Unexpected Rewards

“Be ready to be surprised.” ~ Loesje

A long time ago, I read somewhere that one should start the day by asking to witness a small miracle unfold when they go out into the world. Being the eternal optimist, I approach each day with the same expectations of a child on Christmas Eve - good things will come as long as I believe they will.

Yesterday began like an ordinary day; after I dropped my daughter off, I headed to my son’s high-school, where every Thursday I volunteer at the library. As I drove, I noticed a trash bag on the road in the lane beside mine, and as I passed it, I thought I saw the bag move.

I passed it and got to the light, but all of a sudden I wondered if anything alive was inside of it and I decided to turn around. I parked my car on a side street and walked back on the main road toward the bag, a bit apprehensive at the thought of what I would find in it. I picked it up from the road and took it to the sidewalk – by then I was pretty sure it was just trash, but I moved it nonetheless so that a car wouldn’t hit it.

I left the bag on the sidewalk and went back to my car. As soon as I turned into the side street, I saw a large black bird – a crow, I believe – flying low and holding something in its beak. When it saw me approaching, it flew on a nearby branch, still holding tight to the loot. I didn’t think much of it and got inside the car. While I was ready to start the engine, I saw the black bird land in a yard, still holding the food in its beak, and slowly hop toward a bush. Another bird – visibly injured - came out from under the bush and hopped painfully until the other bird dropped the food it had been holding in front of it and flew away; the injured bird picked up the morsel and hopped back under the protective cover of the bush.

I sat in my car and watched in awe. If I hadn’t stopped to move the trash bag, and parked my car right there, I would have missed out on the chance to see this act of random kindness. What appeared as a nuisance, especially since I was already late, turned out to be an unforeseen moment of sheer inspiration.

I drove away and went to the library, and the rest of the day I felt blessed by that one small occurrence. I’m certainly not implying that every single bothersome event hides a joyful moment, but sometimes good things just happen, and unless we are open to embrace the unexpected, we might miss them altogether.

I got to the library ten minutes later than I had planned, but I was in such a cheerful mood that I got a lot of work accomplished anyway. I don’t know what was wrong with the bird on the ground, and I’m not sure of what type of connection it had with the bird that came to feed it, but I do know one thing for certain – small miracles do manifest if one is willing to see them.

A Prison of Our Own

“We are imprisoned in the realm of life, like a sailor on his tiny boat, on an infinite ocean.” ~ Anna Freud



The other day I joined a friend for lunch and we discussed a ministry she is involved with at the prison. When we spoke of some of the women there, and agreed that we all share a collective soul beneath the upper crust of different life circumstances, my friend simply said: “After all, aren’t we all imprisoned to some extent?”

Her words gave me food for thought. Although many of us will thankfully never know the hardship of being physically confined, being imprisoned within the invisible walls of our own weaknesses can be just as daunting.

None of us are ever completely free. We are limited by societal rules, by financial constraints, by faulty perceptions, and by the fears and doubts that often impact our lives. One of our downfalls is that we think too much – although rational thinking is appropriate for some situations, too much of a good thing is not always beneficial.

We tend to second-guess ourselves even when we have taken good decisions, and rarely realize that in some instances “being” is better than thinking. We function through the perceptions of others, and unless we can adhere to an “acceptable” standard of living, we fail in our own minds. It is so easy to get wrapped up into the illusion of right and wrong that we often forget to check with our inner guide to decide if we are on the right path or if we need to change our course of action.

Some are even imprisoned by the image they have forged for themselves, and truly struggle to detach from it, in fear of losing their whole identity. I could be listing a whole lot of things – some organized religions, appearances, lifestyles, poverty, health issues, past pain and political affiliations can also pose limits to the expression of our inner selves, but we are scared let them go in fear of losing control over their circumstances.

It makes little difference if the bars are made of sturdy metal or limiting thoughts – until we realize we hold the key, our lives will never experience the warm sunshine filtering through the windows of our soul.

When All Seems Lost

“Anyone can give up; it’s the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that’s true strength.” ~ Author unknown


Yesterday I ran into a friend who went through a very rough time this past year – he lost his job, his mother passed away, he went through a hard battle with his ex-wife over custody of his children, and he struggled with depression. Every time he raised his head after one blow, something else hit him from a different direction, often with not enough time in between life storms to recharge his batteries.

When I asked him how he was doing, I expected a sad answer. To my surprise, he replied that he was doing great. I am not sure if I was more relieved or surprised, and he must have seen it on my face, because he felt compelled to explain.

“When everything started going south,” he said, “I got very depressed. I even thought that life wasn’t worth living any more, and I escaped the pain by fantasizing about dying. The more I thought of it, the sweeter death appeared – a moment of pain in exchange for an eternal sleep I didn’t have to wake up from. Then, one afternoon, I went to the grocery store, and I ran into a neighbor who told me of her thirty-five-year-old daughter who was dying of cancer. Tears welled in her eyes when she told me of her little grandson who was going to grow up without a mother. Suddenly, my depression evaporated like fog in the morning sun. Here I was, mostly upset over minor affairs and wishing for death, and out there was a young mother fighting to live just another day. I was overcome with shame and guilt, and I almost fell into a deeper state of self-pity, but I quickly shook myself out of it; life IS beautiful, no matter how maddening it can be at times. I guess I was like the man who complained he had no shoes until he ran into another man who had no feet.”

Glad that my friend had been able to accept those hard moments as a natural low of life, I said good-bye and thought about the things he said.

It’s extremely easy to become overwhelmed when things start happening, especially if they are unexpected, and it is just as easy to be willing to give up. Once the first set of emotions begin to flow, they rush through every cell of our being and cloud our perception. If we lose a job we feel as if we’ve lost ourselves and our identity; if we lose our house we immediately entertain thoughts of being rejected by society; if we lose a loved one, we feel guilty for being alive while they are gone. In reality, a job and a house do not define our worth, and each of us is here as long as we need to complete whatever we came to do and learn; if we are still here, there is a reason why we are.

The trick is to focus on what we have left, rather than obsessing on what we have lost.