Hidden Blessings

Some of you might be aware that my 12-year-old son is now on his fourth day trying to leave Italy and get back home. Because of flight delays and cancellations which have made it impossible for him to make his connection, and given that he is an unaccompanied minor, the airline has refused until today to board him until they were sure he could have proper supervision during layovers. This situation has caused everyone a lot of frustration, but in the end, we will never know if all he went through happened for a reason unknown to us. When I mentioned that to someone, yesterday, they said: ‘Well, the flight he was initially scheduled to be on reached destination without incidents, so I can’t imagine what the reason would be.”


Truth is that things aren’t always what they seem. Yes, the flight arrived – even if late -- but what if we had gone somewhere after his arrival and something happened then? Of course, that’s just a supposition, but I deeply believe that many situations are averted every day without us even knowing. When anything unpleasant occurs, it is always very difficult to see the hidden blessings. The people whose alarms didn’t work - or whose cars broke down - the morning of 9/11, were probably very angry, and didn’t realize their fortune until they heard what happened. We may misplace our car keys and spend thirty minutes looking for them. Meanwhile, thanks to that delay we might have missed getting into a traffic accident. We may be upset because we haven’t been hired for a job position we wanted; yet, if we had, we might have missed a better opportunity that was right around the corner. Going through this ordeal reminded me of a story someone e-mailed me some time ago, so I am including it in this post.


“Two angels were traveling the country, occasionally seeking food and shelter during their journey. They came upon a very poor farm, and asked for shelter. The farmer and his wife shared the little food they had, and offered their bed so the tired strangers could sleep comfortably. Early after the sun had risen, the two Angels were awakened by the farmer and his wife weeping. Their only cow, whose milk was their sole wealth, had died during the night. The younger Angel became angry, and asked the older spirit why he would let this poor man’s cow die. The older Angel replied: “Things aren’t always as they seem. When we were down in the basement, I saw gold hidden behind the wall, so I patched the hole to hide the fortune away from the greedy owner. Last night, while we were sleeping, I saw the Angel of Death coming for the farmer’s wife. I asked him to take the cow instead.” ~Author unknown


As all gifts, blessings come in many packages. Some are very obvious and colorful, while some others are so subtle that we don't even recognize them for what they are.
Each moment in our lives is a perfect moment, whether we do or don’t realize its value. Through our experiences we grow, learn, become better people; for some, the most meaningful gifts have come from the difficult moments they have survived.
As we are reminded by the older Angel, things aren’t always as they seem. Even the worst tragedy or the most annoying occurrence may hold the seed of our greatest blessing.

The Things We Take for Granted

I take things for granted. Most of us do, to some extent. I thought about this last night, as I sat at the kitchen table at ten o’ clock at night, helping my oldest son with a school assignment.

Now, my son Stephen is a very good kid – sweet, compassionate, and always happy – but he has a maddening quality: he is a procrastinator. If he has a project due, it is left for the last hour of the last day before it is due, leading, of course, to a mad dash and panic to get it done on time. I have tried to explain to him many times how he should pace himself, and try to set up a schedule to get things done, all to no avail. He means well, he really does, but he can’t help being a social butterfly and a bouncing ball when it comes to activities.

So, here I was last night, secretly boiling inside and pouting about the fact that another evening of mine was sacrificed to his social life; then a light went off.

I thought about all those kids who are sullen and withdrawn, isolated and unable to connect to others. I thought about the meaning of being a kid, and the demands society has on kids these days. I also thought about parents who have children with illnesses, the ones whose sons and daughters are confined in a hospital room, void of energy and preoccupied with issues they shouldn’t have to worry about at their young age. Those parents would give all their possessions to have a bubbly, smiling child, and their hearts would warm quickly if they could detect a small mischievous twinkle in their own kids’ eyes.

That’s when I realized how fortunate I am. My kids are not perfect – none of us is – but they are good, normal kids, who have been lucky enough to be born in a life void of hardship, in which they can live their childhood years worry-free, thinking about sports, games and girls.

I looked up from the paper and glimpsed at Stephen. He felt that I was staring at him, so he looked back at me a little puzzled. When he saw I was smiling he grinned and his eyes sparkled. I took his hand and told him I love him. We finished the assignment sooner than I thought. Stephen stood up and was ready to bolt out the room to go play with his brother, but before he got to the stairs he turned around and came to give me a hug. “Thank you for helping me, Mom” he breathed in my neck. “I love you”. Then he was gone.

I was no longer pouting. Suddenly, I was really excited about the future he, his brother and sister have ahead. They may not be the poster children for perfection, but they have good values, good thoughts, good hearts, and, most of all, they are happy children. The rest will come with time.

Delicious Expectation

"The pleasure of expecting enjoyment is often greater than that of obtaining it, and the completion of almost every wish is found a disappointment." ~ Samuel Johnson


As we were driving home last night, my son raised his eyes to the lottery billboard and whistled when he saw the staggering jackpot amount. "How much money do you think that is, Mom?" he asked with childlike curiosity. "Too much", I replied. "Yes," Michael interjected, "after winning a sum like that, one is set for life. His children and grandchildren will be, too. "

When he said that, the first image that popped in my head was that of a group of dysfunctional, unhappy individuals, so I shared my thought with my son. He agreed with me, and said that he doesn’t even enjoy stuff that much, unless he has saved up for it.

Our conversation led me to think back about my childhood years, when the mere thought of surprises on the way was enough to fill me with excitement and expectation. I loved Christmas eve as a child; that magical, thrilling time when one’s head filled with expectations and the heart was ripe with hopeful wishes. As excruciating as it was, waiting for the big day was painfully delicious. I still remember looking in awe at the pretty packages under the tree, and fantasizing about the content.

Then Christmas day came. We were happy, the tree was assaulted, the gifts opened, and the house was filled with cheerful thoughts and good wishes; yet, something was also a bit sad – another year had to pass before another Christmas. Though they were usually what we had petitioned for, the joy at seeing the actual gifts paled in comparison to the feeling of absolute wonder from the day before.

We often feel that we should expedite events in our lives, but we sadly forget to notice that the best part of achieving anything is indeed the expectation of receiving the blessing. If we take time to listen within, our energy in those moments is fueled by pure hope; if we could bottle up our excitement, and save it for a rainy day, life would be much simpler and enjoyable.

When looking ahead, the final destination is only one of the blessings of the journey; the rest of it – including expectations – is the part we must truly cherish and be thankful for. Disappointment can be a crash to the ego, but it can also open the door to creativity and motivate one to reach a lot further.

An Unexpected Treat

It is by chance that we met, by choice that we became friends.” ~ Author unknown


Two years ago, while I was looking for a literary agent, I set up profiles on every site that could help me get in touch with the right representative; along with the benefits of exposure, also came the less appreciated, infamous e-mails from the sites which regularly clog my inbox.

One morning, about a year or so ago, I received yet another notification of a new member signing up. Instead than deleting the message on sight - as I habitually did after I no longer needed to find an agent - that morning I felt compelled to click on the link. When the page opened, I stared at four profiles: two poets, an agent whose niche was young adult fiction, and a novelist, Renee Otis. Renee had opened a profile to either get the attention of an agent or to get suggestions from fellow writers. On her profile was a short synopsis of her novel – slave ghosts, ancient traditions, a psychic nurse, a comatose man who mentally communicated with her; in short, her novel had all the ingredients for a good story – so I wrote to her, and we began exchanging thoughts. In time, she sent me her novel to read and comment on, and I loved it! As fate had it, she soon signed up with one of my friends who had gone on to open a literary agency of her own after working as an agent assistant for a while.

The day before yesterday I had a surprise. I checked my messages and read that Renee had sent me a note on Facebook; she was coming to Raleigh for a week of training and wanted to know if we could meet. Initially, she was supposed to go to Philadelphia, but at the last minute the schedule had changed and she was sent to North Carolina.

I was very excited to meet her in person; over time we had virtually shared hopes, dreams and fears, and now we had the chance to meet face to face. We decided to meet at the hotel she stayed at, and spent a wonderful hour and a half talking over a glass of wine. If someone there was listening to us, they would have thought we had always known each other – we talked about our current projects and about the woes and wows of the publishing world, but our conversation derailed several times to other topics, and it was absolutely amazing to see how two perfect strangers who had never before met in person could be so instantly connected and comfortable with one another.

Since we both had to be up early I didn’t stay long, but we made plans to possibly get together again before she leaves town. As I drove home I thought of how strange life is sometimes, and how wonderful. If I hadn’t clicked on that link the year before, I never would have known Renee exists – though I am sure I would have discovered her later on once her amazing novel makes it to the printer – and if her company hadn’t switched schedules, it would have likely been years before we met, if indeed we were meant to meet at all.

Each day has the potential of revealing surprises that might not always be welcome, but it also reserves the right to treat us with unexpected blessings when we least expect them; the trick, I suppose, is to remain open to all we can receive.

In this case, I was blessed with the opportunity to meet someone extremely talented, with whom I share many of the same interests, whose name I will see listed some day on the New York Times list of best-selling novelists. For now, I am just happy that a link on a message led me to someone so dear.

The Rocks in the Bowl

“The secret of happiness is to count your blessings while others are adding up their troubles.” ~ Author unknown


A couple of weeks ago I read an article about a lady who keeps two bowls of river rocks on her fireplace mantel, one filled with white rocks, and one filled with darker rocks. Every time something positive happens in her day, she switches one of the dark rocks with a white one to symbolize the positive occurrence, and each time something bad happens she takes the stone out and puts it back in its original bowl.

Quite intrigued with her idea, I also filled two bowls with rocks – twenty-eight in each container to symbolize a full lunar month – and since I didn’t have any white and dark ones, I used smooth rocks and jagged pebbles. My plan was to see how many of each type I would have in the bowl after one month.

The past two weeks have been uneventful for the most part, without particularly positive or negative events – a limbo of energies – but I still managed to move rocks in response to smaller events that normally would not have caught my attention. Then, as if Universe had finally awakened from slumber and decided it was time to light a little fire under the pot to make the water boil, a string of wonderful things came to pass yesterday, and I happily switched five of the jagged rocks with smooth ones.

Last night, after everyone went to bed, I stood in front of the mantel, and I looked at the two bowls of rocks; after two weeks, even after taking some out, I have successfully switched fifteen rocks! That means that on average, even including the days when nothing particularly good happened or something unpleasant came to pass, I had witnessed at least one positive thing for each day that had passed.

By all means, they weren’t all amazing events, and some of them were in fact small victories, but what seemed important was that I never would have noticed those subtle happy moments if it hadn’t been for the fact that everything else felt ‘stuck’. Just like one doesn’t notice a warm, sunny day during the summer when the warm, sunny days are a dime a dozen, but instantly feels transported to a heavenly place if such a day occurs in the midst of a colder, rainy season, sometimes we need to slow down and feel we are traveling on low gear to notice the smaller blessings.

My mom used to always tell me and my sister that it can’t be Christmas every day, and in a way I am glad it isn’t, for this way I don’t get to bypass the small joys. And the rocks in the bowl are getting smoother with each passing day.

Behind the Scenes of Karma and Acceptance

Among the things that are hardest for some people to do, accepting help or blessings probably ranks toward the top of the list.

In many cases, the awkward feeling we experience when presented with a gift goes back to how we feel about ourselves. We are conditioned, since early childhood, to associate rewards with “good behavior”. In our minds, in order to reap fruits, we must know we deserve them, and many times we fall short of our own expectations.

We’ve all seen people who seem to have all the luck, while some others appear to walk from one disaster to the next. Many describe this as Karma. We experience good Karma when we feel in our hearts that we have done the right thing and have lived according to our system of beliefs. When we feel we are “good”, good things come to us. We project good thoughts out because we feel at peace and happy, and those feelings allow us to accept whatever blessings are on our path. Similarly, bad Karma works on the same principles. If we have done something we feel bad about, or have indulged behaviors that are condemned by our system of beliefs, then we feel we must be punished, rather than rewarded. We put a lock on the door of blessings, and open that of misery instead.

Traditionally, karma is believed to be something we carry along through lifetimes until we have experienced what we have caused in the past. One wise man whose name now I can’t recall, once said that if you wish to discover who you were in your past life, or who you will be in the next one, you should look at the life you are currently living. Looking at the big picture, it’s not hard to see how that process would work – our body dies, but our soul remains and continues to record experiences through different incarnations until we “get” all the lessons we are supposed to assimilate. Interestingly, in the field of child psychology, children are observed during play sessions, while they “act out’ their blocks. The human mind needs to rehearse events it doesn’t have a clear picture of, and repeats their pattern until the cycle is broken by an outside catalyst. When our inner blocks trigger an emotional charge to external events, we subconsciously set out to “replay” the original block.

Our subconscious mind – connected to the mind of all creation – has two roles; the first is to store information catalogued according to the emotional charge attached to it; the second is to pick up “thoughts” and requests filtered through the rational mind, and manifest them into our daily reality. Learning how to accept involves learning how to get rid of buried guilt and feelings of low self-worth. Each of us deserves to be happy, regardless of what we might feel bad about – consciously or subconsciously.

So, rather than “you shouldn’t have”, our response to someone offering a gift should simply be “Thank you”. After all, if that person, or Universe itself, decides to bless you with something, you are, obviously, worthy of it.

In the Christian belief, Jesus told sick people they were forgiven for their sins, before he told them they could get up and walk, or go back home and find their child healed. Once they felt their sins, and the guilt associated with them, were lifted, they were ready to accept the blessings.

A psychologist in Hawaii, convinced that perception affects our personal reality, decided to try a test. He became acquainted with a group of violent inmates, and every day he took ten to fifteen minutes to sit still and repeat a simple mantra: “I love and I forgive”. When he repeated those simple words, over and over, he did not choose to direct those words to a specific person, but only to attract a positive emotional charge within himself. In less than a month, as his perception of them had shifted, the behavior of the inmates had greatly improved.

Ultimately, we can change our reality. All we need to do is believe it, forgive ourselves for what we can’t change, and know that we are good enough to receive the blessings already on their way.

An Unexpected Reminder

“The mere fact that you have obstacles to overcome is in your favor…” ~ Robert Collier


Yesterday, while on my way to pick up my son from a sleepover, I got a flat tire shortly after leaving my house. I pulled over into a side street, called my husband to inform him of where the car was located and walked home.

It was a nice walk – the trees lining the street were raining hues of orange and gold, and the breeze was cool enough to remind one of the changes ahead. As I was admiring the small bunches of leaves neatly bunched by the base of the trees, something caught my eye…in the midst of the soft leafy bed was a five dollar bill!

I picked it up and gingerly walked the rest of the way. When I got back, I called my son’s friend’s parents to let them know I would be a bit late picking him up. They said that it was no problem; in fact, they offered to give him a ride so I would not have to rush my husband getting the tire fixed.

While I was talking to them, my oldest son made some coffee, and we both sat at the kitchen table chatting for a bit. It was a lovely time. We talked about lots of different things, and I thoroughly enjoyed those moments with him. Toward the end of our coffee chat, the phone rang and I was overjoyed to hear the voice of a friend I hadn’t talked to in years.

Shortly after, my youngest son was dropped off, and my husband arrived to fix the tire. Suddenly I realized something…if my tire hadn’t gone flat, I would have missed out on a lot of good things. Somehow, this obstacle allowed me to slow down and smell the proverbial roses.

It’s hard to properly assess an obstacle in the heat of its manifestation, as our attention is absorbed by the difficulties of the moment, but if one is able to detach from the emotional charge which is brewed during a trying experience, good things began to emerge, and when all is said and done, we realize that we have gained more than we have lost.

Obstacles slow us down and give us the chance to notice the blessings we would otherwise bypass.

Only a Matter of Time

“Nothing valuable can be lost by taking time.” ~ Abraham Lincoln

Most spiritual scholars agree that time is only a human invention devised to organize our lives on earth. When I went to research the exact meaning of time, I was quite surprised to see that I couldn’t find a clear answer anywhere.

According to the Encarta Dictionary, time is described by the following definitions:

1- System of distinguishing events: a dimension that enables two identical events occurring at the same point in space to be distinguished, measured by the interval between the events.
2- Period with limits: a limited period during which an action, process, or condition exists or takes place.

Quite often we become distressed by the concept of time, and especially if we are waiting for something important to us, each hour feels like a whole day, and each day like a month. On the contrary, when we are having fun, time seems to move at the speed of light.

When we put a wish or a prayer out into the Universe, we sometimes feel disappointed and disheartened as hours and days flow by without result. Yet, nothing happens without a reason. When we are prompted to wait for something, it could simply be that something else requires our immediate attention. "In terms of our inner lives, no time exists except for what is happening in the present moment," says a Zen Buddhist teacher.

I ran into the following video a few days ago, and thought that it perfectly fit the concept of time needed for a blessing to unfold. Please watch it with an open heart and then see how it applies to your own life.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2OqOzM8MZl4&feature=related

The blessings of tomorrow will come at their own time. Today, however, is a limited commodity, and the blessings willingly overlooked may never come around again.

A Quarter-Worth

“A system is in equilibrium when the forces constituting it are arranged in such a way as to compensate each other, like the two weights pulling at the arms of a pair of scales.” ~ Rudolf Arnheim


About a year ago, I bought a pair of scales at the flea market, and placed them on the table in my prayer and meditation corner. For a while, each time something unpleasant occurred I would place a small weight on one of the plates, and when something good happened, I’d put a weight on the other one. For small things I would add a penny, for medium events a nickel and for real breakthroughs a quarter.

I continued adding weights each day to see what would happen, and I noticed something quite interesting – the “good” and “bad” weights alternated each other in a fairly regular pattern. If some days I had a sequence of bad penny-worth situations, the next one to come up would be a nickel or quarter worth of their opposite.

I watched that pattern for several days, mesmerized by the random precision of it, and I wondered if this concept applies to natural phenomena as well. I began to observe weather patterns more closely and indeed noticed that in average, nature was also able to balance itself, contrary to what many people believed.

The day before yesterday I had a quarter-worth of annoying situations crossing my path, but just one day later things began to balance again – I woke up yesterday morning to cheerful birthday wishes from many friends, I received wonderful news from my publisher, and when we went out to dinner, the restaurant manager surprised me in two ways – he brought me a slice of cake with a candle – since he heard from my very vocal daughter that it was mom’s birthday - and he only charged us for half the bill. After dinner we walked into a bookstore and I found a great book to read for the next few days.

Needless to say, my scales were by now tipping on the positive side. Will the weight change again tomorrow, or the next day? Maybe so – in fact it probably will, at least for a short while, just to bring the scales back into balance.

One of the most interesting things I have learned from “weighing” events has been that a lack of balance in either direction is not necessarily a good thing. If things go always wrong, one’s spirit gets crushed and numb, but if things go always right, we tend to become too complacent and blind to the circumstances of others, in addition to losing the satisfaction that comes from overcoming obstacles. Sunshine would get pretty boring if an occasional storm didn’t break the monotony.

Obstacles allow us the opportunity to notice the blessings, and at times they are the only mean for us to slow down and appreciate the beauty surrounding us. Even when they are a quarter-worth.

A Perfect Moment

“Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn’t learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn’t learn a little, at least we didn’t get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn’t die; so, let us all be thankful.” ~Buddha


As humans, we easily take things for granted. Although few of us have concrete reasons to be unhappy, we nearly view complaining as a birthright. Regardless of how unfortunate we are at any given juncture in our lives, the hard times are usually temporary, and we are able to bounce back if so we choose.

Being thankful for the blessings in our lives is a skill we can learn to master. Each day we start a new page of our reality – we can choose to rewrite the lines of yesterday, or begin a new chapter. If the pages already written could use some editing, it is never too late to work on them. There is always room for improvement, yet there are things in our lives that are perfect the way they are, if we stop a moment and acknowledge their existence.

One of my mother’s friends once told me that every morning he thinks about the people and things he would not want to live without, then says a small prayer of gratitude.

Generally speaking, very few of us – if any at all – are completely aware, and consciously thankful, of how much we have going for ourselves, as we rarely pause long enough to acknowledge everything in our world. Let’s consider health, for example – we don’t realize how blessed we are until we begin to have problems. All the days we spend pain-free and absorbed in something else, we probably never give a second thought to the fact that we are healthy.

The same goes for about everything else in our lives. We might run short of money and eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for a month. Yet, we have eaten and we are full – our immediate need is taken care of.

We might just be recovering from a broken relationship, during the course of which someone betrayed us. Maybe they did us a favor by timely showing us their true colors, thus giving us the chance to meet somebody else who can really love us the way we deserve.

Realistically, we will never be totally happy until we decide we are going to be. No matter how wealthy, loved, or successful we are, we are going to want more. We can look at things in two ways – we can notice the beauty of our surroundings and enjoy being where we are, or we can be on a constant road trip that will likely lead us nowhere.

In this particular instant, ask yourself what is missing for you to be happy. Not yesterday, not tomorrow, nor the day after. Consider this one moment and determine what is missing and what is available to you in this second. What’s already there is very likely more plentiful than what is not.

Unconditional Prayers

“The only way of knowing a person is to love them without hope.” ~Walter Benjamin

A few days ago, my father informed me that my best friend of childhood recently lost her dad to throat cancer. While growing up, I saw through her eyes how trying living with an alcoholic can be.

I never quite understood why her mother put herself and the children through all they went through. She was financially self-sufficient and could have moved on to a better life, yet she never left - even after the kids were old enough to move out, she stuck by her vows.

When I called my friend to offer my belated condolences, her mother was at her house babysitting the grandchildren, so we talked for a while. She told me of the suffering her husband went through during the last few months, and was happy he was finally free of pain. There was so much peace and love in her words that I was speechless.

I told her how much I admired her strength and devotion through the years, although I doubt I could have done what she did, had I been in her place. Her reply was a simple one: “I loved him, and he wasn’t a bad man; he was only a sad man.” She went on to explain about his horrible childhood and the way he had changed and found peace in the last few years.

She loved him unconditionally, regardless of his demons. She knew she could not erase years of abuse, and had little hope of changing him, but always prayed that he would find inner healing. She told me that every time she prayed for him, she always did so for his higher good, and wished him to find his light. Not once had she asked to change who he was. Yet, he had changed. By embracing the hardship through her unconditional love she had confirmed something very important: Prayers should be sent for the highest good of the person we are praying for, not for our personal gain.

It is hard to wish well upon those who create strife in our lives, and when we do pray for them, we often ask that they change in ways that make them acceptable in our eyes, thus attempting one final time to control the unveiling of their destiny.

Try this today - whenever you see or think of a person you have issues with, just pray for them. Ask for their healing and nothing more; do so over and over again. By blessing them, you will indirectly bless and heal yourself.

Prayer changes things. It changes US. And our world will change as well, once we decide it is time to change ourselves.

A Good Cup of Life

“Knowledge is a process of piling up facts; wisdom lies in their simplification.” ~ Martin Fischer

Early morning is usually my best time of the day. It is in the first couple of hours after I wake up that interesting thoughts pierce through the fiber of my awareness as needles sharpened by the quiet hours of the night.

Yesterday morning was no different. I got up and went to the kitchen to fetch a cup of coffee, and found my husband already there. I gladly took the cup he handed me, my senses jarred by the pungent aroma of coffee. When I glimpsed inside the cup, I noticed the coffee looked darker than I normally would drink it, but said nothing and proceeded to take a sip. Not only did it look darker, it was also bitter. I asked if he had added cream and sugar and he nodded as he got ready to dive into the newspaper.

Determined to not bug him any further but hell-bent on having a good first cup of coffee, I stood up and added more cream and sugar on my own. I stirred them in and tried again…absolutely disgusting. The coffee looked pale as a ghost, and was entirely too sweet. I realized then that my husband had indeed added cream and sugar – he had simply not stirred the coffee after he did.

Similarly, when blessings and wisdom are bestowed upon us, we don’t readily see them or acknowledge them until we “stir” them into our daily lives and apply them to our individual situations. One thing is to hear something; another is to actually listen and learn.

Simple knowledge of a concept is nothing more than a handful of nothing if we don’t apply that wisdom to something concrete. Without integration, knowledge is suspended in limbo, and rarely becomes a part of who we are. It remains the ghost of a thought that will not incarnate without our permission, and will continue to hover over us until we actively choose to shift the lessons from being purely intellectual to practical.

We can read manuals on how to fly a plane, but until we fly one, we really don’t know how. Functioning within the realm of life is no different – we can read hundreds of books, or hear lengthy sermons, about peace, tolerance, forgiveness and unity, but until we choose to make those chapters of higher awareness a part of our daily lives nothing will change. Reciting Biblical passages on unconditional love will not make us more loving, if after leaving church we personally judge how much others deserve to be loved.

Wisdom and knowledge are the cream and sugar in our coffee. Pouring them into the cup is the first step, but the perfect flavor will not be achieved until we have made the effort of properly stirring them in.

The Things We Take For Granted

I take things for granted. Most of us do, to some extent.
I thought about this last night, as I sat at the kitchen table at ten o’ clock at night, helping my oldest son with a school assignment.
Now, my son Stephen is a very good kid – sweet, compassionate, and always happy – but he has a maddening quality: he is a procrastinator. If he has a project due, it is left for the last hour of the last day before it is due, leading, of course, to a mad dash and panic to get it done on time.
I have tried to explain to him many times how he should pace himself, and try to set up a schedule to get things done; all to no avail. He means well, he really does, but he can’t help being a social butterfly, and a bouncing ball when it comes to activities.
So, here I was last night, secretly boiling inside and pouting about the fact that another evening of mine was sacrificed to his social life; then a light went off.
I thought about all those kids who are sullen and withdrawn, isolated and unable to connect to others. I thought about the meaning of being a kid, and the demands society has on kids these days. I also thought about parents who have children with illnesses, the ones whose sons and daughters are confined in a hospital room, void of energy and preoccupied with issues they shouldn’t have to worry about at their young age. Those parents would give all their possessions to have a bubbly, smiling child, and their hearts would warm quickly if they could detect a small mischievous twinkle in their own kids’ eyes.
That’s when I realized how fortunate I am.
My kids are not perfect – none of us is – but they are good, normal kids, who have been lucky enough to be born in a life void of hardship, in which they can live their childhood years worry-free, thinking about sports, games and girls.
I looked up from the paper and glimpsed at Stephen. He felt that I was staring at him, so he looked back at me a little puzzled. When he saw I was smiling he grinned and his eyes sparkled. I took his hand and told him I love him.
We finished the assignment sooner than I thought. Stephen stood up and was ready to bolt out the room to go play with his brother, but before he got to the stairs he turned around and came to give me a hug. “Thank you for helping me, Mom” he breathed in my neck. “I love you”.
Then he was gone.
I was no longer pouting. Suddenly, I was really excited about the future he, his brother and sister have ahead. They may not be the poster children for perfection, but they have good values, good thoughts, good hearts, and, most of all, they are happy children.
The rest will come with time.

Hidden Blessings

“Two angels were traveling the country, occasionally seeking food and shelter during their journey. They stopped at an opulent mansion, and asked if they could have shelter for the night. The owner let them in, and told them they could make a bed on the floor in the cold basement. As they prepared to turn in, the older Angel noticed a hole in the wall and repaired it. The next day they left the mansion and continued their journey. They came upon a very poor farm, and once again they asked for shelter. The farmer and his wife shared the little food they had, and offered their bed so the tired strangers could sleep comfortably. Early after the sun had risen, the two Angels were awakened by the farmer and his wife weeping. Their only cow, whose milk was their sole wealth, had died during the night. The younger Angel became angry, and asked the older spirit why he would help a rich man by fixing his wall but would let this poor man’s cow die. The older Angel replied: “Things aren’t always as they seem. When we were down in the basement, I saw gold hidden behind the wall, so I patched the hole to hide the fortune away from the greedy owner. Last night, while we were sleeping, I saw the Angel of Death coming for the farmer’s wife. I asked him to take the cow instead.”

When anything unpleasant occurs, it is always very difficult to see the hidden blessings.
The people whose alarms didn’t work - or whose cars broke down - the morning of 9/11, were probably very angry, and didn’t realize their fortune until they heard what happened.
Most often the hidden blessings are something that we will never even recognize for what they are. We may misplace our car keys and spend thirty minutes looking for them. Meanwhile, thanks to that delay we might have missed getting into a traffic accident.
We may be upset because we haven’t been hired for a job position we wanted; yet, if we had, we might have missed a better opportunity that was right around the corner.
As all gifts, blessings come in many packages. Some are very obvious and colorful, while some others are so subtle that we don't even recognize them for what they are.
Each moment in our lives is a perfect moment, whether we do or don’t realize its value. Through our experiences we grow, learn, become better people; for some, the most meaningful gifts have come from the difficult moments they have survived.
As we are reminded by the older Angel, things aren’t always as they seem. Even the worst tragedy may hold the seed of our greatest blessing.

Angels or Demons?

A few days ago, while talking to a friend, I learned that one of her co-workers is hoping to get a new job which she applied for last week.
This lady-I will name her Lauren to maintain her privacy-has held on to the same job for over a decade; although she loves what she does, she feels as if there are no challenges left for her in her current position. In addition to the general feeling of being on a dead-end street when it comes to her professional growth, Lauren has also been having trouble in dealing with a new supervisor in her office.
She has been there for so long that she can attend to her job requirements with eyes closed, yet the supervisor continues to breathe over her neck making her life miserable. When I spoke with her, Lauren readily admitted that the hellish supervisor was the main reason why she set out looking for another job. Had she not been looking, she would have missed the wonderful opportunity of advancement this new position offers, and would have probably chosen to remain in the unrewarding, yet familiar type of work. The figure of the supervisor was a catalyst for the change, and the feelings she triggered in Lauren were the fuel needed to nourish the flame of courage necessary to start her engine.
In our lives we all do that a lot. When blessings come knocking on our door, we often mistake them for a crude joke of destiny. As hard as it to recognize a blessing when it is clad in unpleasant garments, we should always assume that everything happens for a specific reason. We pray for change, yet we get angry and annoyed while the road to our desired wish is being paved.
A few years ago, I read a wonderful book which related the journey of a spiritual Master. One day, the Master was visited by the town drunk, who was belligerent and disrespectful, waiting only for a chance to start an argument. The Holy Man asked him if he could pray for him, and only demanded one favor: from then on, the drunken man would have to accept everything that manifested in his life, whether it was good or bad, without questioning it. After a prayer is sent out, the Holy Man explained, any unfolding event is simply one more step toward achieving one’s heart desire.
If we pray for more financial affluence, a sack of money won’t just appear in the middle of our kitchen table; rather, we may have to lose our present job position to free ourselves from the chains that hold us back, and have the opportunity to find more financially rewarding employment. Similarly, if we ask to become more courageous, or better parents, we may first have to go through the ‘basic training’ of a few unpleasant experiences, before we can develop the attributes we wish for.
All the people we meet, and all the apparent trials we endure hold the potential of helping us become the type of person we want to be. Everything is placed on our path for our greater good, whether we do or don’t recognize its value in the greater scheme of things.
We may not understand why something is happening, but we can’t judge the importance that such an event might have in our life.
Maybe it is time that we all learn that even demons, most often, are nothing more than just angels in disguise.