One Step Closer

“It is not enough to take steps which may some day lead to a goal; each step must be itself a goal and a step likewise.” ~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe


Tidbit published a very inspiring post yesterday, about weight loss. She described how after trying the quick-fix methods with no lasting results she realized she had to change her eating habits completely, and side them with a regular exercise routine. Over the course of time she lost over 240 pounds, an astonishing amount, but the cool thing that struck me most about her post is the fact that by implementing such radical changes of lifestyle, she has accomplished something even greater – she learned that true success is determined by constant goal-setting, and by the self-discipline one develops along the way.

Whenever we face a daunting task – or pretty much any hard decision – the choice we must make is whether we are willing to stick with the longer route of long-term achievements, or if our goal is one of instant gratification.

I do not personally know Tidbit, but I could almost bet that her initial decision probably went through several layers of doubt during the first few weeks, when the budding results were still hard to see. I’m only assuming, so I hope that if I’m wrong Tidbit will correct me. In her place, most would have found it hard to remain focused on the distant goal while the work at hand was so hard and the results so minimal at first. As self-discipline has largely become a thing of the past, and societal pressure toward instant gratification continues to increase, many struggle to keep going unless they can see measurable results almost immediately.

Since long-term achievements can indeed appear scary, we can try to make the road to success a little easier to travel. Naturally, we can stay motivated for brief amounts of time, especially if we can rely on a source of support, so it wouldn’t be too hard – until the results begin to show and become the reward – to set smaller goals under the umbrella of the major goal itself. In the case of weight loss, for example, 240 pounds might seem like an unreachable destination, but it’s easy to wrap one’s mind around losing one or two pounds at a time. Once the smaller goal is achieved, a new one is set, followed by yet another one.

It is wonderful to have a big plan and find the resolve to begin the journey, but we should never forget that every step is getting us a bit closer, even if the destination is still nowhere in sight.

House Guests

“Your own mind is a sacred enclosure into which nothing harmful can enter except by your promotion.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

It is amazing how many of us go to great lengths to ensure that nothing harmful will enter our homes, but we rarely worry about the negative influences that we allow to pass into our minds. Most of us have specific and unique requirements for the people we welcome through our doors – no improper language, no smoking, no muddy shoes on the carpet, no loud talk…the sky is the limit – and if these people go against our wishes when they come in as guests, we have the right to tell them they should modify their behavior. If they don’t, we clearly have the right to ask them to leave.

Access to our minds works the same way. Regardless of how much power we think someone around us might have, they do not own our minds – we do. As hard as it might be to “evict” them, we have the upper hand on the situation, and they cannot remain if we don’t give them permission to stay.

Very often we don’t think we have that power. People and negative thoughts come into our lives and make themselves at home, leading us to think they have the right to tell us how to feel or think. If we don’t push them out the door the moment we notice their presence, they insinuate into the closets of our minds and look for weak, unhealed spots; once they find them, they immediately recognize old hurts as allies and use them as nourishment to grow new seeds of self-doubt.

In order to begin the cleaning process, we must first stop the constant flow of unwanted junk. Once we are stabilized, we can finally concentrate on cleaning out the old which no longer serves us. Keeping out unwanted people and thoughts is easier than it seems. We envision horrible dramas unfolding, and family members and friends who no longer talk to us after we tell them what our expectations are; even worse, we assume we don’t have the strength to keep the intruders at bay, and it will be only a matter of time before they come barging through the door again. In reality, their power is just an illusion, and their tendency to be offended just because we ask for respect only highlights the fact that we don’t need them in our world.

It is okay to invite in people and thoughts different than those we normally entertain, but they should know the moment they walk across the threshold that their input will only be considered and not blindly accepted as unshakable truth. After all, when all is said and done, they come and go and leave us to pick up the pieces alone.

Choose wisely who and what you let in, and never be afraid to reclaim your space as your own. Your name is the only one on the lease agreement.

Daily Vitamins (Repost)

Many people dutifully take vitamins every morning, work out and diet when needed, no matter how time consuming and sacrifice-demanding such steps often are.


The society we live in – one based largely on image and importance of the body – promotes and encourages us to go to great lengths to ensure good health and appearance; but how much time does the average individual invests in mental health and the pursuit of personal happiness?


Research has shown extensively how important it is to remain positive and seek the silver lining.


Let’s imagine that we went for a check-up, and the doctor told us that we need to go on a strict diet for health related reasons; most likely, we would anxiously listen, take the good doctor’s advice, and cut out all the foods that can affect us negatively.


What if that same doctor told us to go on a “mental diet”? Would we cut out all negative thoughts? Or would we just shrug our shoulders and keep living the same old way?


A rigorous mental diet is indeed very hard to follow; if one pays attention, it is amazing how much easier it is for us to pick up negative vibes than positive ones. It is interesting to try it for a day, and attempt to not give in to any negative thoughts for that window of time. It’s much easier to not eat!


The best way to achieve things is to follow the path of least resistance. We get frightened and anxious when facing something which appears paramount, but everybody is probably comfortable taking a few baby steps to learn how to walk.


So, the program is going to be very simple: at night time, before going to bed, let’s try to identify three positive things that happened throughout our day, and analyze briefly why they occurred. They could be extremely small things, such as a stranger smiling warmly, good news regarding someone we love, the chance to finish a book we really enjoy, a cup of exceptional coffee…the list is endless.


As simple as this regimen may appear, it works beautifully. We are used to dismiss simple things as ineffective, as we are conditioned to think that good results can only be achieved through exhausting work, and quality can only be purchased by exorbitant sums of money.


Ultimately, we can look at this exercise as a “mental vitamin”; it won’t cure all ills, but it will certainly ensure that we are taking steps toward improved health and renewed happiness.