Not A Moment Too Soon

“Life is all about timing…the unreachable becomes reachable, the unavailable becomes available, and the unattainable becomes attainable. Have the patience, wait it out; it’s all about timing.” ~ Stacey Charter

While I was driving, yesterday, I noticed a small fly on my car window. It walked the length and width of the glass several times, occasionally stopping as if to think of a new plan of action. Suddenly, it took off from the glass and flew around the car for a while, just to land back on the same spot.

I knew that if I opened the window while the car was in motion the rush of air would have simply pushed it back, so I waited until I found a red light. I lowered the glass slowly and waited for fly to walk up toward the rim, then, opened it completely and watched the tiny insect fly off to live the rest of its destiny.

I wonder what the fly felt in those few moments, as it looked for a way out when none seemed available. Freedom appeared near, yet no matter how hard it tried to get out, no effort seemed good enough. Until the timing for release was right - although the fly was ready to go the moment it spotted the light outside the glass, all other conditions were not optimal at that time.

In the greater scheme of things, as we go through life we are not too different than the tiny fly in my car. We see the things we would like to achieve but feel something out of our control is stopping us from getting there; we convince ourselves that poor luck or outside occurrences are to blame for our lack of achievement, but rarely realize that what we wish may be eluding us simply because the timing is off.

I remember thinking that once, when as a child I had gone to visit one of my mother’s aunts who had an apricot tree. It appeared to me that every time we went the fruits were never ripe enough to pick, but it wasn’t the tree’s fault – we were simply going too early in the season. The tree had to first awaken in the spring, the leaves had to form on the branches, the flowers had to blossom, and finally they had to turn into fruits. Even after the whole metamorphosis, more time was needed for the fruits to ripen. It wasn’t bad luck, or lack of ability – it was just too early for the apricots to be ready.

When something seems to be resisting our efforts, and we have already done what we could to get things in motion, continuing to bang on a dead door will not bring in any quicker results; if anything, it will add to our frustration, as everything follows an order of things that is not for us to determine. Although shadowed by the things we consider more important, there are plenty of things in or daily routine that can use our direct attention. Focusing on those seemingly less important tasks or goals frees our minds from the anxiety associated with waiting, and allows us to take a brief mental vacation.

There is a time for everything, largely outside of our individual control. What is truly important is that we don’t give up on what is important to us. We must continue to hope and know that good things come to those who wait – just not always in the time they have erroneously chosen.

What Might Have Been

“It is never too late to be what you might have been.” ~ George Eliot

It is never too late. I can’t recall how many times I heard that phrase growing up. I believe it must have been my parents’ favorite thing to say, because it seemed to follow every sentence they uttered each time my sister and I worried about something.

Indeed, no matter how many mistakes one has made, or how many times things have gone wrong, or opportunities have missed their chance to manifest, luck, circumstances and attitudes can always take a sudden turn.

I once read of a lady who had always wanted to go to college, but never had the means when she was young. Being the oldest of eight children, she was, at first, too busy helping her mother raise her younger siblings; after that she married and started a family of her own.

When her husband died she was nearly seventy-five years of age, and her children had all grown and moved out. It was time for her to decide what she was going to do with the years she had left – for once in her life she had no one to be responsible for but herself. If she looked back to the days of her youth, her only regret was to not have received a college education. So she decided to make up for that.

She enrolled at the local university - although family and friends tried to discourage her plans - and for the next four years she diligently took all the credit courses she needed to graduate in business management. By the time she graduated she was seventy-nine, but she proudly posed for photos on her big day.

She was never able to put her skills to use, since she was too old for employment and died just a few weeks short of her eightieth birthday, but for almost a whole year she lived knowing she had crowned her dream of being a college graduate.

Some of our ambitions may be more modest than those of the lady who graduated, but if they are important to us they are worth pursuing. We may not achieve the full extent of our dreams, but can be creative as we try to get close to the original idea.

I’ve always believed that where there is a will there’s a way, and as long as our plans do not harm anyone on the path to being fulfilled, we shouldn’t hold back or tell ourselves it is too late. And maybe what we might have been can still become who we are.