The Treadmill

When my mother mentioned buying a treadmill once, my father looked at her with a slightly surprised frown on his face. “That contraption won’t take you anywhere,” he said, “you walk and walk, and you never move from the point you started.” It was a joke, of course, but when I thought about those words later on in life, I realized they can be applied to more than exercise.

A treadmill is surely a great invention – one can walk in the comfort of one’s own home, sheltered from petty crime, elements, and even loneliness, as a TV is often nearby; one can also exercise without getting dressed, as a treadmill, thankfully, has no mirrors. Those are all great advantages, and it is understandable why many prefer walking on a rolling mat than on a sidewalk, but, like all things, even treadmills have downfalls.

Growing up in the city I walked everywhere, and it wasn’t long before I started noticing life exploding all around me as I did. While walking to school in the mornings, I always passed by a bakery owned by the father of one of my friends. I still remember the fragrant aroma of freshly baked focaccia, as it escaped the poorly sealed door like a genie freed from of a bottle. As I waited from my friend – she used to go help her parents at the bakery before school – I often stood outside the door, watching people walk in and out of the café directly across the street. For a few mornings, I had noticed a boy who always seemed to walk into the cafe staring down at his feet; after a few moments inside, he always came out holding a small white paper bag and never looked up. That morning he dropped his paper bag, and while normally I would have just remained frozen by the door, I had a sudden burst of courage, walked over, picked up the bag and handed it to him. He raised his eyes and smiled at me, and when he did, I noticed the skin on his neck was badly damaged from a bad burn. When he saw me looking at it, he quickly looked down, but I told him my name and asked for his. That morning marked the beginning of a good friendship that lasted many years and was a great source of support while growing up.

I still like to walk. Over the years, walking has allowed me to witness many situations I have learned something from, and has gifted me with opportunities to notice the unpretentious beauty of things and people around me. Many of those things would have gone completely unnoticed had I chosen to walk on a treadmill instead.

We often give up on exploring opportunities because we are afraid to detach from a false sense of security and comfort, at the cost of isolating and limiting ourselves. We contemplate the need of making changes in our world, but more times than not, we are not ready to let go of what’s holding us back. Even when we are unhappy of our current situation, we stick with it because it feels familiar, because we don’t want to stir the pot, because, ultimately, we are afraid of upsetting the order of things and getting lost in the shuffle. We have the power to change, and yet many of us continue walking on the treadmill, basking in the illusion that we ARE doing something while in fact we are not. In the end, we CAN turn off the switch, step off and walk outside into the real world; when we do, we will truly know we are getting somewhere.

The Tree House

"In order to reach your goals, you will have to climb a long way and be frightened. But take it a step at a time"

Those were the words a kind uncle uttered one day, as his young niece expressed her fear of climbing the ladder leading to the tree house he had built. Their home was a two- story Victorian with a steep pitched roof. The tree house was in an old Oak tree, and it was higher than the roof top of the Victorian house. To the little girl who stood at the bottom of the tree, the tree house seemed to float above the clouds, and she was apprehensive about going up. Despite her fears, her uncle gently nudged her to start climbing.

Many years later, as she worked her way through college, and struggled juggling jobs and school work, the girl always remembered that day, and thoughts of the tree house propelled her forward toward achieving greater heights.

Even if the heights we are attempting to reach are not unthinkable ones, it is quite common to be frightened when we contemplate our goals. Just like the tree house, our dreams seem exceedingly distant and it is easy to forget that each step gets us closer to destination.

We may not see the results right away, and that’s usually discouraging. Once a goal is set, faith must carry us the rest of the way. We can’t look down, or else we will fall. We can only go forward, one step at a time, knowing that we WILL get to the tree house if we keep up our efforts.

Growing up, I had a friend who had weight problems. Periodically, she would get motivated to try a new diet, but after following it for a week or two, she would give up. When I asked why she didn’t stick with the regimen, she always replied that she wasn’t losing any weight anyway. In reality, it was not true. Even after a week, one could tell that something was slightly changing, but it would have taken several weeks to see noticeable results. The change was not dramatic enough to keep her committed to her goal.

A few years ago, I ran into her while visiting my parents, and saw that she had lost an amazing amount of weight. When I asked her what had finally worked, she said: "I just decided to stick with the diet, regardless of the immediate lack of reward." Although she could not see tangible results, she had decided to have faith and continue – the pounds began to melt off, and a new woman, smiling and confident, was born.

Fear of failure is probably the greatest deterrent of going far. We are afraid of not making it, so we don’t even try. Once that fear is conquered, and faith takes over, the worst is done.

The little girl of the story had a special place in the heart for the uncle that encouraged her to climb the tree house and she will always know that when she is scared of anything, she can think of that beautiful, sunny day.

I am certain her uncle, who recently passed away, is smiling down at her from the top of the tree house, proud of all she has conquered. In fact, I think he is doing that right now.

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Down to the Single Units

“When you're feeling down just hold your head up high and don't think of the whole big thing. Just focus on doing one thing at a time. You'll see that you will accomplish a lot, if not everything at the end of the day.” ~ Author unknown

Occasionally, when I go shopping for groceries I also purchase a small bouquet of flowers to display on the kitchen table. There is something special about fresh flowers in the winter – their fragrance can turn the grayest of days into a sudden burst of spring.

Yesterday I brought home a bouquet of mixed field flowers. I removed the wrap and looked for scissors to trim the ends. I couldn’t find the “good” pair, so I had to settle for the ones that don’t cut too well. When I tried to cut the stems they only bent, so I tried to apply more pressure to see if it would help; again, the stems bent a bit more but still remained attached to the flowers. I gave up my original thought of cutting the bunch of them and focused on severing one at a time. When I tried to cut just one, the blades of the scissors went through the single stem like a knife cutting butter. If I had followed that approach from the beginning, instead than trying to get all the stems cut at the same time, I would have finished sooner rather than later.

Many of us approach most tasks in the same fashion, only to become discouraged and overwhelmed by the mere thought of getting started. We try to tackle the whole array of tasks as a collective unit, and end up just getting irritated by our inability to succeed.

Huge undertakings are seen as a wall looming in front of us, which will suck our life energy as we try to either climb over it or remove it from our path. It is significant to remember that no matter how solid the wall might appear, it is not a large single unit we are powerless against, but rather a group of many smaller units connected together to form a larger structure. We might not be able to move the wall from the path as a whole, but we are certainly strong enough to remove one brick at a time.

When we feed energy toward removing the whole wall, we set ourselves up for failure and create an excuse why we shouldn’t even attempt. If, instead, we pace ourselves and focus on removing one brick at a time, we are able to direct our energy where it will make a difference.

We could push the wall for hours without moving it an inch and easily fall into the grip of frustration, but we can instantly see the brick taken from its original position and moved where we want it. With each brick that we move, we wall is less threatening. Small successes can add up and trigger strong feelings of self-satisfaction and worth, as we are able to see results of our applied effort almost immediately.

So whether we are facing cutting the stems of a bouquet of flowers, removing debris from our path, losing unwanted weight, or facing a daunting task of any nature, it is helpful if we break the structure of what we are hoping to conquer into small units that we can focus on one at a time. By doing so we are not neglecting the whole, but rather we are ensuring that each part of it is properly addressed and polished to perfection.

One More Shot at New Year's Resolution

“When nothing seems to help, I go and look at a stonecutter hammering away at his rock perhaps a hundred times without as much as a crack showing in it. Yet at the hundred and first blow it will split in two, and I know it was not that blow that did it - but all that had gone before.” ~ Jacob Riis


Once again, we are preparing to usher in a new year. In the midst of a flurry of traditions and celebrations, many are working on their list of resolutions. The list most often includes lifestyle improvements such as quitting smoking or drinking, healthier eating habits and weight loss.

Making a list is an easy thing; getting started with the best of intentions is the next easy thing; then, when all the easy stuff has run its course, the hard part begins: sticking with our resolutions. After the original steam has evaporated, the long-term benefits of the choice we made are still floating somewhere at the edges of the mind, but they suddenly don’t seem so important any more, when compared with the immediate struggles we are facing on the journey toward our destination. Eight times out of ten, New Year resolutions die in their infancy.

Many approach their resolutions with determination, but if they trip and fall even once, they often feel that the battle is lost for one more year, and they are ready to give it up until the next January first. Imagine if babies gave up trying to walk after they fell once or even a handful of times, and they didn’t try again until they turned a year older. With each fall, their brains record the experience and work relentlessly to avoid the same obstacles; they might require several tries, and several bumps, but eventually they learn to coordinate their movements in such a way that they fall less and less. Their success does not depend on the last time they stood up and took three steps without falling, but on the countless times before, when they took one step and fell down.

We might have tried the same resolution more times than we can count on the fingers of two hands, but each time we make an attempt at conquering our goal our chances of success are greater. Surely, we might fall again, but we could also be ready to finally walk alone. And if we do fail again, it’s good to know that it wasn’t in vain.

Falling is not an excuse for giving up on trying, but an opportunity to learn what didn’t work, so we’ll have more chances to succeed when we stand up and give it another shot.

Instant Reward vs Long-Term Benefits

“Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation leans on the doorbell.” ~ Author Unknown

Yesterday I had the best time talking to my daughter and two of her little friends, as they were telling me what they want to be when they grow up. Although Princess was definitely on top of the chart, the next two hot personas on the “want to be” list were mommy and model.

That fun talk made me think about all the projects that we envision and give up because of obstacles and hardship. Are obstacles the main reason for abandoning our goals? Or could it be that instant reward often gets in the way of our allegiance to the original plan?

Humans are naturally creatures of comfort, and will choose the easy path that will cause the least amount of unease. Unless we are able to exercise a good dose of self-discipline, most of us are inclined to take the easy road and succumb to the temptation of instant reward.

Long-term benefits offer a reward which is often in our greater interest but might take months or years to solidify, while temporary satisfaction manifest immediately but is likely not what we need in the long run. When we give in to temptation we feel momentarily exhilarated, but quickly develop feelings of guilt as we feel that we have cheated ourselves. Instant reward can come in the form of indulgence or as a band-aid – regardless of which we act upon, we feel frustrated with ourselves and are more likely to give in on future occasions.

There are ways to build a stronger resolve. One of them is to set small goals for ourselves - not too far down the road - and stick with them, independently from the fires that erupt around us. We can increase the amount of time between the original plan and the reward and continue telling ourselves that it is only a temporary state of discomfort.

Everything can be overcome one step at a time, if we accept that life itself is dynamic and thus on a constant energy shift. If I was to wake up tomorrow morning and someone told me to quit smoking forever, I would find that thought overwhelming; if, instead, I was told to quit for a day, or an hour at a time, I could summon the resolve to follow through for such a short time. We can’t keep our mind focused on forever but everyone can sacrifice for one day.

Maybe, then, our long-term reward can become a much closer goal – one we can feel comfortable sticking with in preparation of bigger things to come.

The Tree House

“In order to reach your goals, you will have to climb a long way and be frightened. But take it a step at a time”


Those were the words a kind uncle uttered one day, as his young niece expressed her fear of climbing the ladder leading to the tree house he had built. Their home was a two-story Victorian with a steep pitched roof - the tree house was in an old oak tree, and it was higher than the roof top of the Victorian house. To the little girl who stood at the bottom of the tree, the tree house seemed to float above the clouds, and she was apprehensive about going up. Despite her fears, her uncle gently nudged her to start climbing.

Many years later, as she worked her way through college, and struggled to juggle jobs and school work, the girl always remembered that day, and thoughts of the tree house propelled her forward toward achieving greater heights.
Even if the heights we are attempting to reach are not unthinkable ones, it is quite common to be frightened when we contemplate our goals. Just like the tree house, our dreams seem exceedingly distant and it is easy to forget that each step gets us closer to destination.

We may not see the results right away, and that’s usually discouraging. Once a goal is set, faith must carry us the rest of the way. We can’t look down, or else we will fall. We can only go forward, one step at a time, knowing that we WILL get to the tree house if we keep up our efforts.

Growing up, I had a friend who had weight problems. Periodically, she would get motivated to try a new diet, but after following it for a week or two, she would give up. When I asked why she didn’t stick with the regimen, she always replied that she wasn’t losing any weight anyway. In reality, it was not true. Even after a week, one could tell that something was slightly changing, but it would have taken several weeks to see noticeable results. The change was not dramatic enough to keep her committed to her goal.

A few years ago, I ran into her while visiting my parents, and saw that she had lost an amazing amount of weight. When I asked her what had finally worked, she said: “I just decided to stick with the diet, regardless of the immediate lack of reward.” Although she could not see tangible results, she had decided to have faith and continue – the pounds began to melt off, and a new woman, smiling and confident, was born.

Fear of failure is probably the greatest deterrent of going far. We are afraid of not making it, so we don’t even try. Once that fear is conquered, and faith takes over, the worst is done.

The little girl of the story had a special place in the heart for the uncle that encouraged her to climb the tree house and she will always know that when she is scared of anything, she can think of that beautiful, sunny day. I am certain her uncle, who recently passed away, is smiling down at her from the top of the tree house, proud of all she has conquered. In fact, I think he is doing that right now.

Reaching for the Moon

“Far away in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow where they lead.” ~ Louisa May Alcott

When I was a young girl, my family and I lived in a high-rise apartment building in the heart of the city. I loved sitting on the balcony at night, when the noise from the street had finally quieted down and the horizon came to life as a parade of lights. I especially loved to sit out there when the moon was full, since I find very few things to be as impressive and mystical as the jolly, tangerine-hued face of the moon peeking through the buildings. One night, it looked so big that I distinctly remember thinking I could touch it if I just reached far enough.

Although touching the moon was not an option, I still enjoyed the feeling of peace and the pale light which seemed to enshroud everything in a silvery cloak of dreams and magic.

Not everyone dreams of touching the moon, but most of us set goals for ourselves. Some of the goals are little more than a speck of hope in the far distance, while some others are immediate plans we set out to achieve in our daily lives. Regardless of how practical, unthinkable, big or small our goals are, they can be achieved. If someone has reached them before us, it only means that a door must exist to get there. It may not be the first one we knock on, or even the second or third ones, but a path to our dreams certainly exists, if we are willing to put in the footwork to find it.

I remember having this conversation with my son, one night, while he was telling me about his passion for drumming. He felt that becoming a professional drummer is an impossible dream and he should focus on something more “concrete”. Given that he was raised by me, I was speechless…impossible? Nothing is impossible. The road might be rocky, and the journey a rough one, but if one has a clear destination in mind, going from point A to point B can definitely be in the cards.

Sticking with a personal goal is simpler than most think, as long as we realize that initial failure is nothing more than a stepping stone toward future success. An old proverb even states that we should fall seven times and get up eight.

Short-term goals are probably the hardest ones to keep up with, as what motivates us to achieve them rarely originates in the fire of an individual’s inner passion; our resolve can easily deflate and we lose our momentum. By setting small goals and working toward them, we raise our inner bar of self-discipline, and through the joy of humble victories along the way we train for the marathon of touching the moon.

We don’t need to set our goals into the future – today is as good a day as any to get motivated, set goals, and begin to make changes, even if small ones. After all, all great runners started once by learning how to put one foot in front of the other. Time and persistence did the rest.