Not A Moment Too Soon

“Life is all about timing…the unreachable becomes reachable, the unavailable becomes available, and the unattainable becomes attainable. Have the patience, wait it out; it’s all about timing.” ~ Stacey Charter

While I was driving, yesterday, I noticed a small fly on my car window. It walked the length and width of the glass several times, occasionally stopping as if to think of a new plan of action. Suddenly, it took off from the glass and flew around the car for a while, just to land back on the same spot.

I knew that if I opened the window while the car was in motion the rush of air would have simply pushed it back, so I waited until I found a red light. I lowered the glass slowly and waited for fly to walk up toward the rim, then, opened it completely and watched the tiny insect fly off to live the rest of its destiny.

I wonder what the fly felt in those few moments, as it looked for a way out when none seemed available. Freedom appeared near, yet no matter how hard it tried to get out, no effort seemed good enough. Until the timing for release was right - although the fly was ready to go the moment it spotted the light outside the glass, all other conditions were not optimal at that time.

In the greater scheme of things, as we go through life we are not too different than the tiny fly in my car. We see the things we would like to achieve but feel something out of our control is stopping us from getting there; we convince ourselves that poor luck or outside occurrences are to blame for our lack of achievement, but rarely realize that what we wish may be eluding us simply because the timing is off.

I remember thinking that once, when as a child I had gone to visit one of my mother’s aunts who had an apricot tree. It appeared to me that every time we went the fruits were never ripe enough to pick, but it wasn’t the tree’s fault – we were simply going too early in the season. The tree had to first awaken in the spring, the leaves had to form on the branches, the flowers had to blossom, and finally they had to turn into fruits. Even after the whole metamorphosis, more time was needed for the fruits to ripen. It wasn’t bad luck, or lack of ability – it was just too early for the apricots to be ready.

When something seems to be resisting our efforts, and we have already done what we could to get things in motion, continuing to bang on a dead door will not bring in any quicker results; if anything, it will add to our frustration, as everything follows an order of things that is not for us to determine. Although shadowed by the things we consider more important, there are plenty of things in or daily routine that can use our direct attention. Focusing on those seemingly less important tasks or goals frees our minds from the anxiety associated with waiting, and allows us to take a brief mental vacation.

There is a time for everything, largely outside of our individual control. What is truly important is that we don’t give up on what is important to us. We must continue to hope and know that good things come to those who wait – just not always in the time they have erroneously chosen.

Dreaming of Butterfly Wings

“When I sound the fairy call,
Gather here in silent meeting,
Chin to knee on the orchard wall,
Cooled with dew and cherries eating.
Merry, merry, Take a cherry
Mine are sounder, Mine are rounder
Mine are sweeter, for the eater
When the dews fall. And you'll be fairies all.” ~ Emily Dickinson


Few things are as disarming as the innocent and wondrous eyes of a small child asking for the impossible. I saw those eyes yesterday, when my daughter marched down to the kitchen and asked me how she could get wings and a tail.

A quick glance at my puzzled face told her I was lost, so she proceeded to explain to me that she had decided to be a real fairy. And not a regular fairy, thank you very much – she wanted to be a fairy mermaid, and be able to fly and swim at the same time.

On first instinct – probably out of frustration because she was stepping over my wet floor – I was tempted to tell her that only birds and planes can fly, and only fish can live under the sea. Then I made a fatal mistake – I looked at her eyes. Two huge pools of blue crystal set into a cherub face, staring at me in hope and profound awe.

All I could say was “You’re still a little young, Honey. You need to wait a bit longer, until the queen of fairies decides you are ready.”

Satisfied with my reply she smiled, turned on her heels, and went back to watch the rest of the movie, as I finally released the breath I had been holding in. I went back to my floor – now smeared by little fairy footprints – and thought about my daughter’s wish. A tail and wings. Maybe that wasn’t such an unreasonable request after all.

A tail is used to swim and move gracefully through something fluid and ever changing in form. Like water, emotions can be nurturing or drowning, and as a parent, I strive to teach my children how to deal with feelings in general. By guiding them toward being able to handle a varied range of emotions, I’m indeed giving them the gift of a tail.

Similarly, we teach our children how to spread their own wings and learn how to fly; we give them tools to catch the winds of change under their wings and use those opportunities to lift themselves high above the storms of life.

For once I hadn’t just fallen for the depth of my daughter’s eyes, but I had happily realized that I can make a huge difference in her world. With or without pixie dust I can be the queen of fairies.

All I Know I Learned in Bible Class

“Whatever the conscious mind thinks and believes the subconscious identically creates.” ~ Brian Adams

When I was a young girl and was attending Bible classes, I often sat in the room, bored to pieces, and listened to Don Battaglini explain how much we should guard our thoughts. “If a man thinks of having an affair with his brother’s wife”, he used to say, “He’s as sinful as the man who does”. As every know-it-all teenager in the room probably did, I also believed it was just bogus. By then, I had pretty much concluded that thoughts and facts were very different things. My ideas in that regard would change in the future.

Since even then I loved to write, but couldn’t really come up with a specific character, I became the protagonist of my own stories. On days when I had the time, I would write short stories, and then I would put them away. When I wrote them I became so attached to the situations – most of them rosy wishes of a teenage girl – that I often envisioned myself living the stories. Strangely, within a short period of time, most of them became reality. One of them, particularly, took the cake. After a trip to London when I was sixteen, I often fantasized about living there. In my daydream I imagined I had married an English guy I had met while he was vacationing in Italy, we had three children and lived on one of the streets near Victoria Station.

Then I grew up, I forgot my fantasies of London, and focused more on real happenings. I met my husband, moved to the States and settled into the life I’m currently living. It was a few years ago, on my way home, that I absent-mindedly glimpsed at the sign outside my subdivision while I waited to turn at the light…the name on it was the same as the street in London I had envisioned living on as a kid! It took my breath away. Suddenly, the events that had played a huge role in my life flashed in front of my eyes – I have, after all, married an English man, and we have three children; we don’t live in London on the street of my fantasy, but live in an area called by the same name.

Once I started paying attention, I realized that thoughts do indeed affect reality. Not all thoughts do, but only those we fuel with emotions and passions. We manifest that which we deeply fear, wish and expect, if we feel strongly enough about it. Without emotional charge, thoughts are just that – fleeting ideas streaming through.

That is why it is so important to watch our thoughts. If we train our conscious minds to accept only positive images, those are what we send to our subconscious mind for production. One important thing to note is that things do not instantaneously change the moment we alter the way we address our thoughts. First we must live through the residue of what we thought yesterday. However, if once we decide we are going to change our thinking we stick to our guns - regardless of the left-over trash we are still experiencing - eventually those thoughts will run their course, and all that will be left to manifest will be positive images.

So many years later, I finally understand what the good old priest was trying to explain. And that brings a smile to my face.