A Moment in Time

"Before my accidents, there were ten thousands things I could do. I could spend the rest of my life dwelling on the things I had lost, but instead I chose to focus on the nine thousand I still had left.” ~ W. Mitchell

During a conversation with a friend, yesterday, I was surprised to hear how deeply he dwells on the very things he claims to despise in his life. Although the past couple of years have been a bit hard for him, he is certainly not in a desperate position.

One of the things that piqued my interest in the conversation was the fact that he felt his lack of good fortune was everlasting, while the good moments seemed to pass in the blink of an eye. When I shared some personal good news, his first reaction was: “make sure you enjoy those moments, because they pass too fast. Only the bad ones last.”

That really got me thinking. Is it true - as he assumes - that good moments are the exception rather than the norm? Could it be that “bad” moments seem more intense and longer lasting because we actually engage in them? When something less than desirable crosses our path we dive into the pain and discomfort of it head first. Before long, we become almost totally absorbed by the very situation we despise, and employ a large part of our day thinking about it. Feeling the pain or the anger becomes our main focus.

When things are well, we greatly ignore them, and go through the motions of our day feeling nothing special is going on. In reality, each day we are alive, pain-free, fed and safe, is a day we have been blessed. If you have a problem with this concept, wait until the next time you are in pain, and see what you would pay to feel the way you do when you think you are having a normal day.

When everything is okay we don’t produce as high an emotional response as we do when something is wrong, so moments tend to go by unobserved and unlived. When something goes wrong, the emotional force we feel is almost overwhelming – we can feel our discomfort; we can taste it and hear it in our own words. Most of all, we live it moment by moment, as if afraid that by losing touch with it we’ll waste our opportunity to validate our lack of happiness.

It is possible to invert the two. It is feasible to jumpstart a positive emotional charge by looking for an element of fun in situations, regardless of how dire they appear. It is also acceptable to acknowledge a negative situation without getting married to it.

Ultimately, life is no different than a card game. Luck – or lack of - may have an impact, but learning how to play the game will certainly improve our chances of winning.

Beating the Odds

“Our first journey is to find that special place for us.” ~ Earl Nightingale

Yesterday was a very special day for us, as we brought home a new member of our family. His name is Wick, and he is a tiny, eight-week-old black kitten.

Aside from the suspicious stares he received from Wizard, our resident cat, Wick’s homecoming was glorious – the kids were tickled to death and even my husband warmed up to him quite quickly.

In the midst of all the excitement, only one tiny cloud of sadness lingered in the air. When Wick was taken to the shelter, a couple of weeks ago, he and his brother Noir stuck together like glue. The lady who fostered them both said they were inseparable and suffered separation anxieties when pulled apart to be examined. We all started thinking about his brother, and felt kind of sad that we were not able to bring them home together.

Wick, formerly Midnight, has found a home where he will grow happy and healthy – will his brother have the same fortune, or will he end as a nameless adult cat in a shelter that most will bypass and won’t adopt? I suppose we will never know.

When we are born, we are dealt a hand of cards that will decide how the game will unfold. Certainly, if we learn good playing skills, our chances of winning will increase, but part of our success is a mere strike of luck. When they woke up this morning, the two kittens didn’t know of the chain of events that was going to take place within a few hours. They woke and played; they ate, napped and played some more; all of these actions were performed together; yet, tonight, their lives took different paths.

As much as we like to assume that life is a game we can control, part of the play remains unknown, and greatly relies on having faith in the final outcome.

It is a sad reality that many of the animals at the shelters will never find homes, but it is also true that each person walking through the door has the potential of becoming one of their humans. We can never give up hope, as we don’t know who or what is waiting around the corner. We could be disappointed ten times, or even twenty, but the twenty-first time could be the one which will turn our lives around.

It’s good to know, at least, that we have just as many chances to be happy as we have of being let down. And those are wonderful odds.


(I will be leaving this afternoon for Wilmington and will be gone until Sunday night, so there will be no blog posts the next two mornings. Have a happy weekend, everybody, and I will see you back on Monday. )