Stepping Stones to Hope

Good morning, everybody!

As many friends from GoLo already know, last year I started a group called A Blog for Hope, a local effort to help members of the GoLo online community who are struggling in the harsh economy.

This morning, a twin group to Blog for Hope was born. Stepping Stones to Hope was created with two goals in mind - raising funds for Blog for Hope, and providing a space where donors can claim a little spot for themselves or others they care about to be remembered in love.

When a donation is sent to Blog for Hope, the name of the donor will be "engraved" on one of the stepping stones, and added to our lawn. Donors can also choose to have a different name on the stone, such as names of friends they wish to honor, or loved ones they would like to remember.

We are also creating a Rainbow Path to honor our pets who have departed. If you would like to do something special to commemorate your pet, please send us a photo (optional) and the pet's name, and a special stepping stone will be added.

This group is still under construction, so please bear with us as we try to work out the details.

Details on donation can be found on the group's main page, http://www.wral.com/golo/profile/6821907/

Although donations will strictly help members of the GoLo online community, I feel that others can benefit from the joy of being able to commemorate their loved ones, thus the decision to share this information outside of the GoLo community was reached.

Thank you for your support, and may you be blessed in all your endeavors. :-)

Right to Privacy or Self-Isolation?

“It means a great deal to those who are oppressed to know that they are not alone. And never let anyone tell you that what you are doing is insignificant” -Bishop Desmond Tutu


While I was growing up, people related to one another differently than they do today. Everybody knew everybody. As annoying as it was that your neighbor knew whom you were going out on a date with before you did, the closeness served a purpose: We all felt like we were part of a big family.

Then I grew up; I moved away, and times changed. In eleven years living in my first house, I probably met six neighbors; in my new house about eight. In fact, more than meeting them, I can honestly say we have passed one another while walking our pets or children and smiled cordially. No warmth there, aside from a pasted smile after a long day at work and a standard, automated greeting.

People of our generation have become isolated. They meet on predetermined social occasions, and maybe even talk on the phone often, but the camaraderie of having a “Rhoda” busting through our unlocked door is something that’s only preserved on “The Mary Tyler Moore” show.

Regardless of race, religious beliefs, political affiliations and other societal boundaries, we are all human beings and all are on the same boat sharing a journey. Larger cities with a high density of population such as New York or LA are even worse - millions of people live there, but many of them keep a constant shield in front of their hearts, afraid to meet or talk to a stranger.

We hide and isolate ourselves to be safe, to have space, to protect our rights to privacy; yet all that we are doing is creating widespread loneliness. Human beings have an innate need to connect to one another – whenever we go in the opposite direction, honoring fear, doubt and unfounded judgment, we do not do ourselves any favors. If we could take down the shield and show who we truly are – exposing the core of our weaknesses and strengths – we would be surprised at just how many people share our same feelings. Once the connection is made, everyone feels better simply by knowing they are not alone – someone understands what they are going through.

Why can’t we connect the same way with everyone we meet? Do we need to walk up a mountain to know the path is steep? In order to expect others to open up to us and be willing to connect, we have to start with ourselves.

We are all unique and important in our own individual ways, yet we are all fruits of the same tree – there is no reason for us to fall so far apart.

Today's Blog for Hope

(Please note that every Saturday my blog tends to focus on my local GOLO community blog to help others in our community, found at the Raleigh-area GOLO site as a regular feature called "Blog for Hope")

For my generation, the hardship we are living today is the sad incarnation of all the stories we heard our parents and grandparents tell when they shared stories of their youth. We never thought we would experience anything similar, and probably rolled our eyes in desperation when they told us about their sacrifices over and over again. Life couldn’t be that hard, we surely thought, they are just blowing it up for shock effect. Today we are getting a taste of extreme financial hardship within our own realities, and suddenly we know our parents weren’t joking after all.

Communities have felt the need to reach out internally and create a web of neighborly support, while many businesses have silently closed their doors after years of service. Home owners are desperate to sell their houses, but can’t afford the cost of giving their home a little facelift which will make it stand out in the overly saturated market.

Jeff Harless Painting has been able, so far, to hold its own, although it could use a little boost of business. Located in Spring Hope NC, this venture is family owned and operated, and hung its first shingle in 1999. They offer interior and exterior painting for both residential and commercial. They also provide small home repairs, lying of vinyl flooring, cabinet refinishing, staining, deck repair and construction, pressure washing, installation of gutters, replacement of damaged siding on homes and a variety of other services.

Why, you will ask, do I find this company particularly attractive?

Quoting the words of the owner: “We are at this time reducing our prices due to the economy. I feel sure that if a prospective customer has a bid for painting or repair from a reputable company we can beat their prices as to where the customer will save a noticeable amount. However, these times call for us to, in some cases, be willing to negotiate a price based on the need and financial situation of the customer. We match the paint type based on the need of the customer. Customer satisfaction is the best advertisement we have. We thrive for all customers to be completely satisfied upon completion of the job. We always clean our job sites to be at or near the condition before beginning the job. We have a lengthy list of references. 100% of our jobs for the past five years have been because our customers have referred us to others.”

Jeff Harless Painting is a Christian-owned activity, and it is greatly praised by customers for their high business ethics, integrity and honesty.

If anyone is interested in their services, they can be reached at 252-478-4779.

It is time for our community to take care of its own. Why not start by taking care of the repairs we need at a price we can afford?

Discipline: The Building Block of a Functional Society

The main goal of discipline is to teach children self-control and remind them that there are natural consequences to their actions: by repeatedly associating an unpleasant consequence to an unwanted behavior, the children are able to learn the difference between what is acceptable and what is not.

In generations past, the rearing of children was stricter when compared to the standards our society lives by today, and most of those children grew into responsible and creative adults.

Today, in an era of psychological expertise aimed at telling parents how they should raise their children, parents don’t know how to act any more. A new school of thought teaches that parents should praise their children for good behavior and not discipline them; because all children thrive on praise and acceptance, if rewarded for the good actions, they will try to repeat those behaviors to earn even more positive attention.

Yet, our youth is not thriving. Juvenile crime rates are rising at frightening speed, and our children are caught in a spiral of self-destruction.

As parents are losing their grip on the ability to keep things under control, and feel that society is promoting a new generation of weeping, uncontrolled criminals, new fundamentalist groups are sprouting like poisonous mushrooms on a field. Michael Pearl, the minister who advises parents to beat their children with plastic plumbing supply line, is only one of the radical advocates of parental rights who, sadly, appeal to the weary and frightened parents who no longer know where to turn.

So, parents ask, is there a right way to raise happy children who will become well adjusted, productive adults?

One of the main things to remember is that our children are being raised in a world dominated by societal and peer pressure, and parental skills are compared to those exhibited by theatrical parents on TV sitcoms. Those forever smiling television parents-always available and never losing their cool-are not real and it is unfair to use them as a scale to measure real life parents, who are weighed down by financial burdens and tighter schedules.

Also, the demands on children are doubling with each passing day, as they are expected to behave like pint size adults in a society which no longer allows children to be children.
If a child is rambunctious, he or she is quickly diagnosed as having ADD or ADHD, and is medicated to numb the excess energy which no longer has an outlet through creative play and physical activity.

In the old days, children were able to go outside and play from sunrise to sunset, and were therefore allowed to use the endless supply of energy that they are naturally equipped with. In today’s world, children are increasingly kept inside and forced to channel their energy into indoor entertainment, often with the result of living their childhood through the virtual adventures of video games characters.

With that said, it is important to understand that discipline is just as important today as it was yesterday, and children need limits and boundaries that will control their natural tendency to go overboard.

There has to be a balance of praise and moderate discipline, so that the child will feel loved, accepted and appreciated, but will also understand what areas of behavior need improvement.As parents, we have the responsibility of maintaining the reins of this balance, if we ever hope to set the building blocks of a functional society.