Be careful what you wish for...you might get it

"Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson


I believe that prayers are answered. I also believe that Universe indulges us exactly with what we ask – if we are not clear when we formulate our request, the result will be just as ambiguous as the petition. Among a list of situations I have personally experienced, I think three of them really drive the point home.

As I explain the first situation, I need to backtrack a bit to the time when I first finished writing my novel. After many rejections, it was suggested to me that I should hire a professional editor to clean the story and make it appealing to major publishers. I had no clue how to find an editor, but I knew exactly what I wanted in one and told a couple of friends about it. Just a few days later – and a lot of prayers detailing exactly what I was looking for – a friend called me. She told me that another friend of hers had gotten back in touch with her after years they hadn’t talked, and she thought of me the moment she reconnected with the old friend, since this lady was a freelance editor and my friend knew I was looking for one. We hit it off immediately and an amazing professional relationship was born; if I went around the world twice with a flashlight I could not find another jewel like her.

The second situation involves my oldest son. In first grade he had a teacher from hell. The poor kid cried every morning at the thought of being in her class, and no matter how many times I talked to the school, little changed. One night, I went over a friend and we decided to meditate together. In my spiritual tradition, I was taught to “act out” prayers to send out stronger vibes into the Universe. A Barbie doll was the closest thing I could think of which reminded me of the type of person I wanted as my son’s teacher - young, always smiling and kind. I threw the doll into the fire we had built outside and mentally asked for Stephen to find a teacher who could be just as sweet as I picture Barbie to be. A couple of months went by, and Stephen got a new teacher; a young lady who had just started her teaching career, with long blond hair, blue eyes, and the sweetest smile ever. Needless to say, we had a wonderful year; the new teacher was everything I had hoped for, and she was just as beautiful inside as she was outside.

The third and final situation is funny, if one thinks of it. After my novel was sold, my mind started moving to the next goal, and I began to fantasize about getting my writing into movies. I think I phrased my wish just like that, and that’s exactly what I got. My novel didn’t become a movie –which is what I meant – but I was contacted by someone who read my blog to see if I could help with a few scenes in an independent film. Still in reference to the novel, I tried to broadcast good energy out to the Universe, and I visualized selling a whole lot of copies. In my fantasy, I saw the publisher write down a number – 100,000 – and just about a week after that, I dug out an old money clip from the sandbox at the nearby playground; it was gold-plated, and on the top it had the design of a 100,000 banknote!

So, before we send out a prayer or a wish of any kind, let’s remember to be clear in what we are asking, as we just might get what Universe thought we meant.

One Step at a Time

A few days ago, I took my daughter to the park after school. She quickly made friends and started playing with another little girl there, while I settled on a bench in the sun to read.

The other girl’s mother was busy holding the hands of a tiny little boy who was just taking his first steps; I tried to get into the book I had with me, but my eyes kept wandering back toward the efforts the little one was making. With fist-size feet planted on the ground, and a glimmer of determination in his eyes, the little boy was ready to take the world; his mother could barely hold him, as he excitedly tried to project forward, step after step. Watching him tackle this daunting task with such eagerness was inspiring in the least.

When we find ourselves in front of a new project – or even have an overwhelming list of things to do – many of us feel that what’s ahead is an impossible feat; so we procrastinate, in the hope of delaying the beginning of what we believe to be a very hard project. We are afraid of not getting everything done; we are afraid of being judged by others; we are afraid of starting something new because we don’t know if we can master the skill. Indeed, the common denominator to all that holds us back is fear of failing.

As adults we think too much, and not always with the right mind set. Rather than looking foolish in front of others, we’d rather sit back and let life pass us by. That baby wasn’t thinking; he was simply ‘being’; every cell in his little body was propelling him toward his goal. He didn’t care if he didn’t succeed right away; every time his legs buckled, or he fell, he was ready to get back up and try again. At one time, his mother let go of him for a few seconds; he took two steps alone and then fell on his bottom with a big smile on his face. By the time we left the park, his mother had let go a few other times, and on each occasion he had taken an extra step on his own; I would bet my next cup of coffee that within a couple of weeks he’ll be able to walk alone across a room.

When my bubbly daughter got in the car, I thought about how much she has accomplished in the five years she’s been alive, and I couldn’t help smiling at her through the rearview mirror.

It’s all about taking one step at a time, one day at a time, knowing that tomorrow we will accomplish a little bit more, just by putting one foot in front of the other.

Through the Eyes of a Child

“A joyful heart is the inevitable result of a heart burning with love.” ~ Mother Teresa

When I went to pick up my daughter from pre-school yesterday, I found her in the reading corner looking at picture books with another child. I saw her pointing at one of the pictures in the book she was holding and laughing, and I wondered what she found funny in it - it was a picture of baby Jesus in the manger, surrounded by the three wise men bearing gifts.

Her teacher came along, took the book from her, and told her that it wasn’t a funny book and she shouldn’t be laughing at the pictures in it. I was stunned. Not by the fact that a small child was laughing at a picture, mind you, but at the thought that an adult allegedly trained to deal with children couldn’t tell the difference between a derisive laugh and an expression of joy. The two kids were enjoying the pictures, and looking at them made them happy; the fact alone that they would erupt into random laughter without a reason apparent to adults could possibly only be explained by the one grown-up person on earth who shares a child-like spirit, the Dalai Lama.

Inner joy is not something planned or in any way related to outside influences, but an inner state which is self-feeding and self-propagating. So, should we really teach our children that it is not okay to be joyful?

Having been raised in a fairly conservative environment, I am very familiar with – and a strong supporter of – self-discipline; I believe that one should not allow emotions to cloud our better judgment and get in the way of sound decisions set in place for our greater good, yet I believe that inner joy is such an asset that it should never be stifled.

A joyful person is always joyful, regardless of what’s happening in the outside world; even when trying events take place, the upset is only momentary, and the mood quickly shifts back to its natural state because joy stems from within and it’s barely stroked by circumstances. Many confuse happiness with joy, but the two are about as alike as silk and satin – both are soft and pleasant to the touch, but their origin and overall nature are different. Happiness can be exhilarating, but it is not constant. It shifts with the outside currents and can easily come and go depending on the presence – or lack – of external feeds.

Unless traumatized by unfriendly circumstances, children are joyful until adults get in the way telling them it is wrong to feel that way. A large portion of adults act foolish in the attempt of recapturing the essence of joy they felt as children, but they unfortunately seek joy where only happiness can be found. When the link to joy is criticized or abruptly interrupted, the child quickly looks for the closest substitute, happiness from the outside world.

When we walked outside, I asked my daughter what made her laugh while looking at the book. She looked at me with a twinkle in her eyes and said: “It was a picture of baby Jesus, Mommy; He was so cute that I wanted to hold Him.”