Sunday, April 26, 2009

Does Wealth Lead to Happiness?

“Life in abundance comes only through great love” ~ Elbert Hubbard

Does wealth create happiness? Although a life free of financial worries sounds like the answer to all problems, I personally believe that it is not wealth that makes happiness but happiness that makes wealth.

In my opinion, there is no difference between types of energy, aside from the division between positive and negative. Both of them exist in the Universe, and everything we are, see, hear, feel or touch is made of both. Money and material things are no different – they are a manifestation of energy.

When we feel good about ourselves, and feel we deserve to receive good things, the positive energy we send out is a clear signal to the Universe that we are ready and willing to receive the many blessings that are available. When, on the other hand, we feel trapped into a dark tunnel of fear and doubt, we also feel that we have failed ourselves and others, and the signal we send out is that we don’t deserve the blessings that are available to us.

Very often, the prison we are in is an invisible one only we can see. Its walls are built with bricks made of guilt and unresolved issues. In the unfortunate event that we have done anything wrong and have gotten away with it, we fall prey of an even worse internal conflict – while our ego rejoices that we have won one, our inner spirit knows the scale isn’t balanced; justice is not done, the deed has not received adequate punishment, and we subconsciously take it upon ourselves to ensure that we get our just deserved.

Regardless of what we have done, we can’t go back and change things. Our inner spirit knows that, and does not expect any such thing. What we can do, is honor our ability to feel remorse and guilt, because it is a sure sign that our conscience is working, but once we have done so, we must also allow ourselves to let those feelings go and start afresh.

Beating ourselves over something we cannot change will not right the wrongs of the past, but will rather cause us to stumble again in the future. Instead, a complete reshuffling of our life cards needs to take place. First of all, we need to differentiate the things we feel bad about that are really wrong from those that are deemed wrong from a cultural point of view. In the latter case, what we have done may not even be wrong per se, but it is considered so because it goes against the grain of our established societal rules.

And if we can’t forgive ourselves entirely, let’s begin by forgiving others, knowing that, like us, they are held captive within the confines of a similar prison. Forgiving others allows us to heal those parts of ourselves that we can’t directly reach, and gives us a head start on a journey of true love.

On the map of abundance, selfless love is the main highway to get to destination; no toll payments are required and the sun is always shining bright at the end of the horizon.

Beyond Appearances

“I truly believe that compassion provides the basis of human survival.” ~ The Dalai Lama

I’ve always enjoyed waking up early in the morning. Every day carries a new opportunity to learn something, the chance to develop a new awareness, the gift of growing up a bit more with each spontaneous experience, so as I start a new day I am usually as excited as a child on Christmas Eve.

Yesterday, that unique learning experience took place at the bank, where I saw an older gentleman basically shredding the teller to pieces because of a hold on a check. Having done the same type of work before, I knew why holds are placed on checks, and I also knew that the teller is in no way responsible – the computer prompts the hold and she has no other option but follow it if she wants to properly handle the transaction.

Although the man looked as if he was on the verge of a heart attack, the teller was cool and collected, and if I may say, quite kind. She explained the terms of the hold and offered to direct the gentleman to her supervisor to see if anything could be resolved.

After the transaction was finalized, it was my turn. I smiled at the teller and told her how much I admired her demeanor, to which she replied something I did not expect.

She explained that the gentleman in question was going through a very hard financial time lately – he had been laid off a few months before, and was only making a living with odd jobs he found here and there. This check was probably payment for one of those jobs, and he was angry that he could not cash in what was rightfully his. She knew his indignation was masked frustration, and not a direct attack.

When I walked out of the bank, I wondered how many people I run into every day that are going through a hard time. Could their spouse just have passed away? Could their child be terminally ill? Could they be facing losing their home or something else just as cherished?

Truth is, we don’t know. All we can see is the surface of the water, not what is happening beneath the top layer. Ultimately, happy people do not try to make others miserable, so if someone is lashing out or being difficult, it is likely that they are experiencing a trauma of their own.

In this case, the customer could not pay his bills without cashing in the check; somewhere else a mother could be snapping at her children because, if she can’t account for every moment of their day, she might find herself explaining her behavior to a judge. Another case could be that of someone who recently lost a loved one, and hasn’t come to terms with their pain yet.

Pain is often redirected and expressed in ways which allow us to blow off steam without broadcasting the true reason for the discomfort. But no matter what the individual situation, a gesture of kindness can indeed go a very long way.