Changes

“Be the change you want to see in the world” ~ Mahatma Gandhi

A few days ago one of my children threw an empty soda can in the trash. When I asked him why he hadn’t thrown it into the recycling bin we keep in the garage, his answer was: “I had no shoes on. It was easier to just throw it in the regular trash; one can is not going to make much of a difference.”

Perhaps one can doesn’t make a difference, but 6,763,557,000 might.

As of May 31, 2009, the Earth's population is estimated by the United States Census Bureau to be 6,763,557,000 - What if each of those people threw one single can in the trash? In one day they would fill several warehouses with materials we can otherwise recycle and put back into production.

Many times we feel that what we can do individually is not enough, and we assume that any effort we put forth will be quickly drowned by the opposing force. It is not necessarily so. Each person, each action, each thought and word has power over the whole, and can easily create a ripple effect which can lead to greater things. Marathons start with a first tentative step; great books and speeches start with the one word.

Each of us is individually responsible for the collective wellbeing, and unless we are ready to do our part to reverse the damage around us, we lose the right to complain about the outcome.

A friend sent me the link to a video which I would like to share with you. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K6msKrqmN3w&feature=player_embedded It is very powerful and concise but it certainly drives the point home better than many videos or lectures I’ve seen in the past.

Change is possible, but not until we accept that it must start with ourselves.

Anger - The Mask Of Inner Fear

“Fear is a dark room where negatives develop.” ~ Author unknown

Being afraid has often been considered a weakness, so many have come to hide fear and dress it as anger and self-righteousness, since aggression is labeled as an attribute of the strong.

A few days ago I was talking to a friend whose husband faces a long battle with cancer. Although she has asserted being preoccupied with his state of health on a few occasions, her mind is usually consumed by questions of a different nature, and spends her days wondering if he is faithful to her. When she is not directly entertaining thoughts of indiscretions, she is simply angry at everybody – her children, store attendants, perfect strangers.

Since she couldn’t come up with any “evidence” that would support her doubts, I asked her why she felt so sure that her husband was doing something wrong – from all I’ve ever seen and heard he is attentive and honest.

She tried to come up with an answer, but all her mind was able to concoct was easily explainable. She had no case, yet her anger was growing by the minute; just talking about it was causing her deep distress.

It occurred to me that maybe there was more to her seething anger than what she allowed to transpire, so we dug in a little further.

After a long conversation, she finally admitted that her anger is likely produced by her fear of losing her husband and by her inability to deal with losing control of the situation.

Since her mind does not allow her – for reasons to her unknown – to face her fear of death, internal filters conveniently changed the reason of future loss to something more controllable – infidelity.

None of these defense mechanisms were obvious to her, and she truly believed what her mind led her to think, even if she could not pinpoint the origin of her devastating anger. A possibility was that if she could confirm to herself that her husband was not true to her, then she would not be as impacted by the loss of him. Anger was the fuel to stay strong and anchored, and a shield to prevent the crumbling of her inner world.

Anger is most often a symptom of something else at play. Maybe we are angry - or we are dealing with people who seem angry without a good reason – but we are unable to identify the cause. We assume that we are angry or distraught because of the reasons supplied by the conscious mind, but if one digs deeper, it is easy to find that fear is often the underlying, motivating factor.

Fear is the mother of anger. By intimidating others, and making them fearful, we feel as if we can stay in charge and control situations that are slipping through our fingers and threaten us with loss.

Facing our fears is the first step to understanding the anger that blinds our judgment and weighs down our soul.

Love Without Boundaries - A Tribute

“All that we are is a result of what we have thought: we are formed and molded by our thoughts. Those whose minds are shaped by selfless thoughts give joy whenever they speak or act. Joy follows them like a shadow that never leaves them.” ~ Buddha

As Robert Elias Najemi so eloquently states, love is very hard to define, and as with God, peace and other spiritual realities, it can be perceived more easily through the effects it creates. We cannot see the wind, but we can see its effects, such as the leaves moving, branches swaying, or the sound of air rushing. We know wind exists by its various side effects.

Love connects us to all there is, and creates a bond which allows us to wish for others as we wish for ourselves. One of the lessons love teaches us is to expand our connection to other forms of creation beyond ego limitations.

Love, need and control are often confused with one another; as Robert Najemi explains, “needy love” is not the highest form of love. It is love mixed with need, attachment and addiction. If it were pure love, and the other was happier by leaving us or even happier with someone else, we would be happy for him or her, not full of sadness for ourselves.

Loving others means wanting them to be happy, healthy and successful in the ways that they are guided to be.

Love does not create the pain we feel when someone leaves us or rejects us. That pain is generated by our dependency upon that person for our pleasure or affirmation. Needs and attachments create fear, pain and suffering. Love creates happiness, fulfillment and the experience of our True Selves.

Talking to Ode2joy, last night, really opened my eyes to the meaning of true love. As many know, Ode’s husband recently passed away after a long battle with illness, but Ode is not overcome with pain – she is filled with joy knowing that her beloved Henry is finally able to soar above the limitations of a body that wasn’t working well any more.

I had to fight back tears a few times while I listened to her – her deep, boundless love is so powerful and all-encompassing that I could feel its warmth reach all the way to my own heart. In all honesty, I don’t think I’ve ever been more touched and humbled by a phone conversation.

After terminating the call, I just sat back watching my children play, and felt so grateful that toward the end of a beautiful day I was blessed with such a powerful confirmation.

Thank you, Ode2joy – Henry is free and in company of angels right now, but after all, he was blessed with an angel by his side even during his time on earth.