Turning a Negative into a Positive

“Become a possibilitarian. No matter how dark things seem to be or actually are, raise your sights and see the possibilities — always see them, for they're always there.” ~ Norman Vincent Peele


When I went to bed last night I lay there and tried to recap my day. I spent hours arguing a point I felt passionate about, and wondered if all the arguing had indeed made any difference. As we delved deeper and deeper into discussions about pet care, about the fairness of contracts and their effectiveness when applied to specific situations, and about who was right and wrong, one of the comments caught my eye. The essence of this comment was that a wrong thing could be turned into something good if we just turned the energy around.

I’m sure it was obvious even to the people who didn’t agree with the posts that all the fuss was originated by a common ground we all shared – our love for animals. Looking back at the situation itself, who was wrong? Was it the shelter for adhering to their policies? Was it the family for admitting to a mistake yet loving the pet as a part of the family? In reality no one was truly wrong and everyone was to some extent - we all chose to look at things from our point of perspective and defended our views on the subject.

I agree with the poster who talked about turning a negative into a positive. In the heat of the discussion, we all forgot about the wonderful service rescue centers like Cat Angels provide for our animal friends. I, for one, am very grateful centers like that exist. That said, I think shelters have set rules that are too strict for people to comply with, and I am hoping that if we raise awareness to this fact, more animals will indeed be adopted and will enjoy happy lives in their new homes. As I had stated to someone on the board, why would anyone go through all the screenings, pay a fee and live under the threat of having their pet removed over a technicality, when they can just as easily adopt an animal they find advertised on Craigslist or on the newspaper, for free and with no strings attached? Unfortunately, this kind of sentiment leads to animal not finding homes, and from what I heard yesterday, it is quite widespread.

What if we can use the power of the internet to promote adoption, rather than discourage it? This wonderful virtual world is at our fingertips to help us promote awareness and educate people on the benefits of adopting animals, rather than buying one from a breeder. I apologize if I allowed my personal emotions to get in the way of my rational thinking, and I would like for everyone to see that if we invest the same passion into reaching a common goal, everyone is better off because of it.

I would like to ask Cat Angels to be willing to revisit their decision in the case of this particular cat, and to see that each case should be assessed individually. This family never meant the cat any harm, and they love him dearly. Please give them a chance. As for myself, I can pledge that if this situation is turned around, I will gladly use the power of words to help with future adoption efforts. We might not be able to change the whole world, but we can certainly try to improve it the best way we can by focusing on our common goals.

What Kind of People Live in Your City? (How Past Perceptions Affect Future Encounters)

An old man sat outside the walls of a great city. When travelers approached, they would ask the old man, "What kind of people live in this city?" The old man would answer, "What kind of people live in the place where you came from?" If the travelers answered, "Only bad people live in the place where we came from," the old man would reply, "Continue on; you will find only bad people here."

But if the travelers answered, "Good people live in the place where we came from," then the old man would say, "Enter, for here too, you will find only good people." ~Author unknown


I’ve always been fascinated by the patterns unfolding in people’s lives. Although most encounters appear accidental, the unique individuals we attract into our world are often the catalysts of a change, or are able to facilitate a deeper understanding of ourselves.

Our acceptance of the world is largely molded upon our initial caretakers. If, as children, we perceive the people we build bonds with as “good” people, we are more likely to develop satisfactory bonds with others as we move on through life. Since we are “trained” to see the good in others from early on, we tend to focus on the positive side of whoever we meet, and are able to break through their defensive barriers to find their core light.

If, on the contrary, what we have been exposed to is negative, we tend to subconsciously replay those relationships with new people in the hope of understanding what went wrong. The new encounters are just a new spin on an old tale.

It is important to understand that what we perceive as positive or negative in someone might not necessarily reflect reality, but rather it might be the mirrored reflection of a past hurt, or a flashing sign indicating what needs healing within our inner selves.

When we feel the need to lash out at someone, it might be beneficial to stop and wonder why their behavior is upsetting us so much; is this person reflecting a part of our shadow-self we don’t want to face, or even better, is this person triggering an old memory of past hurts?

There is a reason why certain people are crossing our path at this time. Their presence in our world – and the awareness they might be a catalyst for – could easily be a blessing in disguise.

Discipline - The Building Block of a Functional Society (repost)

“Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishments.” ~ Jim Rohn

The main goal of discipline is to teach children self-control and remind them that there are natural consequences to their actions: by repeatedly associating an unpleasant consequence to an unwanted behavior, children are able to learn the difference between what is acceptable and what is not.

In generations past, the rearing of children was much stricter if compared to the standards our society lives by today, but most of those children grew into responsible and creative adults.

Today, in an era of psychological expertise aimed at telling parents how they should raise their children, parents don’t know how to act any more. A new school of thought teaches that parents should praise their children for good behavior and not discipline them; because all children thrive on praise and acceptance – we are told - if rewarded for the good actions, they will try to repeat those behaviors to earn even more positive attention.

Yet, our youth are not thriving. Juvenile crime rates are rising at frightening speed, and our children are caught in a spiral of self-destruction.

As parents are losing their grip on the ability to keep things under control, and feel that society is promoting a new generation of weeping, uncontrolled criminals, new fundamentalist groups are sprouting like poisonous mushrooms on a field. Michael Pearl, the minister who advises parents to beat their children with plastic plumbing supply line, is only one of the radical advocates of parental rights who, sadly, appeal to the weary and frightened parents who no longer know where to turn.

So, parents ask, is there a right way to raise happy children who will become well adjusted, productive adults?

One of the main things to remember is that our children are being raised in a world dominated by societal and peer pressure, and parental skills are compared to those exhibited by theatrical parents on TV sitcoms. Those forever smiling television parents - always available and never losing their cool - are fictional, and it is unfair to use them as a scale to measure real life parents who are weighed down by financial burdens and tighter schedules.

Also, the demands on children are doubling with each passing day, as they are expected to behave like pint-size adults in a society which no longer allows children to be children.

If a child is rambunctious, he or she is quickly diagnosed as having ADD or ADHD, and is medicated to numb the excess energy which no longer has an outlet through creative play and physical activity. In times past, children were able to go outside and play from sunrise to sunset, and were therefore allowed to use the endless supply of energy they are naturally equipped with. In today’s world, children are increasingly kept inside and forced to channel their energy into indoor entertainment, often with the result of living their childhood through the virtual adventures of video games characters.

That said, it is important to understand that discipline is just as important today as it was yesterday, and children need limits and boundaries that will control their natural tendency to go overboard.

There has to be a balance of praise and moderate discipline, so that the child will feel loved, accepted and appreciated, but will also understand what areas of behavior need improvement.

As parents, we have the responsibility of maintaining the reins of this balance, if we ever hope to set the building blocks of a functional society.