The Teacher Who Came Dresses as a Monster

“A great teacher is like a candle – it consumes itself to light the way for others.” ~ Author unknown


A few months ago, I read somewhere that the two greatest teachers of compassion the world has ever seen are Hitler and the Dalai Lama. Being a huge fan of the Dalai Lama but personally not too sold on Hitler, this statement struck me as strange – how could anyone compare a holy man whose life purpose is to spread peace and compassion, to a military figure whose intent seemed to be one fed by hatred?

The question hovered around my thoughts the whole day, until that night when one of my children misbehaved, and I had no choice left but punish him by not letting him attend an event he had his heart set on. Now, if you were a fly in my house, you would know that my two boys argue over anything under the sun, and sometimes even about something above it; any chance they have to get the other in trouble they jump on it like a cowboy on a horse. But, this time, one brother had gotten in trouble all on his own, with no trickery necessary, so the natural order of things was upset.

Suddenly, one would have thought that I had given an innocent man a death sentence – not just one kid was mad at me…they all were, including Morgan who normally gets stumped by her big brothers and thrives on seeing them get what they deserve! Never had I seen so much love and compassion among my kids as I saw that night – they talked kindly to one another, and went overboard with small pleasantries that were, until that fateful day, a mother’s wishful thinking.

That’s when the meaning of that statement made it home. Certainly Hitler and the Dalai Lama are very different people, and they affect others in their own unique ways, but the teaching behind their actions is similar in the end – one inspired the world to feel compassionate toward people who had suffered from his heinous acts, while the other inspired his followers to be compassionate because compassion is part of the truth our collective soul must embrace.

We are conditioned to think of a teacher as someone who will lead through knowledge and wisdom alone, but sometimes teachers come masked in strange clothes. And, oddly enough, we tend to learn more, and much more quickly, since our attention is instantly seized from explosive events and actions. It might take us a lifetime to learn to appreciate a sunrise, or a kind smile, but if we find out our days are threatened by illness, that awareness will surface with light speed, as we feel we don’t have any time to lose.

Before going to bed that night, I thought again about the comparison between the two men, and about my children instantly pulling together after one was “too harshly” punished. In my children’s situation, anger and resentment toward the external force that had thrown one of their own into the dungeon, had caused them to choose love over sibling rivalry. I closed my eyes, feeling satisfied; though in their eyes I had momentarily morphed into Hitler, they had embraced the qualities of the Dalai Lama I admire so much. Only for one evening, mind you, but that was good enough for me.


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Two Sides to One Coin (repost)

A few years ago I ran into a book I normally would not have considered reading. It was a biography of sorts, describing the life of a Holy man. What I thought was going to be a very boring read turned out to be a very illuminating work, which really gave me chewable food for thought.

In one of the chapters, the Holy man was visited, one day, by the town drunk; as everyone expected – being the infamous derelict that he was – the man walked in showing no respect, and began his verbal lashing in a very loud fashion. After spewing hateful words, and displaying an unwarranted angry behavior, the drunken man was about to turn on his heels and leave again. The Holy man smiled, thanked him for coming and told him to come back any time. At this juncture, all the believers in the room were puzzled, and asked the Holy man if he knew who the hateful fellow was. The Holy man only smiled, then whispered softly: “Yes, he is the most loving man I’ve ever met. He just hasn’t met that part of himself yet.”

Needless to say, this chapter had me thinking for days. Was the Holy man delusional? Was he so enshrouded in the light of Spirit that he couldn’t tell the difference between a spiritual being and a heavenly reject? Or was the Holy man so wise in his assessment that he could see something that was obviously eluding me?

I started watching angry people with different eyes, hoping to get a clear picture of what the wise man was talking about. What I saw the next several months knocked my socks off. Most of the angry people out there really were only lost to themselves, roaming around unhappily and hoping to connect somehow.

Anger is an emotion. To trigger anger one must be open to feelings. Most angry people are simply very sensitive people who are afraid and put up an intimidating shield to stop people from getting too close. Someone told me once that if you can feel one emotion you are already familiar with its opposite - the twin, the other side of the coin. The two are at odds with each other, and always present at the same time; if one can be triggered, so can the other.

I began to test the waters anytime I met anyone who appeared angry and despondent. I would argue with them a little, just to trigger the one side of emotions they were most comfortable and familiar with; once they became angry, I would switch my response and expose them to the twin feeling while they were riding the peak of the opposite wave. The results were astounding. Fire cannot be put out with more fire, but only with its opposite. Opposites defuse and neutralize one another, creating a new stage of play.

And for those who wonder whatever happened to the drunken man in the book, he went back to see the Holy man several times; with each visit, his anger diminished a bit more and he was able to open up and listen, rather than lash out at every word the teacher uttered. Soon, he became his most faithful follower, and remained with the Holy man until his teacher’s death many years later.