Individuality as an Asset

“A man who does not think for himself does not think at all.” ~ Oscar Wilde


Yesterday afternoon, as I sat with my son to work on some Algebra problems, I scanned through the math workbook and tried explaining the different steps he should follow. He was lost at first, so I solved one of the problems and hoped that he would see the pattern. He looked at it for a minute, then grabbed a piece of paper and wrote something down. I hadn’t the foggiest idea of what he was doing, but when he finished the result was the same as mine. I gave him two other problems, and I solved them myself separately – once again, the results matched. When I looked at the steps he had taken, they made absolute sense, although I probably would not have followed that same path to get to the solution. The way he processed the problem was not a conventional one, yet it led to correct results.

Each of us is an original, and thus we cannot be replicated. We spend large portions of our lives trying to be someone else just to belong, and if we can’t identify with our fellow humans through a similarity of appearance or thought we feel like the proverbial oddball, and often doubt our self-worth.

We can never truly be like the person in front of us, or like the one behind us for that matter, simply because they are not us. The way we live our lives - and the path we follow to seek a solution - are not better or worse than others, they are just different; they are our way, our unique approach.

One of the greatest evils of societies is the tendency to sacrifice individuality in favor of the collective good, but a society without free thinking is nothing more than an assembly line spitting out generalized concepts. In order to evolve, great minds must be allowed to unlock their hidden potential. What counts is the final result, not the path we have chosen to get to destination. Each of us is important and irreplaceable, and we should honor our individuality, instead than feeling inferior or superior because we are doing things differently than anyone else.

Similarly, we must respect the uniqueness of others, and their contribution to the whole. As Oscar Wilde so eloquently said: “A red rose is not selfish because it wants to be a red rose. It would be horribly selfish if it wanted all the other flowers in the garden to be red and roses.”

So be who you are, always. Respect that in the greater scheme of things you are one-of-a-kind and you are exactly who and what you need to be, at the very place and time you need to be there. Just because your potential is not visible at this moment doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist, but rather it means that it probably won’t unlock until you use a different key.

The Stranger Within

It is rare to find an individual who is comfortable sitting in silence, allowing his or her mind to be still. Perhaps this is intentional, more than we care to admit.
We do this whenever we claim to need “me” time, but fill our quiet moments alone with people and activities.
We need to be brutally honest and recognize that we fill our lives with clutter—sometimes intentionally, sometimes passively—but we allow it just the same. Anything to avoid being alone with ourselves.
We all know people who seem afraid to be alone. They always need to be with someone, on the phone, or online interacting in some way just to avoid having a chat with themselves.
Most are running from something...a memory, a feeling, an abandoned dream. It is very hard to know what we are running away from until we've taken time to listen, but the whispers we hear from within can be distressing. It's easier to contain our thoughts and emotions rather than face them.
By doing this, we only increase the pressure within. Relieving this inner pressure does not require a lot of time. Ten minutes a day is often enough to clear away the clutter in our minds. Sit still and observe the internal chatter. Meditate. Pray. Just pay attention.
Somehow we must remove the incessant needless distractions from our lives. We need time to go within and listen. More than anything we need to stop running from ourselves.
If we don't put forth effort to try to hear our own voice, why should we expect anyone else to listen to us?