Colors of the World (repost)

When you look at it in a mean way, how mean it is! When you look at it selfishly, how selfish it is! But when you look at it in a broad, generous, friendly spirit, what wonderful people you find in it.~ Horace Rutledge

I always find it interesting that my husband and I can meet the same people and have an entirely different impression of them. Similarly, our views of current events are also very conflicting at times.

My husband sees the world as a hostile environment, where ruthless people are consistently arranging their days around taking advantage of others. He is a news addict, and will – after a day of stress and countless exchanges – use his entire evening to hear more and more distressing segments, nodding his head when someone makes a statement of impending doom.

I am the opposite side of the coin. I peruse the paper every morning but focus mostly on the positive news. I don’t believe we live in a perfect world, but I don’t believe our world is all that bad either. We have conflicts, hardship and everyday obstacles, but so has had every generation before us.

I don’t believe people are any worse today than they were yesterday; we are simply more aware of events and heinous acts because of the advent of widespread media. I don’t think there are more child molesters loose on the streets; the only difference between yesterday and today is that in the old days we didn’t know of a child who had been kidnapped three states away, and victims were more reticent to come forth and point a finger at their abusers; dirty laundry was, more or less, washed at home.

It is human nature to be fearful and doubtful. It is also another human flaw to be easily influenced by negative suggestions. Since childhood we are conditioned to be afraid and careful. Germs will hurt us; friends have a double agenda; strangers will kill us; very few caregivers ever explain to children that stress and fear make us sick worse than germs, most friends don’t have hidden plans, and the majority of strangers will only kill us with a smile. Personally, I refuse to live in a world where I have to feel fearful and defensive at all times. I do believe in destiny, and I think that if something is meant to happen to me, it will happen regardless of how paranoid or relaxed I am.

Everything in our world is dual; we can choose to look at one face of it or the other. Electricity can warm us and provide light, but can also be used to electrocute; water is healing and soothing but can also be employed to drown someone; fire is warm and inviting but can also char everything on its path; air can be uplifting and wind relaxing, yet it can carry a blaze across forested areas.

There are always two ways to look at the same thing; it is up to us to decide which color of lens we choose to wear when we take a look around.

The Sad Cashier

“Love me when I least deserve it, because that’s when I really need it.” ~ Swedish proverb.

Just a few days ago, I went to a store and waited in line while the cashier took care of the long line of people in front of me. Even as I leafed through a magazine to pass time, I couldn’t help noticing with the corner of my eye that the cashier was edgy and seemed to be absent-minded.

I heard a couple of snappy comments directed at her, so I put down the magazine and just watched. Oblivious to the negative vibe she was quite clearly fostering around her, the cashier continued to scan items, any trace of a smile as absent from her face as sunlight on Pluto.

When my turn finally came, I put my items on the counter and watched the cashier more closely. She scanned a couple of things and looked at her wrist watch before grabbing a few more items; the pattern repeated a few times, and the anxiety on her face seemed to grow by the minute.

My first assumption was that she was eager to finish her shift, but on second thought she seemed too edgy for that to be the only reason for her scattered behavior, so I simply smiled at her and asked her if she was okay. She looked up, smiled sadly and said that she was fine but was worried about a close member of her family who was undergoing surgery at that moment. I told her I was sorry to hear and she replied that she was waiting for a phone call to confirm that the surgery had gone well.

I tried to fit her shoes for a moment, and wondered how I would feel in her position – certainly just as edgy. I thought back about the people who had shown obvious reproach at her behavior and realized then how often most of us jump to conclusions without knowing the facts. I asked the girl if she wanted to go ahead and call her family while I was there, using the excuse of a price check. She declined my offer, but the smile on her face was one of relief – although she was still worried, the fact alone of being able to voice out her worries with someone immediately lifted her spirits. I wished her loved one a speedy recovery on my way out and left the store.

We rarely know what’s going on in the lives of those we cross paths with every day. We set certain standards in our minds, and frown if the person we meet falls short of our expectations; this individual could have a thousand and one reasons to act a certain way, but, unwilling as we are to give anyone the benefit of the doubt, we judge their situations and make unfounded assumptions.

Reaching out to others is certainly more productive than lashing out at them. The reward we receive is undoubtedly greater, and it is worth the few extra seconds we have chosen to invest.

The Two Wolves

While many of us remained painfully glued to TV screens as Shaniya Davis’s body finally surfaced, the minds of most struggled to wrap around whatever could have possibly motivated her mother to open the door to such evil. A short story came to mind, one I read a long time ago which always stuck with me. I don’t suppose anyone has any doubts as to which wolf Shaniya’s mother fed.

“An old Cherokee man went walking in the mountains with his grandson. They sat on a rock and observed a pack of wolves in the distance.

The old man told his grandson: “Do you see those wolves over there?”

When the young man nodded, the old Cherokee continued. “At all times, there are two wolves living inside each of us. One is greedy, aggressive, envious, fearful and confrontational. The other is gentle, nurturing, embracing, trusting, peaceful and humble. The two are at odds with each other and fight incessantly.”

The young man remained silent and continued to stare at the wolves in the distance; then he turned toward his grandfather and said: “Which of the two wolves survives the fight and lives?”

The old Cherokee man replied: “The one you feed”.”

It is too late for Shaniya, but it is not late for each of us to take a moment and look within our own lives to see what type of feelings we allow our energy to feed. Change does begin with ourselves and ripples outward toward the rest of the world, touching and empowering other lives as it moves.