Showing posts with label schedules. Show all posts
Showing posts with label schedules. Show all posts

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

A Delightful Captivity



The past few days I’ve been in captivity. Being the hybrid product of a Mediterranean upbringing and southern life, I can’t drive on snow or ice; even if the main roads are by now fairly passable, my subdivision is still frozen stiff, and the kids and I are stuck at home until the big thaw.

When I first looked at the weather forecast a couple of days ago, the outlook was a dark shade of gray graduating to pitch black – temperatures rising barely above freezing during the day, and down in the teens at night were going to ensure snow on the ground for a while. For once in my life I thought that hibernation sounded mighty good.

Today is day five of my captivity in the prison I share with a few other inmates – my kids and my pets – and I can only say one thing about it all…I’ve had a blast! When I thought about it last night, I feared that cabin fever had fatally led to sheer madness, but when I reflected a little more, I understood the reason why I felt so elated.

Although I can hardly get anything done, and I spend the days either playing Candyland or reading, I can’t be expected to go anywhere, and my load of social demands has been dramatically cut in half. When we ran out of juice yesterday morning, my sons’ typical mantra would have been “Mom, are you going to the store today?” Knowing that I can’t drive anywhere, nobody even asked the question and they happily settled for water to drink. Same with driving kids around all over town; I’m sure that all mothers of teenagers can relate – we spend a great portion of our days running from place to place, from one activity to the next, until the car can almost drive itself if only given a hint of where we are going. But not the past few days…everyone was content just with sitting at home and playing in the snow. What a foreign feeling it has been to face four whole days with no schedule! And what a pleasant one, I might add.

Just the other day I was reading a discussion a few people on a different site were having about freedom. When we speak of freedom, we often focus on the restrictions experienced by individuals and countries alike. We criticize communist countries for the lack of freedom their citizens have to endure; we condemn the oppression some individuals have experienced in the past, and we constantly hear about American freedom versus the sense of freedom which exists in other societies. We can speak our minds, and we can choose our beliefs; we are free to go to school and we are encouraged to protect our civil liberties, but in the greater scheme of things, are we really free?

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, the following are two definitions of freedom: a : the absence of necessity, coercion, or constraint in choice or action. b : the quality or state of being exempt or released from something onerous.

Certainly, we have the choice of being free at all times, but if one looks closely at the tenets of our western societies, we will realize we are not free at all. We might not have a sword or a gun pointed at us, but more times than none we run around in circles to meet all the demands of our daily lives. And if, Heaven forbid, something can’t fit into the tight space between one demand and the next one, we feel that we have let others and ourselves down. We run and run toward no specific destination, glad to have made it a day and already fretting about the demands of the days ahead. In itself, that’s not freedom.

The solitude and forced captivity of the past few days have taught me something important – we can only fit so much into one day, and what doesn’t get done before nightfall will still be there waiting for us tomorrow. And if for one day we need to let someone down for not meeting THEIR expectation, then oh well…at least we got to play Candyland.

Monday, October 12, 2009

Are You a Fire Starter or a Fire Keeper?

If someone could peer at the traffic in my mind when I first awaken, they would be amazed there aren’t any accidents. It’s like ideas start getting in queue when I first fall asleep and patiently wait in line until the door of my consciousness opens again. The moment my eyes open, the torrential rush of thoughts begins, and if it was up to me, I’d move cities and mountains just in that first hour. Thankfully for me, one of the most important people I work with – Dena, my soul sister, consulting editor and PR person - is driven by a symbiotic type of energy and never sleeps.

My husband is quite the opposite. Although he rises early because of work related reasons, he would happily sleep in if he could, and it takes him a little while to really warm up to the day ahead. Once he is completely awake, he gets into an even and methodical set of routines which allow him to keep everything in balance. He gladly takes the ball and guards it until he can get it safely to the other side of the field; if anyone gets in his way before he has completed his task they do so at their own risk.

We have always agreed that I am a fire starter, and he’s a fire keeper – entirely different types of fuel propel us forward, but both are equally important in the final equation. I come up with a lot of the initial ideas, and he provides the means to manifest them into reality and keep them going. I have always been quite lucky to be surrounded by very capable fire keepers, who are able to take the flame and tend to its growth and existence, especially when my focus has already sped toward the next goal.

Most of us fall into one of the two categories, and struggle to keep up with the other side of things. In my case, for example, I love to write, but I’d rather shoot my own feet than edit my own writing. I see the story in my head like a film playing on a screen, and I transfer the images on paper in a very short time, but I couldn’t achieve the same results without Dena’s irreplaceable skills of dissecting my first draft and turning it into a story other people can also watch in their minds. Fact is that it is not important to fit both shoes, as long as we can let go of control and allow others to step in and pick up where we left off.

Feeling guilty for not being able to do both hinders our creativity in both directions. Once we understand what our strength is, there is no need to waste time or energy on our weaknesses. If we focus our attention on what we do best, and allow others to shine through the light of their own abilities, the fusion of skills can only lead to mutual success.

What about you? Are you a fire starter or a fire keeper?