling him toward his goal. He didn’t care if he didn’t succeed right away; every time his legs buckled, or he fell, he was ready to get back up and try again. At one time, his mother let go of him for a few seconds; he took two steps alone and then fell on his bottom with a big smile on his face. By the time we left the park, his mother had let go a few other times, and on each occasion he had taken an extra step on his own; I would bet my next cup of coffee that within a couple of weeks he’ll be able to walk alone across a room.

When my bubbly daughter got in the car, I thought about how much she has accomplished in the five years she’s been alive, and I couldn’t help smiling at her through the rearview mirror.

It’s all about taking one step at a time, one day at a time, knowing that tomorrow we will accomplish a little bit more, just by putting one foot in front of the other.

Embracing Change (R)

We are afraid of change. It's human nature. The fear of change—the fear of the unknown—is so great that we continue to live within the constraints of our own invisible walls.

Force of habit is a considerable influence in our culture; habit is synonymous with stability while change is disconcerting. It stirs unrest, like a storm stirs the sediment in the sea; until the waters calm down and the sediment settles back to the bottom, the water appears cloudy. We are very much creatures of habit.

We eat, work and sleep at specific times, and have squeezed in multiple other activities, with little to no room for change. In the midst of this structured life, most of us inevitably arrive at a point where change is necessary for survival. Because we never learned to easily accept change, we panic when we feel forced to make important decisions. Instead of embracing change as a new opportunity filled with adventure, we become almost paralyzed with fear.

Controlled by fear, we dig in and stay put, even if the walls are closing in. We stay in miserable life situations, feeling we don't have the strength to change anything, until something pushes us to our limit and we must make a choice.

Many times our fears aren't readily apparent. Sometimes we know what we want and pursue it with confidence, with no doubts. Or so we think. No matter how sure we are in our minds about a goal or desire, fears often lurk beneath the surface. As scary as change can be, it doesn't have to be undertaken all at once. Sometimes small steps in the right direction are more beneficial than an explosive life-altering effort. Taking small steps, one day at a time, is less traumatic than rebuilding our entire world from scratch. If we can learn to tap into our innate wisdom and intuition, we will gradually become able to discern the difference between our fears based on insecurities versus our soul trying to steer us into the flow of least resistance.

Change, and the strength to surrender to it, are an important part of our lives and should be viewed as an opportunity to experience wonderful things yet unseen.