Lent: May the Fasting Begin

Lent officially began yesterday, February 25th, on Ash Wednesday, and will continue for 40 days. Lent is a season of soul-searching, repentance, and reflection. It originated in the very earliest days of the Church as a preparatory time for Easter, when the faithful rededicated themselves, and when converts were instructed in the faith and prepared for baptism. By observing the days of Lent, the individual Christian imitates Jesus’ withdrawal into the wilderness for forty days.

In the Middle Ages the Catholic church prescribed what was on the daily menu. Each week counted at least one day, and more often three or even four days (depending on where and when in medieval Europe) during which no meat was to be eaten. For many Catholics Friday was still an obligatory "fish day" until well into the twentieth century. In this way one was weekly reminded of Jesus who died on the cross on what we call "Good Friday". Other possible days of fasting were Wednesday (because of Judas' treason) and Saturday (to honor the Virgin Mary).

Together with this weekly cycle, there was also an annual cycle of fasting days: the Ember Days (these mark the beginning of the new seasons, in December, March, June and September), Advent (the four weeks before Christmas), and Lent (the six weeks between Carnival and Easter). Added together, this means that to the medieval Christian meat was prohibited during a third to more than half of all the days in the year. Eating of fish was allowed. A simple explanation is that during the Biblical Flood, meant to punish mankind for its sins, all fish survived! It was clear that fish were free of all sin.

Because Sunday is the day of the Resurrection, we skip over Sundays when we calculate the length of Lent. Therefore, in the Western Church, Lent always begins on the seventh Wednesday before Easter. In many countries, the last day before Lent (called Mardi Gras, Shrove Tuesday, or Carnival) has become a last fling before the solemnity of Lent. For centuries, it was customary to fast by abstaining from meat during Lent, which is why some people call the festival Carnival, which is Latin for farewell to meat.

The Eastern Church does not skip over Sundays when calculating the length of the Great Lent. Therefore, the Great Lent always begins on Clean Monday, the seventh Monday before Easter, and ends on the Friday before Palm Sunday—using of course the eastern date for Easter.

Generally speaking, Lent is a period of preparation . . . of meditation and focus, of "giving up" what no longer serves us. It is a perfect time to eliminate negative thinking. Regardless of what spiritual convictions we are aligned with, if we can eliminate negative thoughts, judgments and attitudes, our positive, peaceful mindset will benefit those around us.

Let’s consider making a commitment to get on a mental diet for the next 46 days…Are you ready?

Bits of historical information cited in the post were found at: http://www.kencollins.com/holy-04.htm

Defining Our Boundaries

“The purpose of having boundaries is to protect and take care of ourselves. We need to be able to tell other people when they are acting in ways that are not acceptable to us. A first step is starting to know that we have a right to protect and defend ourselves, and we are responsible for how we allow others to treat us.” ~ Robert Burney

It wasn’t until a few years ago that I learned the importance of setting well defined personal boundaries. It all started when one of the employees at a local metaphysical store gave my phone number to a young man – severely distressed and suicidal - who was seeking spiritual counseling.

I immediately became fascinated with the case at hand, and made the mistake of giving out my home number, in case this gentleman hit a particularly low point and needed to talk. In no time at all he began to call my house at all hours of the day and night. Although he knew I had a family to take care of, he continued to call until I set my foot down and told him that if he needed to stop calling after 5:00 pm, or he would need to find someone else to talk to. He had no choice but reluctantly accept my new terms, which resulted in more productive sessions and tangible results once he began to make the most of the minutes he had available to work things through.

Setting up personal boundaries means that sometimes we have to disappoint others in their expectations. Feeling that we are displeasing others can be extremely hard, as we are conditioned to mirror our self-worth in the way we are perceived by external sources. It is relatively easy to start setting boundaries in relationships that don't mean much to us - it is in the relationships that mean the most to us that it is so difficult. A part of us might not feel worthy, feels defective and shameful, and is terrified of setting boundaries for fear everyone will leave.

It is important to communicate our boundaries in a “no blame” fashion. It is equally fundamental to be honest in stating how we feel. If someone asks us to feed their cat and we really don’t want to do it, we should say that we regret not being able to help, without feeling the need to justify our refusal. Lack of creating healthy boundaries often results in a struggle with resentment, as we no longer feel we own our choices

While we should respect others in their decisions, others must respect us in ours. Setting personal boundaries is not a threat, but merely a way of showing the world what we deem acceptable and what we consider over the line. If some choose to overstep that line, it is perfectly acceptable for us to remove ourselves from the relationship, or negotiate other consequences, as we can’t tell others how they should live their lives, but we can choose how we will live ours.

Setting boundaries is our first step on the journey of self-respect. Should we expect others to honor our value when we can’t even do so ourselves?

The Wake-Up List

“Some people are always grumbling because roses have thorns; I am thankful that thorns have roses.” ~Alphonse Karr

Many of us begin the New Year by making resolutions. By February, the majorities of those goals – even the modest ones we thought we could keep up with – slip slowly away, and the patterns of old habits sneak back into their familiar place in our lives.

Very often the problem lies in the fact that we set goals for ourselves that are too hard to maintain. With little concrete support and a myriad of daily demands, the lure of a fresh new starts wears quickly out.

True life makeovers are not impossible, but a few steps need to be respected. Victoria Moran, author of “Living a Charmed Life: Your Guide to Finding Magic in Every Moment and Meaning in Every Day” suggests that we should list ten things for which we are grateful before we get out of bed each morning.

The items on the list don’t have to be big things – I’m grateful for my cat sleeping on my chest; I’m grateful for having dinner left over so I won’t have to cook again tonight; I’m grateful that my coffee is brewing downstairs. The list can indeed be endless and as creative as one wants to make it.

Very often, in fact, we demand a radical change when many things in our lives work well as they are. Acknowledging, and being thankful for, what already is good in our lives allows us to start our day with a feeling that there are positive things in our world we can build from.

It is also important to take quiet time in the mornings to devote a few minutes to meditation and prayer. One doesn’t have to be religious to meditate and enjoy a few minutes of silence. By doing so, the mind will have the opportunity to ease into the new day rather than being tossed mercilessly into instant chaos.

I personally discovered, several years ago, that if I had any intention of beginning my day on a positive note, I had to make time to honor myself and my thoughts. That said, some mornings I could dedicate a few extra moments to it than other days, but ultimately, I could always find five minutes. We often look for excuses that will allow us to slack off, but if we truly are determined to make changes in our lives, we will find the extra time.

These are small steps, but are indeed important ones to take if we ever hope to improve our realities and create a healthier living approach. Even the fastest runners had to learn in the beginning how to place one foot in front of the other.