The Value of Challenges

"Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself." ~ George Bernard Shaw When my kid went to bed, last night, I finally took a few minutes to reflect on everything that's happened in my life in the last few years. Although I often feel that my existence is a big, boring set of routines, and Spirit could really try a little harder to make blessings roll in a timely manner, last night I finally had to admit that things HAVE happened, and compared to five years ago, my world has changed a great deal. What I think triggered my reflection was a discussion about the state lottery. While we were sitting in the living room after dinner, my daughter asked me what I would do if I won such a staggering amount. My answer surprised her and slighly disappointed her. If I won a jackpot of 500 millions, I would probably set one million aside for each of my three kids, I would put away five to ten millions for retirement, I would take care of family and a few close friends, and then I would have fun with the rest. I don't think I would want to buy houses, yachts or cars, and clothes and shoes have never been at the top of my list of likes. What I would really like to do would be to play anonimous Santa, sharing that wealth anonimously with the unsuspecting needy. I have heard a few sweet stories in the last few years -- one of a woman who walked into a K-Mart close to Christmas and paid off all the toys on layaway in cash, and another of a woman who bought a foreclosed home just to give it back to the original owner who lost it after falling into hard times. How much fun would it be to do something like that?? My daughter didn't seem all that impressed with my choices. "Wow, Mom, you would give all that money away and you would only leave us, your own children, one million each?" I explained to her that life is more fun when you have goals you strive to achieve, and the journey is really what defines you as a person. Individual strengths don't usually come out until one needs to be strong, and one rarely tries hard to learn new strategies until challenges come along. A million would buy each of the kids a home and give them enough money for education and a good start. When everyone went to bed, I thought of how my philosophies apply to my own life, and how much I have learned by having to reinvent myself in the last few years. Writing has truly been the key to not only finding myself, but also to creating a new self. Of course, I wish someone could have come in, touched me with a magic wand and offered a shortcut to success, but if that had happened, I wouldn't have learned half as much. In the last five years, I have learned how to stand on my own two feet, I have learned how to do things I never thought possible, and I have been forced to get out of the safety of my shell and explore the world. Has it been easy? Not at all, but it has been fun and educational. If I look back at the shy person I was just five years ago, and the more confident individual I have become, I know all those efforts were not in vain. Life isn't just about discovering who we are by finding what we enjoy doing, but rather, it is an opportunity to reinvent the wheel if one is needed to travel smoothly. As I thought of all this, I was suddenly happy about the challenges I endured.

A Dollar A Day

“This is the beginning of a New Day. God has given me this day to use as I will. I can waste it or grow in its light and be of service to others. But what I do with this day is important because I have exchanged a day of my life for it. When tomorrow comes, today will be gone forever. I hope I will not regret the price I paid for it.” ~ Anonymous

Let’s imagine that at the beginning of our lives someone gave us a limited amount of money – a dollar bill for each day we are alive - and told us that we can use the sum we are given to buy joy, pain, anger or peace. Our purchase cannot be returned, and whatever we buy with it we have to keep. We know that if our money is invested properly it might earn us a few extra bucks, while if it is spent unwisely, our account will dry up prematurely due to the penalties we have to pay. With that type of awareness, how would you spend your daily dollar?

Research has repeatedly shown that people who live a simple and peaceful life have longer life spans, especially if they sweeten the deal with faith and service to others. Each time we smile to a stranger, indulge in an act of random kindness, or accept the rocks that life throws as an opportunity to learn how to catch and stay in shape, we have used our daily dollar wisely.

If, on the contrary, we invest our energy in a fight against life, and allow anger, greed and fear to absorb our time and minds, we have merely taken our daily dollar and left it outside to be swept away by the wind. No matter how upset we get once we realize our mistake, the dollar is gone. So, should we put the rest of our money down on the same table, and leave it to be swept away as well while we run around madly searching for the first bill? By doing so, all our money will soon be gone and no amount of regret or foot-stomping will bring it back.

The first dollars were taken away by a combination of an unmerciful wind and personal naiveté, but choosing to put the rest of our livelihood out to be dispersed by the same currents is self-destructive and irresponsible at best. Rather than wasting more dollars trying to rectify mistakes of the past, it would be best if we focused on not making the same mistakes again in the future.

Go out today, and use your daily dollar wisely. By the time the setting sun pulls a curtain on this day, you should feel that what you bought is worth the price you paid for it.

Money doesn’t grow on trees…life doesn’t either.

An Act of Random Kindness

"You and I can never do a kindness too soon, for we never know how soon it will be too late." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson


It’s amazing how much one can observe and learn even from a run at the grocery store. As I waited to pay for my purchases, yesterday, I noticed that the first person in line was rummaging furiously through the contents in her purse. Stress was evident on her face, and I wondered if she had just realized she had forgotten her wallet.

She looked up at the cashier and seemed ready to cry. She turned toward the two plastic bags containing the few items she had picked up and began to take out some things, mentally adding up what she had to leave behind. When I saw what she had pulled out, my heart sank – a package of store brand ham, cereal, ground beef and a bottle of juice. She held on to two loaves of bread, milk and diapers. She hadn’t forgotten her wallet – she simply didn’t have enough money even for basic necessities and was looking for a miracle at the bottom of her purse.

I immediately dunk my hand into my own to grab my debit card, but the man in front of me beat me to it. He gave the cashier enough money for the entire bill and seemed almost embarrassed that his act of kindness had been a public one.

The woman was stunned at his generosity. She looked up at the man with tear-filled eyes and thanked him. What happened next, however, was the highlight of it all.

He nodded, and told the lady that his best friend had recently taken his own life because no one had realized in time he needed help. His eyes moistened and his voice broke for a moment as he told her to not lose faith because things will eventually turn around. She instinctually hugged him, and a single tear escaped her eyelids. After that, she left. He paid for his deli sandwich and soda, and exited the store quietly.

I watched them both go, and thought about how many times I have probably passed by someone who is silently suffering and didn’t know it. All the anonymous faces inside the store – each with a story of their own, and some bearing crosses.

I thought about the times I could have smiled at a stranger, or helped someone with a small act of kindness, rather than just cross paths with them and look ahead. Any of them could have been the man whose heart was broken, or the lady who didn’t have enough money to buy juice for her children; maybe, they could have been someone whose spouse had recently passed away, or even someone who had lost all hope of ever overcoming hardship.

Truth is, we don’t know the person behind the façade, and we don’t know of their situations and their struggles. Because of that, we should always strive toward being kind to one another. Maybe then, so many would not feel completely lost and alone.