The Final Chance

Many years ago, when I first moved to the States, I met a woman with two young sons who lived in the apartment next to mine. We soon became friends, and when she was home from work we often got together for coffee, and chatted about different things. One day, she told me a story that remained with me throughout the years.

She and her husband had gotten into an argument, and they had gone to bed angry at each other. The next morning, she heard his alarm clock, but pretended to be asleep – she was still angry and refused to speak to him before he left. The husband went to work – he was a truck driver – and she slowly got up, and got ready to leave the house to go to her own job.

He called her a couple of hours later, tried to make small talk, and told her he loved her, but since she was still angry, she coldly told him she was busy and quickly hung up the phone. The phone rang again, and assuming it was still her husband, she chose not to answer. After a few rings, the line went silent.

That night she stopped by the grocery store on her way home, and lingered a while before going to pick up her two children from her sister’s house – she wasn’t ready to argue again, but was still steamed enough from the previous night to feel edgy at the thought of seeing her husband. It was a cold, rainy night in January, and she knew the children were hungry and tired, so she reluctantly drove home.

When she pulled into her driveway she was surprised to see the house completely dark, but it was even stranger that her husband’s truck wasn’t in the driveway. He was a creature of habit, and he was home by five every day. She and the children walked in and she started the usual routines. While she cooked, she replayed in her mind the argument she and her husband had the night before; by then, time had defused a bit of her anger and she felt calmer. She figured they would make up and forget once he got home.

When the doorbell rang, she opened the door and was ready to say she was sorry, but her words froze in her mouth as she laid eyes on the two police officers standing in front of her. They informed her that her husband had been in an accident. A car had skidded off the road and had headed directly toward his truck; to avoid the car he had turned sharply and had lost control of his vehicle, dying on impact.

We don’t know what tomorrow will bring. Just as much as we don’t need to live in fear, we also don’t need to take everything for granted. Please watch this beautiful video, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fx87cAE20oM , and see how important it is to acknowledge and forgive others, even if our differences seem insurmountable.

A bruised ego can cause some discomfort. Regret certainly causes more.

Only a Matter of Time

“Nothing valuable can be lost by taking time.” ~ Abraham Lincoln

Most spiritual scholars agree that time is only a human invention devised to organize our lives on earth. When I went to research the exact meaning of time, I was quite surprised to see that I couldn’t find a clear answer anywhere.

According to the Encarta Dictionary, time is described by the following definitions:

1- System of distinguishing events: a dimension that enables two identical events occurring at the same point in space to be distinguished, measured by the interval between the events.
2- Period with limits: a limited period during which an action, process, or condition exists or takes place.

Quite often we become distressed by the concept of time, and especially if we are waiting for something important to us, each hour feels like a whole day, and each day like a month. On the contrary, when we are having fun, time seems to move at the speed of light.

When we put a wish or a prayer out into the Universe, we sometimes feel disappointed and disheartened as hours and days flow by without result. Yet, nothing happens without a reason. When we are prompted to wait for something, it could simply be that something else requires our immediate attention. "In terms of our inner lives, no time exists except for what is happening in the present moment," says a Zen Buddhist teacher.

I ran into the following video a few days ago, and thought that it perfectly fit the concept of time needed for a blessing to unfold. Please watch it with an open heart and then see how it applies to your own life.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2OqOzM8MZl4&feature=related

The blessings of tomorrow will come at their own time. Today, however, is a limited commodity, and the blessings willingly overlooked may never come around again.

Seeing with the Heart - An Approach to Living a Meaningful Life

“The advantage of the emotions is that they lead us astray.” ~ Oscar Wilde


Several months ago, I expressed to a friend my belief that hatred and misunderstandings arise when people see things through their eyes only, rather than “seeing” with their hearts. The friend replied that people should never see with their hearts because emotions only lead to greater trouble.

When I told her that I agreed with her in part, she appeared confused, and couldn’t seem to reconcile my previous statement of “seeing with the heart”, with my standing on emotions. Indeed, it is quite simple – emotions are not born from the heart. We assume they are, as we are taught that if our feelings are hurt, our heart is broken, but in reality the two are not related. Emotions are born from the ego, the arch-enemy of the heart. A pure heart knows little or no ego, and is able to channel truth; ego, on the other hand, triggers false emotions to appease its bruised twin – pride – and tricks people into believing that their hurt feelings, and the illusion they feed, are coming from the heart.

Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh, an Indian spiritual leader, once made a statement that really strikes a cord, when it comes to the reason why emotions are often embraced even if their effect on our lives is detrimental. “When sadness comes,” he said, “just sit by the side, and look at it, and say ‘I am the watcher. I am not sadness.’ and see the difference. Immediately you have cut the very root of sadness. It is no more nourished. It will die of starvation. We feed these emotions by being identified with them.”

Identifying with emotions is extremely simple, and whether the emotions are positive or negative, they become a comfort zone it is hard to break away from, since the other side - void of familiar feelings - represents the unknown.

In a very interesting interview, the Dalai Lama said that the first step to enlightenment is to put a rein on emotions by exercising self-discipline. By restraining emotions one does not become dry and unfeeling, but rather has the ability of seeing with increased clarity, without being falsely led by an ego screaming to be acknowledged. “Seeing with the heart” means that one is willing to love without judgment, is ready to forgive and be compassionate, and is open to acceptance of things that would be maddening if seen through the eyes only.

After discussing the difference between emotions and heart guidance, my friend was able to begin healing some painful issues she had dealt with after the break-up of her marriage. She realized that when her husband left, her pride was bruised, and the emotional charge that ensued was the voice of her ego struggling over her loss of control. Several months later, she is doing much better; her anger is gone, and she now enjoys “watching” and discerning different emotions that arise on the average day. Her relationship with her ex-husband has also greatly improved, which is a blessing since they share two children. She sees that their marriage was doomed by mutual incompatibility, and wishes her former spouse well on his new life. She is finally able to “see with her heart.”