Delicious Expectation

"The pleasure of expecting enjoyment is often greater than that of obtaining it, and the completion of almost every wish is found a disappointment." ~ Samuel Johnson


As we were driving home last night, my son raised his eyes to the lottery billboard and whistled when he saw the staggering jackpot amount. "How much money do you think that is, Mom?" he asked with childlike curiosity. "Too much", I replied. "Yes," Michael interjected, "after winning a sum like that, one is set for life. His children and grandchildren will be, too. "

When he said that, the first image that popped in my head was that of a group of dysfunctional, unhappy individuals, so I shared my thought with my son. He agreed with me, and said that he doesn’t even enjoy stuff that much, unless he has saved up for it.

Our conversation led me to think back about my childhood years, when the mere thought of surprises on the way was enough to fill me with excitement and expectation. I loved Christmas eve as a child; that magical, thrilling time when one’s head filled with expectations and the heart was ripe with hopeful wishes. As excruciating as it was, waiting for the big day was painfully delicious. I still remember looking in awe at the pretty packages under the tree, and fantasizing about the content.

Then Christmas day came. We were happy, the tree was assaulted, the gifts opened, and the house was filled with cheerful thoughts and good wishes; yet, something was also a bit sad – another year had to pass before another Christmas. Though they were usually what we had petitioned for, the joy at seeing the actual gifts paled in comparison to the feeling of absolute wonder from the day before.

We often feel that we should expedite events in our lives, but we sadly forget to notice that the best part of achieving anything is indeed the expectation of receiving the blessing. If we take time to listen within, our energy in those moments is fueled by pure hope; if we could bottle up our excitement, and save it for a rainy day, life would be much simpler and enjoyable.

When looking ahead, the final destination is only one of the blessings of the journey; the rest of it – including expectations – is the part we must truly cherish and be thankful for. Disappointment can be a crash to the ego, but it can also open the door to creativity and motivate one to reach a lot further.

Unexpected Rewards

“Be ready to be surprised.” ~ Loesje

A long time ago, I read somewhere that one should start the day by asking to witness a small miracle unfold when they go out into the world. Being the eternal optimist, I approach each day with the same expectations of a child on Christmas Eve - good things will come as long as I believe they will.

Yesterday began like an ordinary day; after I dropped my daughter off, I headed to my son’s high-school, where every Thursday I volunteer at the library. As I drove, I noticed a trash bag on the road in the lane beside mine, and as I passed it, I thought I saw the bag move.

I passed it and got to the light, but all of a sudden I wondered if anything alive was inside of it and I decided to turn around. I parked my car on a side street and walked back on the main road toward the bag, a bit apprehensive at the thought of what I would find in it. I picked it up from the road and took it to the sidewalk – by then I was pretty sure it was just trash, but I moved it nonetheless so that a car wouldn’t hit it.

I left the bag on the sidewalk and went back to my car. As soon as I turned into the side street, I saw a large black bird – a crow, I believe – flying low and holding something in its beak. When it saw me approaching, it flew on a nearby branch, still holding tight to the loot. I didn’t think much of it and got inside the car. While I was ready to start the engine, I saw the black bird land in a yard, still holding the food in its beak, and slowly hop toward a bush. Another bird – visibly injured - came out from under the bush and hopped painfully until the other bird dropped the food it had been holding in front of it and flew away; the injured bird picked up the morsel and hopped back under the protective cover of the bush.

I sat in my car and watched in awe. If I hadn’t stopped to move the trash bag, and parked my car right there, I would have missed out on the chance to see this act of random kindness. What appeared as a nuisance, especially since I was already late, turned out to be an unforeseen moment of sheer inspiration.

I drove away and went to the library, and the rest of the day I felt blessed by that one small occurrence. I’m certainly not implying that every single bothersome event hides a joyful moment, but sometimes good things just happen, and unless we are open to embrace the unexpected, we might miss them altogether.

I got to the library ten minutes later than I had planned, but I was in such a cheerful mood that I got a lot of work accomplished anyway. I don’t know what was wrong with the bird on the ground, and I’m not sure of what type of connection it had with the bird that came to feed it, but I do know one thing for certain – small miracles do manifest if one is willing to see them.

March 25th - What Tomorrow Will Bring

“Whatever we expect with confidence becomes our own self-fulfilling prophecy.”~ Brian Tracy


Tonight my parents are arriving from Italy. The past few days have been a flurry of activity in preparation for their visit, and we are all eagerly awaiting to see them. Today, as I was putting in the final touches, I found myself daydreaming about all the wonderful moments we will spend together in the next three weeks, and all I could envision was fun, laughter, and many, many hugs.

Those thoughts triggered a question I my mind – would I look forward to their visit as much if I hadn’t had as nice a childhood as I did? Of course I would still love them for being my parents, but would my expectations of the days to come be the same?

It occurred to me that our expectations for the future are, in great part, directly tied to our experiences in the past. If we had nice, rewarding moments – and are able to connect them to a person or a situation – we are likely to expect that everything ahead is going to be equally rewarding. If, on the other hand, our past experiences were less than desirable, our expectations of our future are probably just as bleak.

We can’t change our past, but we can do something about our present and future. Because of their intimate tie, by changing our expectations of our future, we are able to heal some of the wounds of the past.

Our perception of situations is often connected to our point of perspective at the time of the occurrence. By improving our self-worth and creating rewarding expectations, we can open ourselves to a new awareness, and create a pathway which will allow us to look at our past with a new point of view. Once we examine old hurts with new eyes, our assessment of them is likely to change, thus giving us the opportunity to move past some of our inner blocks.

By allowing the formulation of healthy expectations we give ourselves silent permission to heal and forgive those elements of our past that we weren’t able to reconcile with until now. We may not get what we deserve, at times, but we all certainly get what we expect. So, why not expect the best and enjoy the moments preceding the occasion? We might be pleasantly surprised.