Wednesday, March 11, 2009


People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within. - Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

From the time they are born, humans need interaction with one another. Many studies have shown that children who lacked bonding with at least a caregiver during the first years of life have a greater tendency of developing sociopathic traits during their adult life.

Regardless of how much or little attention any of us are given, we mold our lives in response to our environment. Others dictate our self-image and worth by mechanically feeding our needs of confirmation.

Life appears easy for those who seem to have it all – looks, money, success - yet, many of these people aren’t happy. They become so accustomed to associating their self-worth and identity with the positive feedback they receive while riding the crest that if anything happens – or threatens to happen – to mar the assets they are loved for, they take a nose dive into self-pity, and they struggle to merely survive. Hollywood and music stars often stumble into the same trap. They are repeatedly told how gorgeous, talented and powerful they are, but when age or a different trend in their sector threaten their future popularity they become overwhelmed and seek solace in numbing substances.

Real people’s lives are no different. Many of us measure our worth against a superficial scale and if something comes along to undermine the identity we have built we are likely to become anxious and depressed. It is easy to feel wonderful when everything runs smooth, and people feed us positive energy. Nobody is more agreeable than the person everyone agrees with and adores.

But what happens when the going gets tough and, suddenly, the outside feed is suspended? Many will go to extremes, and morph in such ways that will ensure their energetic survival. They learn how to thrive on positive and negative energy alike, and they will associate to people they perceive stronger to appear more likeable.

Being in good terms with our inner person is essential if one chooses to be happy. True acceptance needs to initiate inside of us, not outside. Love from others will come once we have become comfortable with loving ourselves and enjoying our own company.

Love is the glue that keeps us connected to others and to ourselves, but before we can reach out to others - or hope that others will reach out to us - we must extend that hand to ourselves.

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