Anatomy of a Mistake

“I have heard that an eagle misses 70 percent of its strikes. Why should I expect to do better? And when he misses, does he scold himself, I wonder, for failing at the task?” ~Sophy Burnham

According to the Encarta Dictionary, the word ‘mistake’ has the following meanings:

1. Incorrect act or decision: An incorrect, unwise, or unfortunate act or decision caused by faulty judgment or a lack of information
2. Error: Something in a piece of work that is incorrect.
3. Misunderstanding: A misunderstanding of something
4. By mistake: Accidentally, without wishing or intending to do something.

None of the above definitions state that a mistake is an act we commit intentionally, yet as individuals and as a society we tend to beat ourselves and others for actions that were merely the product of a temporary lack of judgment.

Our first reaction when we slip and make a mistake is to lash out at others, as we attempt to subconsciously justify their dissatisfaction with our conduct - by making our loved ones angry we relieve some of the pressure guilt is imposing on our bruised ego. Our mind tells us that we have done wrong - and that we don’t deserve acceptance - and as we seek to self-punish we further isolate ourselves and increase our vulnerability, thus making it possible for us to self-sabotage and make more mistakes.

Making mistakes is a side-effect of being human, and needs to be accepted as part of our growth. Nobody intentionally wishes to do wrong, and since early childhood, our greatest wish is to please others and connect with them; things happen, sometimes, beyond the sphere of our control, as our mindset can be easily influenced by hidden triggers in our subconscious.

We can’t always stop ourselves from making mistakes, but we can prevent ourselves from believing that hope is lost just because we have stumbled. Mistakes are a great gauge to measure how far we have come, and an irreplaceable tool to determine the stability of the path we are following.

Beating ourselves up for our mistakes will not erase our past actions, nor will it help us rectify our future ones. On the contrary, acceptance that it is okay to slip allows us to take stock of our losses and create a new course of action starting from now. Falling is not synonymous of failure; it just means that we stumbled on an obstacle we didn’t see in the darkness of the moment. Once we turn on the light and acknowledge the fact that no human is perfect, it will be easier to resume our journey without the burden of unnecessary expectations.

Forgiveness and healing can certainly go two-ways, but the door must first be unlocked from within. No one can fully forgive us until we can find the strength to forgive ourselves.

One Reason to Believe in Yourself

“Forget about all the reasons why something may not work. You only need to find one good reason why it will.” ~ Robert Anthony


As I drove home from my monthly writers’ meeting, last night, I reflected upon the many opportunities I have had this past year to grow and expand my passion for writing.

It was only three years ago, that writing professionally was nothing more than a far-away dream, a distant star I could watch and wish upon but not quite hold. On a very early morning on July 2006, I woke up with a handful of words in my head; as I went about my daily routines they continued to nag at me until I picked up pen and paper and wrote them down. That night, after the kids went to bed, I transferred that first sentence to a notebook.

Those few words spun more, until the story began to take a life of its own. When I finally finished the first draft, about a month later, I was thrilled that I had finally been able to write a full-length novel, but I thought it was going to age inside a drawer. I let a couple of my closest friends read it and they all seem to like the story line, so I gathered more confidence and showed it to a few more people. Finally, one day, someone asked me if I was going to try to get it published. Instantly I began to formulate in my mind all the reasons it wouldn’t go anywhere. My friend looked at me and asked: “Now that you’ve come up with all the reason it couldn’t make it, can you think of a few why it could?”

I thought about it for a moment, and the only thing that came to mind was that it was a unique story which didn’t really fit any specific genre. “There,” my friend said, “it’s something new and refreshing. It could make it just because of that.” I chewed those words around for a couple of days, and with each passing moment I began to feel that there was no harm in trying, so I decided to give it a shot.

Months continued to pass, and rejections kept piling up; many times I felt like giving up, but every time I got really fed up, something or someone would come along and encourage me to keep trying. In time, I signed up with a literary agent and the book – along with another one she had asked me to write to set a platform – sold to a publisher. What attracted the publisher to it was the very same reason I thought of when my friend asked three years before – the story was different than many already on the market and belonged to a category of its own.

What started as a hobby turned into the incarnation of a life-long passion, only because the focus was shifted from what couldn’t work to what probably could. The rest was a wonderful and unexpected journey.

If I had listened to the thousand-and-one reasons my mind had come up with as a shield to protect me from possible failure, I would still be staring at my wishing star from the window of an unfulfilled dream.

So, no matter how arduous your dream is, if you can think it you can reach it. Believe in yourself.

The water Around the Rocks

“Be the water, not the rock. Water has the flexibility to change direction; a rock stays in one place and gets worn out.” - Japanese saying


The home I am currently living in has a small creek running at the edge of my yard – after a good rain or at night, when diurnal sounds begin to wane, I can open my windows and feel as if I am living near a water fall.

Aside from the delightful, relaxing sound and the explosion of life water always seems to have near, the stream has provided the opportunity for me to sit and observe; to watch and learn; to understand how nature correlates to daily life.

Yesterday afternoon I went out back to pick a few tomatoes for dinner, and since it was still quite early I went to sit on the bench by the water. Because it hasn’t rained much the past couple of days, the flow wasn’t impressive but it was nevertheless constant. None of the rocks resting at the bottom had been disturbed by the gentle trickle and remained still at the bottom of the bed. The water continued to move around them, never considering their presence an obstacle on the path.

We might feel we have more control if we rigidly stick to our guns and don’t accept change, but true strength walks hand in hand with flexibility.

We are taught since early age that stability is the key to living a life of purpose, but it can often become synonymous of stagnation. Being flexible, and working our way gently around obstacles, allows us to go further and achieve success using the least amount of effort.

Only a powerful flow during a storm would be strong enough to move the rocks out of the way, but fluidity and gentleness allow even the weakest trickle to move along without having to fight its way through.

Solidity and rigidity are not always the answers to the problem, but are often the path to resisting a solution.

Letting go of preconceived ideas gives us the opportunity to tackle a challenge with a fluid mind, and be able to shapeshift in any possible form which will make our passage a smooth and successful one. As Einstein once said, “Nothing will happen, until something moves.”