The Power of a Decision

"You are the person who has to decide. Whether you'll do it or toss it aside, you are the person who makes up your mind. Whether you'll lead or will linger behind; whether you'll try for the goal that's afar, or just be contented to stay where you are." ~ Edgar A. Guest

If we were to sit down and think about how many decisions we make on top of a day, we would be astounded. Everything requires a decision - from the type of clothes we wear to greater choices which have the power to affect the course of our lives and that of others. Every accident, every situation, could have been different had we made a different decision.

A few days ago I was talking to a friend previously involved in relationship with a widower who has a teenage son. Since the very early days after they met, she and the boy never got along, as she felt the son was rude to her, and did things out of spite to break up her relationship with the father. After a few months of constant arguing, things got very tense for my friend and her partner. The animosity between her and the teenager continued to grow and evolved into a power struggle. Finally, rather than letting go of the hard feelings, my friend decided she was going to set her foot down and show her acquired son who was in charge. Within a few weeks her relationship with the father was defunct. Two months later, she has yet to let go of the anger sparked during the relationship. In her mind, the son was evil and the father spineless for giving in to his whims; what she always refused to see was that a lot of the friction was spawn by her own insecurities and choices. Certainly she had the right to voice her opinion and make it clear that she wasn’t happy about the father’s decisions, but by doing so she forfeited something else that was important to her – her relationship with the man she loved.

Every decision we make has the potential of being a double-edged sword, and before we indulge a certain choice or behavior we should be fully aware of what the consequences are going to be. If we feel that we are prepared to deal with those consequences because our sense of pride and self-righteousness is stronger than the loss that will ensue, then we are on the right path. If instead the relationship, or the job, is important to us – even if we feel we have the right to complain - we might need to take the time to evaluate the whole situation before we make a decision. Everything in life works on compromise; we forfeit what is less important in favor of what matters most. As we see often in the case of medication – fixing one thing while potentially hurting another – we need to weigh the pros and cons, and then decide what is best. Holding our peace may be hard, but in some instances it can be the only lifesaver if what we are protecting is dear to us. My friend’s decision was a balm for her pride and the executioner’s axe for her relationship at the same time. Did she do the right thing by standing her ground or should she have kept cool to safeguard her relationship?

Ultimately we can’t control the actions or the thoughts of others, but we do have carte blanche on how we will deal with the situations that arise. Depending on our decision, things will either turn in our favor or against us; we have the power of changing circumstances by making decisions that are based on wisdom rather than ego. The choice is up to us.

The Car Rolling Down the Hill

It is not uncommon for strange things to happen when my friend Donna and I get together for meditations. Saturday night was no different, but what we learned from an odd occurrence only confirmed something we had already come to terms with.

After an unusually rough week for my friend, we decided to get together for coffee. She arrived at my house around nine at night, after my children had gone to bed, and we sat at my kitchen table discussing all that had happened. To her credit, she had really waded through rough waters – her lawnmower had died unexpectedly, she had hit debris from an accident in the very early hours of the morning which had, unfortunately, damaged one of her tires, and to crown an already challenging week, she was forced to rescue an animal whose owners didn’t care for, whom had to be put to sleep.

Being a passionate animal lover, the last task had emotionally affected her a great deal, and she was close to tears. After discussing all the situations, we both agreed that while life happens, things could have been worse – just three years before, she would not have had the financial resources to replace her dead lawnmower, or the damaged tire; her tire could have blown out while she was driving and, as painful as being responsible for ending the misery of an animal had been, she was happy the dog was finally free of pain, and she had been there to comfort the poor soul during her last moments on earth.

As always, after chatting for a while, we went to my living room, set across from each other in front of my coffee table, lit a candle and put on soft music, to facilitate a meditative state. It was like a weight was suddenly lifted off our shoulders, and after about twenty minutes of restoring meditation we went back to the kitchen to gather her things so she could leave. We hugged and I opened the door. She took one step outside and said: “Where did my Jeep go?”

We walked outside and her car, which had been parked in front of my house, was gone. A bit confused, we walked together across the yard, and saw the car had rolled down the hill, and had stopped only about a foot from a shiny red truck parked on the street in front of one of the neighboring yards. When the car had rolled down, the front tire had bumped against the curb and had come to a stop. Our first thought was that the handbrake had failed, or that, maybe, she had accidentally hit the gear shift on her way out, and it had set on neutral. None of the above – the car was in first gear, and the handbrake, upon further examination by a mechanic in the morning, was absolutely fine.

When we spoke on the phone around lunchtime, we both came to the same conclusion. It was almost as if Spirit had decided to validate our discussion by showing us that things could have gone much worse, but in the end, they didn’t. The car was fine, my neighbor’s truck was untouched, the brake was functioning, and even the tire which had hit the curb was absolutely fine and mark-free. What started as a stressful week ended up being cloaked in a comforting sense of peace, and once again we were happy that Spirit had decided to throw in His two cents to confirm that our thoughts were indeed on the right path.

"A Nay for Effort" by Dan Bain -- A Book Introduction

I would like to introduce you to someone you will surely enjoy knowing: Please meet Dan Bain, a personal friend, witty comedian, and now published author. Dan has published his first book, "A Nay for Effort", a collection of humoristic essays about life and its lessons.

http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/a-nay-for-effort/11788747

Not only am I impressed with all Dan has been able to accomplish, but I also take my hat off to his decision of donating 10% of sales proceeds to schools and organizations that support education.

CONGRATULATIONS, DAN! It couldn't have happened to a better person!!!