The Tree That Was Upside Down

“Flowers always sprout from seeds protected by the darkness of the earth.” ~ Author Unknown


Yesterday, a friend sent me a beautiful picture via e-mail. It depicted a person standing by a very large tree, under the moonlight; the tree was mirrored on a body of water in front of it. Although I was instantly stunned by the breathtaking beauty of the photo, something about it caught my eye in particular – the top of the tree was the lowest point of the mirrored image.

For decades now, it has been speculated that our outside world is but a mirrored reflection of our inner world, and that the real self lives beyond our consciousness and observes our daily experiences to learn from them. If that’s indeed how things work, and we compare the picture of the two trees to our dual selves – inner and outer – then the tree and the body of water would be equal to our inner reality, and the mirrored reflection would represent what we see and manifest in the outside world. In this case, what we consider the “lowest” part of the reflected image is in fact the highest part of the real tree.

When we apply the same analogy to life occurrences, it is easy to see how the lowest and darkest moments in our lives can often be the highest points our spirit can reach. Our soul is not affected by greed, fear, pride or doubt, and it evolves whenever we learn a lesson in humility, compassion, forgiveness, or unconditional love even if we struggle through the process of learning.

When life doesn’t indulge our illusion of control, we can choose to take one of two possible paths – we either understand the meaning of what’s truly important, or we bury ourselves even deeper into a self-dug, ego-induced grave. Either way - and whether we realize the value of our experience or not - our soul learns from the choices we make. Thus, the lowest point in our lives IS the highest point our spirit can achieve, and our darkest moments are often a shortcut to see the light.

Just as flowers couldn’t sprout if left on the surface of the earth to dry in the sun, our spiritual awareness would not prosper if we were never left in the dark.

Reflections

People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within. - Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

From the time they are born, humans need interaction with one another. Many studies have shown that children who lacked bonding with at least a caregiver during the first years of life have a greater tendency of developing sociopathic traits during their adult life.

Regardless of how much or little attention any of us are given, we mold our lives in response to our environment. Others dictate our self-image and worth by mechanically feeding our needs of confirmation.

Life appears easy for those who seem to have it all – looks, money, success - yet, many of these people aren’t happy. They become so accustomed to associating their self-worth and identity with the positive feedback they receive while riding the crest that if anything happens – or threatens to happen – to mar the assets they are loved for, they take a nose dive into self-pity, and they struggle to merely survive. Hollywood and music stars often stumble into the same trap. They are repeatedly told how gorgeous, talented and powerful they are, but when age or a different trend in their sector threaten their future popularity they become overwhelmed and seek solace in numbing substances.

Real people’s lives are no different. Many of us measure our worth against a superficial scale and if something comes along to undermine the identity we have built we are likely to become anxious and depressed. It is easy to feel wonderful when everything runs smooth, and people feed us positive energy. Nobody is more agreeable than the person everyone agrees with and adores.

But what happens when the going gets tough and, suddenly, the outside feed is suspended? Many will go to extremes, and morph in such ways that will ensure their energetic survival. They learn how to thrive on positive and negative energy alike, and they will associate to people they perceive stronger to appear more likeable.

Being in good terms with our inner person is essential if one chooses to be happy. True acceptance needs to initiate inside of us, not outside. Love from others will come once we have become comfortable with loving ourselves and enjoying our own company.

Love is the glue that keeps us connected to others and to ourselves, but before we can reach out to others - or hope that others will reach out to us - we must extend that hand to ourselves.

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall...

Very often, the person staring back at us when we look in the mirror is someone who’s been painted in our minds with the colors of personal experiences, and stroked by the brush of external opinions.
Many of us take pride in declaring we are immune from the negative perceptions of others, but are we being entirely truthful with ourselves? Since early childhood, we strongly rely on the opinion other people – mostly those we love- have of us, to help us bring our own inner image into focus. We revel in compliments which make us feel good, and cringe when others make us feel less than perfect. My daughter, for one, sees a princess every time she looks in the mirror. I’m not just saying that, mind you; she really, really does. Since birth, everybody has been telling her how sweet, pretty and good she is; in her child’s mind only princesses are sweet, pretty and good, thus, the only image of herself she can come up with is that of a princess.
We often hear of victims of abuse who see an ugly person when they stare into the mirror; in reality, some of them are really beautiful, but their broken spirit is preventing them from seeing the truth; the only image they can perceive is that of an ugly person looking back. The same can be said for individuals afflicted by eating disorders; the image staring back at them is simply a twisted reflection, deeply distorted by insecurity and fear.
The majority of the triggers which affect our self-image are planted in our minds early on; some sneak in through subliminal suggestions, but most of them are implanted, directly or indirectly, by our caregivers. We often associate goodness and worth with beauty, so if we have been made to feel not so good or unworthy we seldom see ourselves as attractive.
Once that original picture is published and stored within the archives of our mind’s screen, it is very hard to delete it and replace it with a nicer image. Even when people compliment us for our good looks, we skeptically look for excuses to undermine their opinion, and label it as non-reliable.
A simple way to replace the unwanted photo is to realize that it is possible we are seeing a distorted image. If we analyze closely the attitudes of the people who influenced us most while growing up, we will probably see that we are trying to reconfirm the image they had of us, and playing it over and over in our minds to see if they were, indeed, correct.
Our lives trickle through the limits which were imposed on us as children. By writing off some of those limits, and recognizing them for what they are - a faulty perception developed and planted by others - we can erase the board and draw a new outline. Maybe, then, the person in the mirror will finally smile back for the first time.