A Delightful Captivity

The past few days I’ve been in captivity. Being the hybrid product of a Mediterranean upbringing and southern life, I can’t drive on snow or ice; even if the main roads are by now fairly passable, my subdivision is still frozen stiff, and the kids and I are stuck at home until the big thaw.

When I first looked at the weather forecast a couple of days ago, the outlook was a dark shade of gray graduating to pitch black – temperatures rising barely above freezing during the day, and down in the teens at night were going to ensure snow on the ground for a while. For once in my life I thought that hibernation sounded mighty good.

Today is day five of my captivity in the prison I share with a few other inmates – my kids and my pets – and I can only say one thing about it all…I’ve had a blast! When I thought about it last night, I feared that cabin fever had fatally led to sheer madness, but when I reflected a little more, I understood the reason why I felt so elated.

Although I can hardly get anything done, and I spend the days either playing Candyland or reading, I can’t be expected to go anywhere, and my load of social demands has been dramatically cut in half. When we ran out of juice yesterday morning, my sons’ typical mantra would have been “Mom, are you going to the store today?” Knowing that I can’t drive anywhere, nobody even asked the question and they happily settled for water to drink. Same with driving kids around all over town; I’m sure that all mothers of teenagers can relate – we spend a great portion of our days running from place to place, from one activity to the next, until the car can almost drive itself if only given a hint of where we are going. But not the past few days…everyone was content just with sitting at home and playing in the snow. What a foreign feeling it has been to face four whole days with no schedule! And what a pleasant one, I might add.

Just the other day I was reading a discussion a few people on a different site were having about freedom. When we speak of freedom, we often focus on the restrictions experienced by individuals and countries alike. We criticize communist countries for the lack of freedom their citizens have to endure; we condemn the oppression some individuals have experienced in the past, and we constantly hear about American freedom versus the sense of freedom which exists in other societies. We can speak our minds, and we can choose our beliefs; we are free to go to school and we are encouraged to protect our civil liberties, but in the greater scheme of things, are we really free?

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, the following are two definitions of freedom: a : the absence of necessity, coercion, or constraint in choice or action. b : the quality or state of being exempt or released from something onerous.

Certainly, we have the choice of being free at all times, but if one looks closely at the tenets of our western societies, we will realize we are not free at all. We might not have a sword or a gun pointed at us, but more times than none we run around in circles to meet all the demands of our daily lives. And if, Heaven forbid, something can’t fit into the tight space between one demand and the next one, we feel that we have let others and ourselves down. We run and run toward no specific destination, glad to have made it a day and already fretting about the demands of the days ahead. In itself, that’s not freedom.

The solitude and forced captivity of the past few days have taught me something important – we can only fit so much into one day, and what doesn’t get done before nightfall will still be there waiting for us tomorrow. And if for one day we need to let someone down for not meeting THEIR expectation, then oh well…at least we got to play Candyland.

A Prison of Our Own

“We are imprisoned in the realm of life, like a sailor on his tiny boat, on an infinite ocean.” ~ Anna Freud



The other day I joined a friend for lunch and we discussed a ministry she is involved with at the prison. When we spoke of some of the women there, and agreed that we all share a collective soul beneath the upper crust of different life circumstances, my friend simply said: “After all, aren’t we all imprisoned to some extent?”

Her words gave me food for thought. Although many of us will thankfully never know the hardship of being physically confined, being imprisoned within the invisible walls of our own weaknesses can be just as daunting.

None of us are ever completely free. We are limited by societal rules, by financial constraints, by faulty perceptions, and by the fears and doubts that often impact our lives. One of our downfalls is that we think too much – although rational thinking is appropriate for some situations, too much of a good thing is not always beneficial.

We tend to second-guess ourselves even when we have taken good decisions, and rarely realize that in some instances “being” is better than thinking. We function through the perceptions of others, and unless we can adhere to an “acceptable” standard of living, we fail in our own minds. It is so easy to get wrapped up into the illusion of right and wrong that we often forget to check with our inner guide to decide if we are on the right path or if we need to change our course of action.

Some are even imprisoned by the image they have forged for themselves, and truly struggle to detach from it, in fear of losing their whole identity. I could be listing a whole lot of things – some organized religions, appearances, lifestyles, poverty, health issues, past pain and political affiliations can also pose limits to the expression of our inner selves, but we are scared let them go in fear of losing control over their circumstances.

It makes little difference if the bars are made of sturdy metal or limiting thoughts – until we realize we hold the key, our lives will never experience the warm sunshine filtering through the windows of our soul.

Boundaries of Our Freedom (repost)

“Your freedom stops where other people’s freedom starts”. ~Don D. Battaglini


This simple sentence stuck with me like glue since the first time I heard it, back when I was seven years old, during Bible study. I don’t think Don Battaglini ever realized the impact his words had on his young pupils, but I can still remember that moment as if it took place yesterday.

Don Battaglini was one of those priests who don’t come by very often. I remember him as always being old; hair as white as snow, deep-set, soft brown eyes, and the strong voice of a tenor. He never indulged nonsense, but he was ALWAYS available for important issues. The day he uttered those words was one of those winter days that never seem to draw to an end. It was raining out, and I can still recall the sound of the rain drops rhythmically hitting the window pane. It was one of those days that truly deserve the label of “boring”.

Then, I heard those words and they changed my young life. From that moment on, every time I thought about doing anything, I always wondered if I was intruding in someone else’s freedom, and more times than one those very same words saved me from overstepping my boundaries.

We are free to make choices, but so are other people. We have the right to voice our opinion, but we must acknowledge that other people have opinions, too. We may choose a certain type of lifestyle, but we must mind the fact that, although we are free to decide how we live, we must allow others the space they need to live out their own choices.

So, where is the fine line between our freedom and that of others?

Ultimately, the best rule to follow is the old golden one: “Don’t do unto others as you wouldn’t want done unto you”. And again, it is about walking a mile into someone else’s shoes.

We have the right to have a party with our friends, but we would not like for someone else to wake us up from a sound sleep; maybe, we can try to keep things down a bit, or at least let our neighbors know of our plans. Most people, if warned ahead, will be amenable to accommodating different things. If we love to drink, then we shouldn’t drive or be obnoxious. Although we have the right to enjoy a drink, people have the freedom to live out their life. If we are fervidly religious, we should be thankful that God is so prominent in our lives, yet we should not push our beliefs unto others who have the freedom to not believe, or believe something else.

We are here all together, all participants in the great field trip on earth that life is. We can make our journey a little more pleasant by just showing a little respect; both toward ourselves and others. Maybe then, we will learn to fight a little less, love a little more, and really be free.