Birthday Reflections

Somebody had observed that they would like to read something about me and what I have accomplished, rather than always reading the stories I write about community and others.
I figured this would be a day as good as any others; maybe better, even, since today is my birthday. Yep, I am a ripe 39 today, and totally happy with it.
Really, there is not much about my life.
I moved to the States from Italy in November 1988 following a puppy love, and Raleigh has since been my home. My husband was in the military in Pisa, Italy, when we met.
I suppose language was my greatest challenge. When I met John (my husband) at the beach, I had bought a cassette course in English, and worked my behind off to learn as much as I could so that we could communicate.
When we got married and I moved here it was yet more challenging. The language learned on cassettes and the colorful spoken treasure of the south were two beasts unknown to each other.
Yet, I was determined. I read everything I could get my hands on, and tried to talk to as many people as possible, even making a fool of myself at times, when they could not understand me, or I couldn't understand them.
Since I left Italy right after High School, I decided to attend NC State. At the time, I also had to work full time, to make ends meet, so those years were so busy that they are almost blurred in my mind.
John and I worked and saved. We bought a small house, had one child. Then, we started a business, bought a bigger house and had two more children.
Meanwhile, I spent my free (few!) hours writing. Writing had always been my innermost passion from the heart, but I didn't feel confident enough to really go public with it yet.
As my kids got a bit older, I found I had more time on my hands; the business was pretty settled, my husband always at work, and my children always busy.
So, I wrote a novel. Just for fun. Just to pass time. When it was completed I let a few friends read it and they liked it. They suggested I try to publish it but I waved them off.
By then, however, they had planted the seed. I started thinking about publishing my work, and began looking for a literary agent. I was rejected more times than I care to count, mostly because I had no other writing credit, so even then, I have to credit my stubborness for continuing.
Finally, in May of this year I signed up with a literary agent.
By then I had two books under my belt, so we began working together toward finalizing both projects.
Both books were just announced yesterday on Publishers Markeplace, and also sent to several publishers, so now I am obviously keeping my fingers and toes crossed!
I guess that's all there is to me.
On a more personal note, I was raised in an average family, and everyone has always been very supportive of me. I grew up in a very spiritual environment, and most of the rules I live by today are the very same rules I learned when I was a child. I try to live my life in peace, respecting myself and others. That said, I have had challenges just like everyone else, but my deep spiritual faith has been the glue which has always kept me together.
Today, my time is shared between raising my children, who are now 13, 10 and almost 4, writing, talking to people about spiritual stuff, and helping my husband out in his business from time to time.
So, this is my life. It is not glamorous, or anything special to the eyes of the world, but it's a life that has been good to me, and I am thankful every time I open my eyes to a new day.

Learning From Our Children

I think everyone agrees that children teach us many lessons.
Through them we learn the meaning of true love, patience and tolerance. One thing that’s certain, life with children is never dull.
One of my sons had struggled a bit with OCD, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, while growing up. For those who don’t know, OCD is a condition which is mild enough to not really qualify as a disease, yet it causes quite a bit of discomfort, as the person affected is obsessed in repeating things until they get them perfectly. It could be categorized as a more severe case of nervous tics, and is often confused with Turrette Syndrome. During the time we tried to get this condition under control – until my son was old enough to learn how to control certain impulses – he was very uncomfortable with it, as he felt compelled to indulge certain mechanical actions repeatedly and was having difficulties at school because of it, both academically and socially.
Today, Michael no longer struggles with OCD. Time and therapy have worked their magic, and he is now in full control. The tics are gone, and the uncomfortable impulses toward achieving sheer perfection are a thing of the past.
Yet, that brief brush with OCD served a purpose in Michael’s life and, by extension, in the lives of the people close to him.
About a week ago, we were sitting in the kitchen having a cup of tea after Michael got home from school, and we were talking about all the things that had happened in his day.
He told me about a new child who just came to the school, and said that he feels bad for him because the new kid is different and others make fun of him. I asked why he felt the child was different, and Michael said that he “makes strange noises and odd faces”. He spoke about the times he has seen this kid sitting alone and people whispering around, snickering, and related this situation to the time in his life when he felt embarrassed around friends who made fun of him because of his condition. But what truly opened my heart was when Michael sat there, cup of tea in hand and big, blue eyes opened wide to convey a stronger message, and said that he might not feel so bad about this if he hadn’t experienced being ridiculed himself because of something he could not help.
Michael’s condition taught him compassion, and opened his eyes to the fact that one has to walk a mile in someone else’s shoes, sometimes, to truly understand how others feel.
He understood that it is very painful to be shunned and made fun of, and also realized that some things can be overcome.
Since that conversation, Michael and the new child have become friends, and I am sure that this friendship will teach good things to both of them in the long run.
When talking about his future, Michael has always said he would like to be a song writer, but he has now added a new idea. He mentioned that he would like to work in mental health care.
No matter what his future choices will be, I know he will be the best he can be at whatever he does.
And I know he will make a difference in someone’s life because, at a very young age, he found the key to the door of compassion.

Political Ambidexterity: Appreciating the Gray in Between

The fight is on. Whether it’s through vitriol-laced convention speeches or through innuendos and blatant accusations in campaign ads, both sides of the political race focus more on the shortcomings of the opponent than on personal merits.

These past few days –especially since Palin was introduced as the GOP VP choice – well- articulated poisoned arrows have been grazing the skies above.

Both parties have been highly acclaimed and endorsed by their own, and have been heavily criticized by the opponents.

Stating ahead that I am not particularly led by politics, I have to put in my ten cents: where is the candidate who can stand on his or her own merits, without having to dig trash and rely on harvesting votes by mudding the image of their opponent?

As with everything else, we base politics and religion on black and white. If one candidate is good in our eyes, then the other one has to be bad.

Personally, I find the good and bad in both parties, and in both candidates. And it is okay. I respect the traditional values of the GOP, as for some things I am old-school myself. I believe in family unity and in good moral standards. On the other side of the coin, I admire the more embracing views or the Democratic Party, as I feel that if we all have to dance in the same ballroom we might as well learn how to dance together, rather than stepping on each other’s toes.

Ultimately, the main goal is to create an agenda which will benefit the nation, but we seem to have forgotten that, and have turned yet another upcoming election into a paramount soap opera.

Political ambidexterity is truly what we need. We need someone who can lead by the example of his or her own actions, who can embrace pressing issues from all sides and see the gray between black and white. Most of all, we need to stop the childish competition and come together as one nation focused on bringing on changes that can benefit ALL.

One hand cannot do all the work, that’s why we were born with two. And if politically the two hands can shake each other rather than wasting energy in slapping, maybe, just maybe, we can hope to get somewhere.

Of course, just my ten cents.