I will Miss You...

“No distance of place or lapse of time can lessen the friendship of those who are thoroughly persuaded of each other's worth.” ~Robert Southey


It’s hard to believe it has been two years already since Dena, my consulting editor, suggested I start a blog. Quite unsure of what I should even write about, I started posting twice a week on Blogspot, and for the most part I wrote about things that happened throughout my day. No biggie. A comment here, two there, and weeks continued to pass, until, on the anniversary of Hurricane Katrina, I wrote a post and decided to publish it on a local news site. Given the topic and my out-of-the-box views, the post was quickly assaulted, and my presence online was sealed from that day on.

Following that first post, I started visiting the site more frequently and, soon enough, blogging became a daily appointment. It wasn’t long before I began to export my blog to other sites as well; to date, I post daily to about fifteen sites.

What I thought would be only online friendships evolved into some real life connections as well, something that to this day still blows my mind. Two years ago I was the first person who used to harshly judge meeting people online on the basis that those connections were not safe. Conditioned by an external perception of how dangerous an e-life could be, I, like many others, assumed that mostly predators lurked around cyber realities.

How wrong I was! Many of the people I have met during the last two years are wholesome and kind, giving and compassionate, but mostly, they are people just like me, wading through the waters of life and happy to connect with kindred spirits. Some are serious, some are jokesters, some are happy and some others sad, but as a whole, they have provided a huge cushion of support I felt comfortable to fall upon on days that weren’t quite so brisk.

Whether we have met in person or only virtually, I feel a connection with those I’ve been fortunate enough to meet and talk to on a daily basis. Chatting online has become such a fun part of my morning routine that I miss it terribly when I have to focus on certain projects that require my full attention.

One of those projects is at the door, so I will hardly be online at all next week. Coffee won’t be the same, and as I sit alone working, I will be wondering what everyone is talking about; the silver lining is that I know everyone is still there, and will continue to be there when I get back. That simple knowledge makes me feel very good. So, thank you for that, and know that even if I won’t be talking to you for a few days, you are a very special part of my life.

The Masks We Wear (Repost)

Masks are one of the most remarkable manmade creations used in rituals throughout recorded history, used by our ancestors to form a bridge between themselves and the Divine. Though in modern times the mask has a negative connotation of disguise with the intent to deceive, the ancient world perceived masks as tools of revelation, a connection to invisible powers.

“Identity masks” are often worn to hide the vulnerable parts of ourselves, and most of them are molded in response to societal demands, parental suggestions and peer pressure. Most of us wear some sort of mask to introduce ourselves to the world. It is not done to deceive anybody; rather, it is an effort we make to ensure that we are accepted and loved by others. Many feel that they could not be accepted for who they truly are, so they slip the mask on. Sometimes they become so used to doing it, that they are unable themselves to differentiate who they truly are from who they believe people want them to be.

We constantly blame the world for not accepting us for who we are, yet we don’t fully accept ourselves. We would rather go on and be who we are not, rather than recognize that the standards we measure ourselves against are manmade and often based on others’ perceptions of good and bad. The person who lives inside of us may be scared, bruised, shy, but it is rarely bad. The need to hide behind a mask is self-imposed, and as such it can be eliminated.

If we take a glimpse of our true selves, who are we, really? Are we truly the person we are portraying? Or is that person someone our caregivers and societies wanted it to be? Do we really believe what we claim to believe? Do we really despise what we assert to despise? Or have we grown to believe we do just because it would make someone else happy and proud?

What about you? Who is the true self hidden behind your mask?

New Journey

Today my son is leaving for Italy. The trip we thought would never arrive is finally here. The last few days flew by in a flurry of activity, and all the while, Michael’s excitement continued to grow.

Yesterday afternoon, as I closed his suitcase after putting in the last few items, I thought back about all the work of the past few days – clothes shopping, haircut, last minute gifts to send to grandparents – and all the surface stress that went with it. We lost keys, missed swim practice sessions for my daughter, forgot items we needed, and we constantly felt we were running out of time.

Preparing for a long trip is not too different than preparing for a new chapter in life – you work, work, and then work some more, and you feel that you are never going to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Then, suddenly, things seem to slow down, activity ceases, and the rush of adrenaline settles. Everything – or mostly everything, at least – is in place and it is time to recharge as we wait for changes to come.

Last night felt like that. We had been running around for so long that our pace became naturally accelerated. Slowing down felt strange and gave us a feeling of leaving something undone; yet, all the ties were pulled and secured in a knot. Once all the hard work was in place, it was time to take a step back, assess what we have accomplished and finally relax.

We grilled steaks – one of Michael’s favorite meals – and sat around on the deck talking about all the cool things he’s going to see and all the fun he is going to have. Today is going to be a long day for him, but a very exciting one all the same. He is flying to New York, and then directly to Italy, all alone for the first time. For him, this is a trial by fear, but one he is eager to take. Overcoming his fears of traveling alone feels, to him, like a badge of honor he will finally get to wear, one which will identify him as a young adult. And, the prize at the end of the race is way sweet – with grandparents eager to embrace the role of “serial spoilers” Michael already knows he is in for the treat of his life.

We typically become stressed whenever we prepare for something new, afraid to mess it up somehow, or to forget something important. Our energy gets sucked away, much like ocean water receding into the depths only to come back tenfold in the impetus of a large wave. It’s almost as if the energy we seem to throw around is needed to pack the punch before whatever is coming can make its grand entrance into our lives.

I try to think of this any time my own life seems to slow down, or all my hard work appears scattered to the four winds. None of the energy is really lost or useless, and it will all pay off in the end. For Michael pay day is today.