All Hallow's Eve: Honoring the Dead

Although largely thought of as a candy and dress-up fest, Halloween coincides with other Holidays celebrated around the world.


In Italy, the Catholic Church celebrates the two days after Halloween, November first and second, respectively, as All Saints Day and All Souls Day. During this time, families visit the graves of loved one who have passed on; they bring flowers, candles, and ask Saints to protect them in the year ahead.


In Mexico, these two days are marked by a plethora of intriguing customs that vary widely according to the ethnic roots of each region. Common to all, however, are colorful adornments and lively reunions at family burial plots, the preparation of special foods, offerings laid out for the departed on commemorative altars and religious rites that are likely to include noisy fireworks. In some localities November 1 is set aside for remembrance of deceased infants and children, often referred to as angelitos (little angels). Those who have died as adults are honored November 2.


Many other spiritual traditions see Halloween – also known as All Hallows’ eve or Samhain – as a time when the veil between the living and the dead is thinned, allowing communications with ancestors and loved ones who have crossed over.


In some Celtic traditions, this date also marks the end of the spiritual year, and begins a new cycle of the wheel; it is common, during rituals, to hear practitioners wishing a happy new year to one another.


One of the common rituals on Halloween night is the “Silent Dinner”. A table is set up to include one or two places reserved for the souls of ancestors and loved ones who have passed on, and foods they have favored in life are often served. Name cards are placed in front of each place set, comprising the names of the living and the dead who will commune together. Once food is served, the living sit at the table - lights dimmed and sporting absolute reverence - and a small bell is rung three times to alert the dead that dinner is about to begin. Portions are served in every plate, including those reserved for the souls who are only present in spirit; the living begin to eat in silence, taking care of enjoying every bite of the food they are consuming, in honor of their ancestors. When dinner is over, the bell is rung again, to thank the ancestors and let them know they can leave. The food in the dead’s plate is usually taken outside to wild animals or carefully packed and delivered to the poor.


Although many attempt to attach an eerie image to the Silent Dinner, it is indeed a beautiful and peaceful occasion to connect to one’s roots, honor those who preceded us in this life, and come in touch with the souls who benevolently guide us in this life from the other side.

If We Finally Open Our Eyes

“It's odd that you can get so anesthetized by your own pain or your own problem that you don't quite fully share the hell of someone close to you.” ~ Lady Bird Johnson


According to “The Life of Buddha and His Greatness”, written by Narada Mahathera –

“One glorious day, as he went out of the palace to see the world outside, he came into direct contact with the stark realities of life. Within the narrow confines of the palaces, he saw only the rosy side of life; but the dark side, the common lot of mankind was veiled from him. His observant eyes met the strange sight of a decrepit old man, a diseased person, a corpse, and a dignified hermit. The first three sights convinced him of the inexorable nature of life and the universal sickness of humanity. The fourth signified the means to overcome the ills of life and attain calm and peace. Realizing the worthlessness of sensual pleasures highly prized by ordinary men, and the value of renunciation in which the wise seek delight, he decided to leave the world in search of Truth and Peace. With the march of time truth gradually dawned upon him. His contemplative nature and boundless compassion did not permit him to enjoy the fleeting pleasures of a royal household. He knew no woe, but he felt deep pity for sorrowing humanity. Amidst comfort and prosperity, he realized the universality of sorrow.”

Before venturing outside of his palace, Prince Siddhattha Gootama – later known as Buddha (the enlightened one) – lived a golden life, entirely unaware of the woes that affected humanity. In his world inside the palace walls, everything was perfect, and everything was done for him. Although I couldn’t find any literature indicating that he was ever dissatisfied with anything in particular, it is safe to assume that even the Buddha had his moments.

Something trivial might appear extremely important and devastating to us, until we are faced with greater challenges. Similarly, we become so absorbed into anything that happens within the confines of our own world, that we are often blind and deaf to the situations others are living. If everything is stable in our “bubble”, we find it hard to grasp that others on the outside may be living a much worse reality. We might be thinking that destiny is playing ugly tricks because our car broke down, or because we are experiencing minor health problems, or feel depressed because we can’t land the job of our dreams, but if we could truly see how many people lose more than a car or a job, or just how many live with chronic pain or a terminal illness, our problems would suddenly appear petty, even to us.

Sometimes stepping away from our personal dramas is key to “seeing” and learning how to be truly compassionate. And suddenly we will realize that our insurmountable blocks are nothing more than stepping stones on our path.


Information about the life of the Buddha can be found at: http://www.urbandharma.org/udharma2/budgreat.html

Shedding the Colors of Illusion

“Events tend to recur in cycles.” ~ W. Clement Stone



I sat on my deck, yesterday afternoon, and watched the pouring of leaves carried by a warm mid-afternoon wind. The colors were mesmerizing – bright gold, buttercup yellow, fiery red and rusty – and as the leaves continued to fall, the trees began to suddenly appear a little less full.

The steady stream of colors bunching up on the ground led me to think about the passage of seasons, and I soon got on a roll thinking how similar those seasonal changes are to the cycles we routinely go through.

Especially during this latest economic crash, it is even more evident how life works in cycles. As the leaves of materialism are steadily shedding, many find themselves vulnerable and at the mercy of unfriendly currents. Once the illusionary protection of the leaves is gone, the trees are left out in the cold and can only go dormant for the winter. During that time, they go through a process of regeneration which will gradually prepare them for renewal in the spring.

Similarly, as the blanket of security we have learned to associate with material possessions falls, we remain frightened and at the mercy of the elements even if the core of our being rests assured that the present cycle will draw to an end, and new beginnings will ensure survival. As we go within, we reconnect to our true selves, and are able to discover what our strengths and weaknesses are.

No low can last forever, just as any high would be robbed of its value if we were never reminded of it by occasional obstacles threatening to take it away.

Fact or Sensory Illusion? (Repost)

Have you ever wondered if others see and hear the same things you do? After all, images and sounds are picked up by our senses, and then transferred to our brain for processing.

What if our brain - conditioned by previous experiences and teachings - decodes information in a bias fashion? Could a person say one thing and we hear another?

That would certainly explain why people don't seem to find a common ground, at times, or why some find a particular person or thing beautiful while others consider the same thing unattractive or unpleasant. In my personal experience, I know there have been situations when I said one thing and others understood something completely different; it was like we were on entirely different agendas.

What about those cases when the same thing is observed or heard by multiple individuals? Could it be that the response we hear from others is also biased and "produced" by our brain? Is it possible that we "decide" what we are going to hear from others, and selectively choose who will agree with us and who won't?

The hidden triggers in our subconscious have the power to affect our actions and the way we personally approach things, so it would only make sense that they have an impact on the way we see or hear.

What's your opinion?

The Roles We Play (repost)

It’s funny how humans thrive on drama. No matter what issue arises, we look for things to argue about, which will cause a stir. We can observe this flaw in the political arena, in religion, in life itself.

Of course, when we stand by a certain point - and look for confirmation through facts - we are likely to seek those corroborating facts from sources that share our point of view and look at the issue from the same angle we are. Everyone is going to have different opinions, different facts to quote, and different outlooks directly related to personal experiences and taught values.

It is very amusing to watch talk shows. Producers make a living from human drama, and saturate our media with a circus of flaring emotions and half-baked truths. Soap operas last for decades and hook staggering numbers of people through glittering drama, often exposing human flaws that nobody wants to recognize in themselves, yet are present in most of us.

We thrive on the negative, and several studies have shown that negative messages are more easily implanted in the subconscious than positive ones. That’s what political campaigns and organized religions thrive on to get their point across.

So, why do we thrive on negativity and drama? No matter what our religious affiliation, anyone at all comfortable with spiritual truth halfway believes that we are here for a reason, and we came to earth to learn something.

Our soul is here to learn basic lessons of compassion, forgiveness, unity, and tolerance, and we are all actors on the great stage life. By acting out our roles we understand the nuances behind the human drama, and learn our lessons throughout. Sadly, most of us forget we are the actors and blindly become the part we came to play. We become so engrossed in our role that we blend our identity with the character we impersonate. We all forget who we truly are, until something devastating in our lives knocks down our ego and reminds us of what is truly important.

Regardless of the fact that some believe in reincarnation and some don’t, we all agree that we only have one life at a time to be in, and we need to make the most of our time while we are here.

Focusing on the present, and choosing to overcome the drama we so easily become attached to, can free us from the chains of erroneous earthly perception and give us an edge in understanding who we truly are.

The Power of Taking the First Step

“Take the first step, and your mind will mobilize all its forces to your aid. But the first essential is that you begin. Once the battle is started, all that is within and without you will come to your assistance.” ~ Robert Collier



Whenever it is time to face laundry in my house I understand how Ulysses felt when he found himself in front of the Cyclops - with three children, two of which are teenagers, laundry at my house easily falls into the categories of scary and overwhelming.

Yesterday was laundry day. With five baskets sitting in the way, and coats the kids had shed after school piled up on top of the washing machine, the laundry room was filled to capacity; just looking at all the work ahead was enough to make me want to grab my car keys and run.

I began by separating the colors from the whites and organizing them in separate baskets. Once that was done, and the first load was started, things immediately looked less daunting. By the time the first load ended up in the dryer, and the second one was on its way to being washed, I was ready to take a breath of relief.

It is quite normal to feel helpless when facing an overwhelming task; whatever is in front of us feels so big that we feel powerless in its presence, and it is natural to become frozen on the spot, scared to do anything that will cause the dominoes to fall. Taking the first step appears as a Herculean task, and we come up with countless excuses to delay the inevitable. Taking the first step is all we need to do. Once we get started, a second step quickly follows the first, and then a third lines up before a fourth; before we know it, everything is done and we are back in control.

This concept applies to many things we face on a daily basis, but it particularly applies to change. We are afraid of the unknown, and worry that the approaching wave will pick us up and thrust us toward unfamiliar waters; and, while we are so absorbed by our fears, we forget that we do know how to swim.

So, no matter what awaits out there, know that you can do it. You might feel that you are in front of something huge and overwhelming, but quite often the fear of the monster is much bigger than the monster itself. Once the light of reason shines on its shadow, we gladly see that the monster can be easily slain. It all starts with the first step of choosing to win.

Do I Truly Not Want This?

In the many years we have known each other, I‘ve always heard my friend Caroline complain of the fact that she lives alone and has no children. Yet, every time she comes to my house for the day – and is exposed to the zoo of family life for more than an hour – she is ready to bolt out the door and find the peace and solitude she habitually claims to hate.

I often hear people complain about everything; their spouses, their homes, their jobs, their children, the time they spend alone. As humans, we spend a great deal of our time focusing on, and complaining about, what we don’t have, never really ready to acknowledge the fact that what we do have is truly what’s right for us.

We behave similarly in relation to weather conditions. In the winter we dream of being somewhere warm; we complain of the cold and rain, and can hardly wait for the dog days of summer, when, once again, we’ll be able to shed the heavy clothes and feel the hot kiss of sunshine on our skin. Yet, as soon as summer comes - after just a few weeks - we complain of the heat, and talk dreamily of the cool weather we will experience in the fall and winter. Opposite conditions allow us to appreciate what we normally take for granted.

Many can relate to the excitement felt when company is ready to come visit; we plan wonderful moments and are eager to catch up on conversations; yet, after a few days, we are ready to claim back the life we had, our routines, our moments alone. It’s not that we don’t love the company, but we are ready to be back in our own space.

Ultimately, if we never lost our jobs, we’d never appreciate the sense of security which derives from being employed; if we never had a day of rain, we’d never appreciate a day of sunshine; if we never had anyone treating us wrong, we’d never recognize, or appreciate, a true friend when he or she comes along.

We can choose to look at our seemingly unfulfilled lives and experiences as a sentence we are forced to serve, but by doing so we only rob ourselves from the opportunity of being happy.

At times, changes are in order and can improve our lives, but often we simply need to make an honest assessment of how much we truly wish for things to be altered. We can begin by asking ourselves if our lives would be better or worse if we take a different turn. When we look at the neighbor’s grass, and wish it was our own, we should also ask ourselves if we’d be happy and ready to commit to the daily amount of work required to keep it so green.

Unexpected Rewards

“Be ready to be surprised.” ~ Loesje

A long time ago, I read somewhere that one should start the day by asking to witness a small miracle unfold when they go out into the world. Being the eternal optimist, I approach each day with the same expectations of a child on Christmas Eve - good things will come as long as I believe they will.

Yesterday began like an ordinary day; after I dropped my daughter off, I headed to my son’s high-school, where every Thursday I volunteer at the library. As I drove, I noticed a trash bag on the road in the lane beside mine, and as I passed it, I thought I saw the bag move.

I passed it and got to the light, but all of a sudden I wondered if anything alive was inside of it and I decided to turn around. I parked my car on a side street and walked back on the main road toward the bag, a bit apprehensive at the thought of what I would find in it. I picked it up from the road and took it to the sidewalk – by then I was pretty sure it was just trash, but I moved it nonetheless so that a car wouldn’t hit it.

I left the bag on the sidewalk and went back to my car. As soon as I turned into the side street, I saw a large black bird – a crow, I believe – flying low and holding something in its beak. When it saw me approaching, it flew on a nearby branch, still holding tight to the loot. I didn’t think much of it and got inside the car. While I was ready to start the engine, I saw the black bird land in a yard, still holding the food in its beak, and slowly hop toward a bush. Another bird – visibly injured - came out from under the bush and hopped painfully until the other bird dropped the food it had been holding in front of it and flew away; the injured bird picked up the morsel and hopped back under the protective cover of the bush.

I sat in my car and watched in awe. If I hadn’t stopped to move the trash bag, and parked my car right there, I would have missed out on the chance to see this act of random kindness. What appeared as a nuisance, especially since I was already late, turned out to be an unforeseen moment of sheer inspiration.

I drove away and went to the library, and the rest of the day I felt blessed by that one small occurrence. I’m certainly not implying that every single bothersome event hides a joyful moment, but sometimes good things just happen, and unless we are open to embrace the unexpected, we might miss them altogether.

I got to the library ten minutes later than I had planned, but I was in such a cheerful mood that I got a lot of work accomplished anyway. I don’t know what was wrong with the bird on the ground, and I’m not sure of what type of connection it had with the bird that came to feed it, but I do know one thing for certain – small miracles do manifest if one is willing to see them.

A Prison of Our Own

“We are imprisoned in the realm of life, like a sailor on his tiny boat, on an infinite ocean.” ~ Anna Freud



The other day I joined a friend for lunch and we discussed a ministry she is involved with at the prison. When we spoke of some of the women there, and agreed that we all share a collective soul beneath the upper crust of different life circumstances, my friend simply said: “After all, aren’t we all imprisoned to some extent?”

Her words gave me food for thought. Although many of us will thankfully never know the hardship of being physically confined, being imprisoned within the invisible walls of our own weaknesses can be just as daunting.

None of us are ever completely free. We are limited by societal rules, by financial constraints, by faulty perceptions, and by the fears and doubts that often impact our lives. One of our downfalls is that we think too much – although rational thinking is appropriate for some situations, too much of a good thing is not always beneficial.

We tend to second-guess ourselves even when we have taken good decisions, and rarely realize that in some instances “being” is better than thinking. We function through the perceptions of others, and unless we can adhere to an “acceptable” standard of living, we fail in our own minds. It is so easy to get wrapped up into the illusion of right and wrong that we often forget to check with our inner guide to decide if we are on the right path or if we need to change our course of action.

Some are even imprisoned by the image they have forged for themselves, and truly struggle to detach from it, in fear of losing their whole identity. I could be listing a whole lot of things – some organized religions, appearances, lifestyles, poverty, health issues, past pain and political affiliations can also pose limits to the expression of our inner selves, but we are scared let them go in fear of losing control over their circumstances.

It makes little difference if the bars are made of sturdy metal or limiting thoughts – until we realize we hold the key, our lives will never experience the warm sunshine filtering through the windows of our soul.

When All Seems Lost

“Anyone can give up; it’s the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that’s true strength.” ~ Author unknown


Yesterday I ran into a friend who went through a very rough time this past year – he lost his job, his mother passed away, he went through a hard battle with his ex-wife over custody of his children, and he struggled with depression. Every time he raised his head after one blow, something else hit him from a different direction, often with not enough time in between life storms to recharge his batteries.

When I asked him how he was doing, I expected a sad answer. To my surprise, he replied that he was doing great. I am not sure if I was more relieved or surprised, and he must have seen it on my face, because he felt compelled to explain.

“When everything started going south,” he said, “I got very depressed. I even thought that life wasn’t worth living any more, and I escaped the pain by fantasizing about dying. The more I thought of it, the sweeter death appeared – a moment of pain in exchange for an eternal sleep I didn’t have to wake up from. Then, one afternoon, I went to the grocery store, and I ran into a neighbor who told me of her thirty-five-year-old daughter who was dying of cancer. Tears welled in her eyes when she told me of her little grandson who was going to grow up without a mother. Suddenly, my depression evaporated like fog in the morning sun. Here I was, mostly upset over minor affairs and wishing for death, and out there was a young mother fighting to live just another day. I was overcome with shame and guilt, and I almost fell into a deeper state of self-pity, but I quickly shook myself out of it; life IS beautiful, no matter how maddening it can be at times. I guess I was like the man who complained he had no shoes until he ran into another man who had no feet.”

Glad that my friend had been able to accept those hard moments as a natural low of life, I said good-bye and thought about the things he said.

It’s extremely easy to become overwhelmed when things start happening, especially if they are unexpected, and it is just as easy to be willing to give up. Once the first set of emotions begin to flow, they rush through every cell of our being and cloud our perception. If we lose a job we feel as if we’ve lost ourselves and our identity; if we lose our house we immediately entertain thoughts of being rejected by society; if we lose a loved one, we feel guilty for being alive while they are gone. In reality, a job and a house do not define our worth, and each of us is here as long as we need to complete whatever we came to do and learn; if we are still here, there is a reason why we are.

The trick is to focus on what we have left, rather than obsessing on what we have lost.

The Value of personal Boundaries

After so many years of being married to me, my husband takes some of my eccentricities with a grain of salt. One of the things he has come to accept is that I won’t kill anything – if I find an insect in my house, I carefully scoop it up with cup and paper and I take it outside. My take is that if it’s alive it has a purpose to exist, and I have no right to terminate whatever it is here to accomplish. Life is life regardless of its form.

This past summer, I spent a couple of weeks discouraging ants from coming into the house. After a little frustration and a few good old-timer tips, I finally succeeded. I even went as far as trying to save as many ants as I could and put them back outside, which my husband could only chuckle at. “You must be the only woman alive who worries about saving ants,” he told me one night after I spent several minutes trying to scoop up as many as I could from the dishwasher before running it. Too bad if some ended up drowning, but I couldn’t stand the thought of leaving them in there if I could do something about it.

To cut a long story short, the past week we’ve had new visitors. Although we spend $40 each month on flea-preventive medicine for our cats, something didn’t work, and a couple of determined fleas made it inside. Rabbits? I think people should use fleas as the totem animal for Easter – nothing reproduces any faster.

Unable to lure them outside in any other way, I finally gave in and fogged my house, killing all the fleas that had survived everything else. While I cleaned the house after the fogging, I thought about the extermination, and wonder how many tiny lives had succumbed to the killer fog. Craziest thing was that I was the one who had “pulled the tab” on the cans.

That led me to think about the importance of preserving personal space and setting boundaries. By setting personal boundaries, we create limits for how others act and speak in our presence. They are not designed to isolate us, but rather to keep out behavior we can’t accept in our personal space.

After we identify what our personal boundaries are, we need to make sure we express them clearly and consistently, without worrying too much about others being upset by the scale of their rigidity. People get most upset when they DON’T know what their friends’ boundaries are, rather than when they know. Once they are aware of their limits, they can relax and not worry that their words or actions might offend anyone. A lack of personal boundaries - or communication of them to the other party - can only lead to strained relationships.

Of course, it would have been impossible to explain my boundaries to the fleas, so I had to resort to more drastic measures, but as long as two individuals speak the same language, there is no reason why anyone would need to silently endure.

Embracing Change (R)

We are afraid of change. It's human nature. The fear of change—the fear of the unknown—is so great that we continue to live within the constraints of our own invisible walls.

Force of habit is a considerable influence in our culture; habit is synonymous with stability while change is disconcerting. It stirs unrest, like a storm stirs the sediment in the sea; until the waters calm down and the sediment settles back to the bottom, the water appears cloudy. We are very much creatures of habit.

We eat, work and sleep at specific times, and have squeezed in multiple other activities, with little to no room for change. In the midst of this structured life, most of us inevitably arrive at a point where change is necessary for survival. Because we never learned to easily accept change, we panic when we feel forced to make important decisions. Instead of embracing change as a new opportunity filled with adventure, we become almost paralyzed with fear.

Controlled by fear, we dig in and stay put, even if the walls are closing in. We stay in miserable life situations, feeling we don't have the strength to change anything, until something pushes us to our limit and we must make a choice.

Many times our fears aren't readily apparent. Sometimes we know what we want and pursue it with confidence, with no doubts. Or so we think. No matter how sure we are in our minds about a goal or desire, fears often lurk beneath the surface. As scary as change can be, it doesn't have to be undertaken all at once. Sometimes small steps in the right direction are more beneficial than an explosive life-altering effort. Taking small steps, one day at a time, is less traumatic than rebuilding our entire world from scratch. If we can learn to tap into our innate wisdom and intuition, we will gradually become able to discern the difference between our fears based on insecurities versus our soul trying to steer us into the flow of least resistance.

Change, and the strength to surrender to it, are an important part of our lives and should be viewed as an opportunity to experience wonderful things yet unseen.

Can One Wrong Make Two Rights?

“When a door closes, two windows open.” ~ Author unknown


Yesterday morning I received a phone call from the owner of the cat that was repossessed by the shelter. After finding out that the agency reserves ownership of the animal, and that the adopting families are merely “foster parents”, they are afraid to run into the same type of heartbreak again at a later time, so they prefer to give up and go elsewhere to adopt.


When I first hung up the phone I was quite irritated. What incentive do people have to adopt animals from rescues if they have to live in fear of seeing their beloved pet being taken away after years of lovingly taking care of it, especially when one can just adopt a pet for free from the newspaper with no strings attached? Who would be willing to pay an adoption fee, be solely responsible for the cost of food and medical care, and at the same time have no rights regarding ownership of the animal? Homes taking in foster children receive financial assistance for providing a safe environment; once they adopt the child the financial incentives stop, but the child is legally theirs.


After the initial irritation, however, I saw the silver lining. The family is now going to adopt two animals from a kill shelter, and thus save two lives. As sad as this episode was for the little girl and her cat, it will have a happy ending for two other cats who might, otherwise, not find another home.


I guess we all could focus on the injustice that took place, but it is certainly more constructive to direct our energy toward the good that will come out of it. It is all too common to notice the darkness of the cloud and ignore its silver lining.


Anything that happens is set in motion by opposing forces, and if we can look at the situation objectively, we can’t find a dynamic negative without its positive twin trailing behind. Painful events often lead to something good and promote a greater awareness.


My heart still breaks for the cat whose world was suddenly turned upside down and felt abandoned by the family he had come to love, all because of a contractual travesty, but deep down I rejoice for the two cats who are now living on borrowed time and will soon discover the joys of snuggling beside a warm fire on a cold winter night.

United Beyond the Divide

“Synchronicity hints at the unified world behind the illusory veil of the material Universe.” ~ Roger S. Jones


As I was driving home, on Sunday evening, I suddenly thought of an old friend my husband met when both were in the army in Italy. We normally heard from him every year or so, but we had somehow lost touch for some time and could not find a phone listing for him.

Nothing that happened that day led me to think of this guy, yet his face just popped into my mind, seemingly out of nowhere. I told my husband as soon as I got home, and we looked up his name again to no avail.

Two days went by. On Tuesday evening, my husband came home from work and said that he was very surprised when his brother told him that someone had called for him at his house two nights before. The friend, my brother-in-law said, had explained that his was the only listing he could find under the last name, so he called even if the first name was different, hoping to locate my husband. The friend who called was Jason, the man whose face had popped into my mind on Sunday, at the exact time that he was placing the call.

My husband was more surprised than I was. “How odd,” he said, “we were just discussing the fact that we hadn’t heard from him in years and he called the same night.”

I didn’t think it was odd at all. Although each of us is equipped with a unique conscious mind which sets us apart from the next person, the collective mind of our subconscious – the one connected to Universal energy - connects us all.

In the first insight of his amazing book, “The Celestine Prophecy”, James Redfield explains that mysterious coincidences cause the reconsideration of the inherent mystery that surrounds our individual lives on this planet.

What we do to and for others, we unknowingly do to and for ourselves. This simple knowledge allows us to understand a bit of the laws of karma. As we send positive or negative energy to others, part of it is absorbed by the conscious, individual mind of the person we are sending it to, and part of it is absorbed by the collective mind, the one shared by all including ourselves.

Subconsciously, we are all aware of the common denominator we all share, and that knowledge is part of what stops us, when we don’t feel good about ourselves, from being kind to others. We know that if we smile at a stranger we are partially smiling at ourselves, and we might not be ready to accept that kind of reward.

All are one and one is all – no matter how hard we try to set one another apart by listening to the voice of fear, our collective link runs beneath the illusion of the human divide.

Boundaries of Our Freedom (repost)

“Your freedom stops where other people’s freedom starts”. ~Don D. Battaglini


This simple sentence stuck with me like glue since the first time I heard it, back when I was seven years old, during Bible study. I don’t think Don Battaglini ever realized the impact his words had on his young pupils, but I can still remember that moment as if it took place yesterday.

Don Battaglini was one of those priests who don’t come by very often. I remember him as always being old; hair as white as snow, deep-set, soft brown eyes, and the strong voice of a tenor. He never indulged nonsense, but he was ALWAYS available for important issues. The day he uttered those words was one of those winter days that never seem to draw to an end. It was raining out, and I can still recall the sound of the rain drops rhythmically hitting the window pane. It was one of those days that truly deserve the label of “boring”.

Then, I heard those words and they changed my young life. From that moment on, every time I thought about doing anything, I always wondered if I was intruding in someone else’s freedom, and more times than one those very same words saved me from overstepping my boundaries.

We are free to make choices, but so are other people. We have the right to voice our opinion, but we must acknowledge that other people have opinions, too. We may choose a certain type of lifestyle, but we must mind the fact that, although we are free to decide how we live, we must allow others the space they need to live out their own choices.

So, where is the fine line between our freedom and that of others?

Ultimately, the best rule to follow is the old golden one: “Don’t do unto others as you wouldn’t want done unto you”. And again, it is about walking a mile into someone else’s shoes.

We have the right to have a party with our friends, but we would not like for someone else to wake us up from a sound sleep; maybe, we can try to keep things down a bit, or at least let our neighbors know of our plans. Most people, if warned ahead, will be amenable to accommodating different things. If we love to drink, then we shouldn’t drive or be obnoxious. Although we have the right to enjoy a drink, people have the freedom to live out their life. If we are fervidly religious, we should be thankful that God is so prominent in our lives, yet we should not push our beliefs unto others who have the freedom to not believe, or believe something else.

We are here all together, all participants in the great field trip on earth that life is. We can make our journey a little more pleasant by just showing a little respect; both toward ourselves and others. Maybe then, we will learn to fight a little less, love a little more, and really be free.

Never Give Up

“Whoever said anybody has a right to give up?” - Marian Wright Edelman

Some may remember that several weeks ago I tried to save a nest of wasps – the nest was accidentally knocked down by a friend of my son’s; when I found it, I tried propping it up in a corner of the porch to save the babies growing in the chambers, but since I had no way of securing it to the railing, it was blown away by the wind soon after that. I found the nest again, saw that the babies were still moving and put it in a different place in the same area. Each time, the workers went back to tend to it. A few days later, it disappeared.

The workers looked for the nest for a few days, and continued to stay on the ceiling of the porch in the same corner where they had originally built. A week later, I noticed they were working on new cells, and soon a new, smaller nest was built. After their labor of a whole summer was destroyed, they set out to do what they could to keep the colony going. The nest was built and more babies were laid in its chambers.

This time around they were racing against time. With colder weather at the door, their goal was not of creating a big, impressive nest, but of laying enough babies as quickly as possible to ensure that at least one new queen and some workers could make it through the winter and keep the colony going.

When I peeked into the nest yesterday morning, I knew they had achieved their goal. The babies are now big enough to live on their own, and they will likely survive unless they get hit by a premature cold snap. When the workers will lay their tired bodies to sleep, a few weeks from now, they will do so knowing that their purpose was fully met.

Even after the fruit of their hard labor was knocked down three times by unfriendly circumstances, the wasps quickly counted their losses and moved on to plan B. They could have given up but they never did, and when disaster struck, they accepted it for what it was and went eagerly to work to salvage what they could. Their focus was set and they were either going to succeed or die trying. As it turned out, their acceptance and effort were rewarded in the end.

As someone once said, “Failure is only the opportunity to begin again, this time more wisely.”
Perseverance is a key to the door of the future.

The Tree That Was Upside Down

“Flowers always sprout from seeds protected by the darkness of the earth.” ~ Author Unknown


Yesterday, a friend sent me a beautiful picture via e-mail. It depicted a person standing by a very large tree, under the moonlight; the tree was mirrored on a body of water in front of it. Although I was instantly stunned by the breathtaking beauty of the photo, something about it caught my eye in particular – the top of the tree was the lowest point of the mirrored image.

For decades now, it has been speculated that our outside world is but a mirrored reflection of our inner world, and that the real self lives beyond our consciousness and observes our daily experiences to learn from them. If that’s indeed how things work, and we compare the picture of the two trees to our dual selves – inner and outer – then the tree and the body of water would be equal to our inner reality, and the mirrored reflection would represent what we see and manifest in the outside world. In this case, what we consider the “lowest” part of the reflected image is in fact the highest part of the real tree.

When we apply the same analogy to life occurrences, it is easy to see how the lowest and darkest moments in our lives can often be the highest points our spirit can reach. Our soul is not affected by greed, fear, pride or doubt, and it evolves whenever we learn a lesson in humility, compassion, forgiveness, or unconditional love even if we struggle through the process of learning.

When life doesn’t indulge our illusion of control, we can choose to take one of two possible paths – we either understand the meaning of what’s truly important, or we bury ourselves even deeper into a self-dug, ego-induced grave. Either way - and whether we realize the value of our experience or not - our soul learns from the choices we make. Thus, the lowest point in our lives IS the highest point our spirit can achieve, and our darkest moments are often a shortcut to see the light.

Just as flowers couldn’t sprout if left on the surface of the earth to dry in the sun, our spiritual awareness would not prosper if we were never left in the dark.

Are You a Fire Starter or a Fire Keeper?

If someone could peer at the traffic in my mind when I first awaken, they would be amazed there aren’t any accidents. It’s like ideas start getting in queue when I first fall asleep and patiently wait in line until the door of my consciousness opens again. The moment my eyes open, the torrential rush of thoughts begins, and if it was up to me, I’d move cities and mountains just in that first hour. Thankfully for me, one of the most important people I work with – Dena, my soul sister, consulting editor and PR person - is driven by a symbiotic type of energy and never sleeps.

My husband is quite the opposite. Although he rises early because of work related reasons, he would happily sleep in if he could, and it takes him a little while to really warm up to the day ahead. Once he is completely awake, he gets into an even and methodical set of routines which allow him to keep everything in balance. He gladly takes the ball and guards it until he can get it safely to the other side of the field; if anyone gets in his way before he has completed his task they do so at their own risk.

We have always agreed that I am a fire starter, and he’s a fire keeper – entirely different types of fuel propel us forward, but both are equally important in the final equation. I come up with a lot of the initial ideas, and he provides the means to manifest them into reality and keep them going. I have always been quite lucky to be surrounded by very capable fire keepers, who are able to take the flame and tend to its growth and existence, especially when my focus has already sped toward the next goal.

Most of us fall into one of the two categories, and struggle to keep up with the other side of things. In my case, for example, I love to write, but I’d rather shoot my own feet than edit my own writing. I see the story in my head like a film playing on a screen, and I transfer the images on paper in a very short time, but I couldn’t achieve the same results without Dena’s irreplaceable skills of dissecting my first draft and turning it into a story other people can also watch in their minds. Fact is that it is not important to fit both shoes, as long as we can let go of control and allow others to step in and pick up where we left off.

Feeling guilty for not being able to do both hinders our creativity in both directions. Once we understand what our strength is, there is no need to waste time or energy on our weaknesses. If we focus our attention on what we do best, and allow others to shine through the light of their own abilities, the fusion of skills can only lead to mutual success.

What about you? Are you a fire starter or a fire keeper?

From my son Michael's pen..."An Ocean Fantasy"

“An Ocean Fantasy” – by Michael Carrington-Smith


My son wrote this piece yesterday and it was so cute I just had to share...:-)


It was a perfect day to take a walk. The orange of the sky was only interrupted by fluffy puffs of clouds which made me think of cotton candy. The sun was very warm, and its heat defied the cool breeze blowing in from the ocean, even if it was only six o’clock in the morning. I stepped on the sand from the wooden boardwalk, and loved the feeling of the sand under my feet. I looked over and saw waves erupting on the shore, white foam building on their crests as they approached the shallow side.

I was absorbed in my thoughts as I walked, and didn’t see a stick on my path. My foot tripped on the stick and I fell over, suddenly finding myself face to face with a beautiful blue rock which reminded me of an aquamarine my grandfather once showed me. I picked it up and placed it in my shirt pocket, happy to have found something I could claim as a small treasure from my outing. While I fantasized about giving the rock to my friend Paul and thought of a rich story to go with its finding, I didn’t see a bigger wave coming in and splashing on shore. The undercurrent made me lose my balance and I fell into the surf. Suddenly, I couldn’t feel sand under my feet any more, and I was quickly whisked away into deeper water.

All I could see around me was water, and my fear grew with each long second that went by. The sound of the waves was louder than I heard while walking on the shore, and the strong smell of salt assaulted my nose and throat. I was trapped! My mind started going in a million directions and suddenly I started thinking of sharks. What if one was nearby, looking for an easy meal? I felt something tugging at my foot and my heart almost stopped. My whole body was paralyzed from fear, and I had no strength to fight back. The further down I went, the darker the water became, and suddenly I felt light-headed. Everything around me was blurred and I couldn’t think straight any more. I knew I was getting ready to pass out.

When I woke up, I was still in the middle of the ocean, and I was surprised that I could breathe under water. I hung on to a fishing net caught on an old wooden sign. The only word written on the sign was “Atlantis”. I couldn’t believe it! The mythical Atlantis? How had I gotten there? I looked around and saw something amazing…Ferris Wheels glittered in the distance and candy of all kinds was laid out on marine plants. I stumbled on something and saw it was a treasure chest. I jumped up with excitement and started thinking of a way to take it back to shore. On my right, I noticed an old piece of wood, about six feet by four, and I used it to lift the chest and carry it to shore. When we finally got closer and I felt sand under my feet, I stood up quickly, and dragged the heavy chest on land.

I kicked the chest repeatedly to open it, but it wasn’t until I pried the lock open with a crow bar I found in a boat nearby that it finally gave in. My heart was beating a million beats a minute, and curiosity was making me almost light-headed. As the mysterious content came to light, the sun reflected on a display of gold coins and jewels that almost took my breath away. While I dug my hands in the treasure, I felt something moving underneath, and suddenly a marine elf popped its green-blue head out and looked at me angrily. I asked him who he was and what I could do to make him happy, and he replied that his mission was to keep the treasure of Atlantis safe. Now, everyone would know Atlantis was real. I promised I would hide the treasure and helped the elf jump back into the surf. I dug a very deep hole and hid the coins in it. I smiled while I filled the hole with sand and shells. Nobody would ever again lay eyes on it.

Something touched my face and made me jolt. A seagull’s feather was tickling my nose and woke me up. I looked around confused and saw the blue rock in front of my nose. I guess that I had passed out when I fell after tripping on the stick. I relaxed there, looking at the stone, while waves splashed on the shore a few feet away.

Back soon...

Good morning everybody!

I will be taking a short break from blogging to work on an important project. I will be back to my daily posts on Monday, October 12.

Many thanks for the wonderful support each and everyone of you offers every day by reading my thoughts.

Have a blessed week and I will "talk" to you again very soon. :-)

Turning a Negative into a Positive

“Become a possibilitarian. No matter how dark things seem to be or actually are, raise your sights and see the possibilities — always see them, for they're always there.” ~ Norman Vincent Peele


When I went to bed last night I lay there and tried to recap my day. I spent hours arguing a point I felt passionate about, and wondered if all the arguing had indeed made any difference. As we delved deeper and deeper into discussions about pet care, about the fairness of contracts and their effectiveness when applied to specific situations, and about who was right and wrong, one of the comments caught my eye. The essence of this comment was that a wrong thing could be turned into something good if we just turned the energy around.

I’m sure it was obvious even to the people who didn’t agree with the posts that all the fuss was originated by a common ground we all shared – our love for animals. Looking back at the situation itself, who was wrong? Was it the shelter for adhering to their policies? Was it the family for admitting to a mistake yet loving the pet as a part of the family? In reality no one was truly wrong and everyone was to some extent - we all chose to look at things from our point of perspective and defended our views on the subject.

I agree with the poster who talked about turning a negative into a positive. In the heat of the discussion, we all forgot about the wonderful service rescue centers like Cat Angels provide for our animal friends. I, for one, am very grateful centers like that exist. That said, I think shelters have set rules that are too strict for people to comply with, and I am hoping that if we raise awareness to this fact, more animals will indeed be adopted and will enjoy happy lives in their new homes. As I had stated to someone on the board, why would anyone go through all the screenings, pay a fee and live under the threat of having their pet removed over a technicality, when they can just as easily adopt an animal they find advertised on Craigslist or on the newspaper, for free and with no strings attached? Unfortunately, this kind of sentiment leads to animal not finding homes, and from what I heard yesterday, it is quite widespread.

What if we can use the power of the internet to promote adoption, rather than discourage it? This wonderful virtual world is at our fingertips to help us promote awareness and educate people on the benefits of adopting animals, rather than buying one from a breeder. I apologize if I allowed my personal emotions to get in the way of my rational thinking, and I would like for everyone to see that if we invest the same passion into reaching a common goal, everyone is better off because of it.

I would like to ask Cat Angels to be willing to revisit their decision in the case of this particular cat, and to see that each case should be assessed individually. This family never meant the cat any harm, and they love him dearly. Please give them a chance. As for myself, I can pledge that if this situation is turned around, I will gladly use the power of words to help with future adoption efforts. We might not be able to change the whole world, but we can certainly try to improve it the best way we can by focusing on our common goals.