Hidden Blessings

Some of you might be aware that my 12-year-old son is now on his fourth day trying to leave Italy and get back home. Because of flight delays and cancellations which have made it impossible for him to make his connection, and given that he is an unaccompanied minor, the airline has refused until today to board him until they were sure he could have proper supervision during layovers. This situation has caused everyone a lot of frustration, but in the end, we will never know if all he went through happened for a reason unknown to us. When I mentioned that to someone, yesterday, they said: ‘Well, the flight he was initially scheduled to be on reached destination without incidents, so I can’t imagine what the reason would be.”


Truth is that things aren’t always what they seem. Yes, the flight arrived – even if late -- but what if we had gone somewhere after his arrival and something happened then? Of course, that’s just a supposition, but I deeply believe that many situations are averted every day without us even knowing. When anything unpleasant occurs, it is always very difficult to see the hidden blessings. The people whose alarms didn’t work - or whose cars broke down - the morning of 9/11, were probably very angry, and didn’t realize their fortune until they heard what happened. We may misplace our car keys and spend thirty minutes looking for them. Meanwhile, thanks to that delay we might have missed getting into a traffic accident. We may be upset because we haven’t been hired for a job position we wanted; yet, if we had, we might have missed a better opportunity that was right around the corner. Going through this ordeal reminded me of a story someone e-mailed me some time ago, so I am including it in this post.


“Two angels were traveling the country, occasionally seeking food and shelter during their journey. They came upon a very poor farm, and asked for shelter. The farmer and his wife shared the little food they had, and offered their bed so the tired strangers could sleep comfortably. Early after the sun had risen, the two Angels were awakened by the farmer and his wife weeping. Their only cow, whose milk was their sole wealth, had died during the night. The younger Angel became angry, and asked the older spirit why he would let this poor man’s cow die. The older Angel replied: “Things aren’t always as they seem. When we were down in the basement, I saw gold hidden behind the wall, so I patched the hole to hide the fortune away from the greedy owner. Last night, while we were sleeping, I saw the Angel of Death coming for the farmer’s wife. I asked him to take the cow instead.” ~Author unknown


As all gifts, blessings come in many packages. Some are very obvious and colorful, while some others are so subtle that we don't even recognize them for what they are.
Each moment in our lives is a perfect moment, whether we do or don’t realize its value. Through our experiences we grow, learn, become better people; for some, the most meaningful gifts have come from the difficult moments they have survived.
As we are reminded by the older Angel, things aren’t always as they seem. Even the worst tragedy or the most annoying occurrence may hold the seed of our greatest blessing.

Delicious Expectation

"The pleasure of expecting enjoyment is often greater than that of obtaining it, and the completion of almost every wish is found a disappointment." ~ Samuel Johnson


As we were driving home last night, my son raised his eyes to the lottery billboard and whistled when he saw the staggering jackpot amount. "How much money do you think that is, Mom?" he asked with childlike curiosity. "Too much", I replied. "Yes," Michael interjected, "after winning a sum like that, one is set for life. His children and grandchildren will be, too. "

When he said that, the first image that popped in my head was that of a group of dysfunctional, unhappy individuals, so I shared my thought with my son. He agreed with me, and said that he doesn’t even enjoy stuff that much, unless he has saved up for it.

Our conversation led me to think back about my childhood years, when the mere thought of surprises on the way was enough to fill me with excitement and expectation. I loved Christmas eve as a child; that magical, thrilling time when one’s head filled with expectations and the heart was ripe with hopeful wishes. As excruciating as it was, waiting for the big day was painfully delicious. I still remember looking in awe at the pretty packages under the tree, and fantasizing about the content.

Then Christmas day came. We were happy, the tree was assaulted, the gifts opened, and the house was filled with cheerful thoughts and good wishes; yet, something was also a bit sad – another year had to pass before another Christmas. Though they were usually what we had petitioned for, the joy at seeing the actual gifts paled in comparison to the feeling of absolute wonder from the day before.

We often feel that we should expedite events in our lives, but we sadly forget to notice that the best part of achieving anything is indeed the expectation of receiving the blessing. If we take time to listen within, our energy in those moments is fueled by pure hope; if we could bottle up our excitement, and save it for a rainy day, life would be much simpler and enjoyable.

When looking ahead, the final destination is only one of the blessings of the journey; the rest of it – including expectations – is the part we must truly cherish and be thankful for. Disappointment can be a crash to the ego, but it can also open the door to creativity and motivate one to reach a lot further.

New Year's Wish Cakes

With less than a week left before we say goodbye to the current year, many are already beginning to formulate their resolutions for the next.

Rather than coming up with resolutions, my family and I bake “wish cakes” on New Year’s Eve. That tradition is one I grew up with, and has become one of my children’s favorites through the years. We normally select a cake mix that contains lemon and poppy seeds. The lemon is said to purify and remove negativity, while the poppy seeds open the doors of the mind and allow us to accept blessings more willingly. Other choices for cake mix are also cinnamon and vanilla (respectively used to speed wishes and attract love).

After mixing the ingredients, we add little charms I keep for the occasion; they can be anything one may wish; for example, if someone is looking for marriage, they could put in a wedding ring (fake ones can be found at craft stores, in the section for weddings), or coins for prosperity. Other items may include tiny car charms, hearts for love, ladybugs for good fortune, and small, rolled pieces of paper with something written on it - anything that holds a special meaning for the person baking the cupcakes and the people they will be shared with.

The mix is then poured in muffin cups and baked. Right after midnight, each person in the family gets an equal amount of cakes, and sees what the New Year will bring them.

I happened to be on the phone with my sister, last year, while I was preparing the cakes; she told me to put in something special for her, something she would like. Since travel is her greatest passion, I put in a small paper with the writing “surprise vacation” and a small charm shaped as a passport. At midnight, I announced that one of the cakes was for Aunt Patrizia, and we all were stunned when both travel charms were found inside the cake I had selected for her.

What’s even crazier, at the time neither of us knew that my parents had decided to give my sister a special gift, and had bought her a plane ticket to come and see me, as a surprise to both of us.

So, this is one of our New Year’s traditions. My family has been having fun with it for many years, and I thought it was time I pass it along. After all, a little sprinkle of magic and games never hurts anyone, and makes life more fun.

Wish cake, anyone?

Counting Down to Christmas

As the countdown to Christmas day continues, some are in the clutches of panic. “Two weeks!” exclaimed a lady to a friend, as they were waiting in line at a food kiosk in the local mall to grab a quick bite between one purchase and the other, “all I have is two weeks. How can I get everything done, in such little time?”

It wasn’t the words, as much as her shrill, nervous tone of voice that caught my attention. She was indeed frazzled. Although she was attempting to make small talk with her friend, describing her lengthy list of chores, she continued snapping at her two small children and darting her eyes back and forth as if ready to run for her life. Similarly, I’ve heard others referring to Christmas as something they couldn’t wait to pass, as if they were talking about a flu virus. Is this what Christmas has become, a dreaded list of chores?

Christmas is a time to love, to spread cheer and connect to others; it is a time of inner rebirth and renewal of the self, but for many it’s one of the most stressful times of the year. We have become so consumed with the importance of appearance and glitter that we are concerned of the way others will judge us if we can’t keep up with our “lists”. Sometimes, we just need to sit back and take a deep breath to see that things are not as overwhelming as they seem; if we don’t get everything done perfectly, life will continue, the sun will continue to rise and set, and all will still be okay.

Realistically, everyone could shop for all they need in one day. Most chain stores and malls carry a plethora of items, aimed at pleasing everybody. Something can always be found, even at the last minute. What truly matters in the gift giving business is the fact that we have taken the time to want to honor those we love with a small token which doesn’t necessarily need to match something on their wish list. Gift cards can be our friends, too. Those who don’t have the financial availability to shop much can probably afford one trip to a craft store to buy paper and a couple of markers; make nice, homemade, individualized cards, including a hand-written coupon for the type of personal help our loved ones might need.

Cooking is another puzzle I can’t find the pieces for; I hear people, two weeks ahead of Christmas, say the need to start cooking; what possibly can they have to cook that takes so long? Grandma will not be rolling in her grave if we aren’t baking her special sausage rolls recipe this year.

Christmas shouldn’t be about getting anxious over things that truly don’t reflect the spirit of the season. It is more important to smile and be kind to a stranger, than it is to stress over societal impositions. Let love be the main course, the rest is only garnish.

The Gift Box

Walking through the mall around Christmas time is an experience in itself. The air is impregnated with a fusion of warming aromas, and people look like a colony of ants, walking in and out of shops and carrying loads greater than their body weight. In the midst of all this, the main attraction is Santa, the magical old fellow dressed in red, surrounded by a mob of excited children and a line of weary moms, relieved that their little darlings’ outfits are still perfect for the picture with the good elf.

But what stands out most are the decorations; lots of them, bright and cheerful, crafty and classy, displayed along the hallways and inside overcrowded stores. In the window of one of these shops I saw something which caught my wandering eye: An array of beautifully wrapped gift boxes, stacked neatly for all to see, their sparkling wrapping paper glimmering in the bright spotlights beside a layout of expensive accessories.

Growing up with a mother who owned a retail store, I’m all too familiar with the grandiosity of Christmas decorations to attract business; after all, who would not be enticed by a gorgeous gift box, wrapped in gold paper and skillfully adorned with an exquisite velvet bow? To the exhausted eye of the tired Christmas shopper it’s a mirage of sorts.

As a child, I was in love with boxes such as those. They always had a special power over me; something looking that pretty had to contain an amazing gift. One day, curiosity had the best of me, and I sneaked out one of the beautiful “gifts”, eager to finally discover what incredible surprise was guarded within the refined packaging. I gently removed the ribbon with trembling hands – in part, probably, out of fear that my mother was going to catch me – and prepared to pull the tape which kept the beautiful paper tightly folded against the hard box. When I removed the paper and found a simple cardboard box I was slightly disappointed, but nothing had prepared me for the shuttering surprise once I finally lifted the lid: There was nothing in the box but tissue paper! Was this what I had risked getting in trouble for? I didn’t know whether to feel angry or upset; my beautiful gift, the one I had dreamt upon - and built castles in the air over - was nothing but an empty box.

As childish as that experience was, it taught me something very important that day: a gift can never be judged by the packaging it is wrapped in. Growing up, I realized the same applies to people.

Some of the most amazing people we meet don’t come in pretty packages; they may look or act rough; they may be someone we can’t imagine associating with; yet, they may yield a wonderful gift. The content of what they offer is precious, but it is presented humbly as they have no need to impress anybody, or blind anyone with artificial luster. The gift will stand for itself.

Hidden Blessings

“Two angels were traveling the country, occasionally seeking food and shelter during their journey. They stopped at an opulent mansion, and asked if they could have shelter for the night. The owner let them in, and told them they could make a bed on the floor in the cold basement. As they prepared to turn in, the older Angel noticed a hole in the wall and repaired it. The next day they left the mansion and continued their journey. They came upon a very poor farm, and once again they asked for shelter. The farmer and his wife shared the little food they had, and offered their bed so the tired strangers could sleep comfortably. Early after the sun had risen, the two Angels were awakened by the farmer and his wife weeping. Their only cow, whose milk was their sole wealth, had died during the night. The younger Angel became angry, and asked the older spirit why he would help a rich man by fixing his wall but would let this poor man’s cow die. The older Angel replied: “Things aren’t always as they seem. When we were down in the basement, I saw gold hidden behind the wall, so I patched the hole to hide the fortune away from the greedy owner. Last night, while we were sleeping, I saw the Angel of Death coming for the farmer’s wife. I asked him to take the cow instead.”

When anything unpleasant occurs, it is always very difficult to see the hidden blessings.
The people whose alarms didn’t work - or whose cars broke down - the morning of 9/11, were probably very angry, and didn’t realize their fortune until they heard what happened.
Most often the hidden blessings are something that we will never even recognize for what they are. We may misplace our car keys and spend thirty minutes looking for them. Meanwhile, thanks to that delay we might have missed getting into a traffic accident.
We may be upset because we haven’t been hired for a job position we wanted; yet, if we had, we might have missed a better opportunity that was right around the corner.
As all gifts, blessings come in many packages. Some are very obvious and colorful, while some others are so subtle that we don't even recognize them for what they are.
Each moment in our lives is a perfect moment, whether we do or don’t realize its value. Through our experiences we grow, learn, become better people; for some, the most meaningful gifts have come from the difficult moments they have survived.
As we are reminded by the older Angel, things aren’t always as they seem. Even the worst tragedy may hold the seed of our greatest blessing.