The Shoes on the Road

I have always liked to observe everything, but while observing can be a fun and even informative practice when one is just walking around, it is not always a top choice when one is driving.

Yesterday afternoon I ran into – or should I say escape? – an interesting situation, compliments of my tendency to observe everything on my path. I was driving home from the grocery store, and stopped at a red light before turning left into my subdivision. While I waited, something on the road caught my eye – three shoes, all different, were piled up beside the median: a man’s shoe, a woman’s, and one that looked as if it could belong to a little girl. I thought the combination was quite strange…why only one of each? As I pondered the unusual assortment of shoes, I didn’t notice the light had turned green.

The driver in the car behind me blew the horn and I jumped back into real time, but before the signal traveled from my ears to my brain and from my brain to my foot, a few seconds went by….and those few seconds very likely saved my life; in the least, they insured I didn’t get hurt. A car, traveling in the opposite direction, drove straight through the red light, and had I not been mesmerized by the three odd shoes on the side of the road, I would have been directly on its path at the very same time it went through.

I turned into my subdivision, my mind still trying to absorb the intensity of what had just happened. This is not the first time I’ve been spared a close call, and sometimes I have to wonder if distractions are not put on our path to slow us down and avoid the unthinkable. The driver who honked his horn must have been a bit shocked as well, because I noticed he slowed down considerably. Could it be that whenever we misplace our keys or something completely random occurs, it is only the hand of fate pulling us back from rushing into a situation that might not be good for us?

Surely, it could also be a coincidence, but at least in my own perception, I have come to accept coincidences don’t really exist. In fact, whenever I have paid enough mind to so-called ‘coincidences’, a pattern has begun to form, directing my attention to something I needed to become aware of at the time.

I don’t think the three different shoes had any particular significance, other than serving the purpose they were placed there for. Yet, I was happy they were in that specific spot on my path, and became visible to me at exactly the time they did. If they hadn’t been there, or if I had remained unaware, I might not be writing this post.

I got home, unloaded the groceries and went inside; my little daughter, who had stayed home with her big brother, came running into the kitchen and gave me a huge bear hug. When I brought the groceries in, I almost tripped into my son’s shoes, as always left in the doorway – will that boy ever learn to put his shoes away? – but this time I didn’t get angry…for once, shoes in my way had been my ticket to get back home to my children.

A Tap on the Shoulder

“The bad things in life open your eyes to the good things you weren’t paying attention to before” ~ Author unknown

Yesterday was an average day – or at least that’s how it appeared at first. Nothing incredibly important or transcendental happened, one way or the other; no tragedies nor mind-blowing fortunes knocked on my door.

However, on second thought, yesterday was a wonderful day, although I wasn’t aware of just how blessed until about six in the evening, when I sat on my porch sipping a glass of iced tea and watched my daughter play in the yard.

Out in the distance I heard a siren; then two; finally one more – something serious had happened not too far from my house. I immediately said a small prayer for whoever was involved in the accident, and felt profoundly grateful that my whole family was home and I didn’t have to wonder about their safety.

Right then I realized that many unpleasant things happening around us are an opportunity to stop the madness and focus a moment of our day on gratitude and compassion. We are fast in prayer if something goes wrong in our lives - or if we are in need - but how often do we take a moment to just acknowledge what we have, and be grateful for the things and people we take for granted?

Gratitude and compassion walk hand in hand, and both are great reminders that we should appreciate our lives for what they are, and enjoy what we have.

Divine reminders come in different packages – the sound of distant emergency vehicles, a homeless person seeking a little change and a ray of hope, a lonely person craving a smile or a kind word – through each of them, God taps on our shoulder. We are always in such a rush that we easily overlook the incredible fortunes pouring down on us throughout each day; once we slow down and take notice, we realize the staggering amount of reasons we have to be grateful.

We spend countless hours of our lives telling others they should pay attention -- sometimes it would be good to talk in front of a mirror.

Wake-Up List

“Some people are always grumbling because roses have thorns; I am thankful that thorns have roses.” ~ Alphonse Karr

Many of us begin the New Year by making resolutions. By February, the majorities of those goals – even the modest ones we thought we could keep up with – slip slowly away, and the patterns of old habits sneak back into their familiar place in our lives. Very often the problem lies in the fact that we set goals for ourselves that are too hard to maintain. With little concrete support and a myriad of daily demands, the lure of a fresh new starts wears quickly out.

True life makeovers are not impossible, but a few steps need to be respected. Victoria Moran, author of “Living a Charmed Life: Your Guide to Finding Magic in Every Moment and Meaning in Every Day” suggests that we should list ten things for which we are grateful before we get out of bed each morning. The items on the list don’t have to be big things – I’m grateful for my cat sleeping on my chest; I’m grateful for having dinner left over so I won’t have to cook again tonight; I’m grateful that my coffee is brewing downstairs. The list can indeed be endless and as creative as one wants to make it.

Very often, in fact, we demand a radical change when many things in our lives work well as they are. Acknowledging, and being thankful for, what already is good in our lives allows us to start our day with a feeling that there are positive things in our world we can build from.

It is also important to take quiet time in the mornings to devote a few minutes to meditation and prayer. One doesn’t have to be religious to meditate and enjoy a few minutes of silence. By doing so, the mind will have the opportunity to ease into the new day rather than being tossed mercilessly into instant chaos. I personally discovered, several years ago, that if I had any intention of beginning my day on a positive note, I had to make time to honor myself and my thoughts. That said, some mornings I could dedicate a few extra moments to it than other days, but ultimately, I could always find five minutes. We often look for excuses that will allow us to slack off, but if we truly are determined to make changes in our lives, we will find the extra time.

These are small steps, but are indeed important ones to take if we ever hope to improve our realities and create a healthier living approach. Even the fastest runners had to learn in the beginning how to place one foot in front of the other.

Behind the Scenes of Karma and Acceptance

Among the things that are hardest for some people to do, accepting help or blessings probably ranks toward the top of the list.

In many cases, the awkward feeling we experience when presented with a gift goes back to how we feel about ourselves. We are conditioned, since early childhood, to associate rewards with “good behavior”. In our minds, in order to reap fruits, we must know we deserve them, and many times we fall short of our own expectations.

We’ve all seen people who seem to have all the luck, while some others appear to walk from one disaster to the next. Many describe this as Karma. We experience good Karma when we feel in our hearts that we have done the right thing and have lived according to our system of beliefs. When we feel we are “good”, good things come to us. We project good thoughts out because we feel at peace and happy, and those feelings allow us to accept whatever blessings are on our path. Similarly, bad Karma works on the same principles. If we have done something we feel bad about, or have indulged behaviors that are condemned by our system of beliefs, then we feel we must be punished, rather than rewarded. We put a lock on the door of blessings, and open that of misery instead.

Traditionally, karma is believed to be something we carry along through lifetimes until we have experienced what we have caused in the past. One wise man whose name now I can’t recall, once said that if you wish to discover who you were in your past life, or who you will be in the next one, you should look at the life you are currently living. Looking at the big picture, it’s not hard to see how that process would work – our body dies, but our soul remains and continues to record experiences through different incarnations until we “get” all the lessons we are supposed to assimilate. Interestingly, in the field of child psychology, children are observed during play sessions, while they “act out’ their blocks. The human mind needs to rehearse events it doesn’t have a clear picture of, and repeats their pattern until the cycle is broken by an outside catalyst. When our inner blocks trigger an emotional charge to external events, we subconsciously set out to “replay” the original block.

Our subconscious mind – connected to the mind of all creation – has two roles; the first is to store information catalogued according to the emotional charge attached to it; the second is to pick up “thoughts” and requests filtered through the rational mind, and manifest them into our daily reality. Learning how to accept involves learning how to get rid of buried guilt and feelings of low self-worth. Each of us deserves to be happy, regardless of what we might feel bad about – consciously or subconsciously.

So, rather than “you shouldn’t have”, our response to someone offering a gift should simply be “Thank you”. After all, if that person, or Universe itself, decides to bless you with something, you are, obviously, worthy of it.

In the Christian belief, Jesus told sick people they were forgiven for their sins, before he told them they could get up and walk, or go back home and find their child healed. Once they felt their sins, and the guilt associated with them, were lifted, they were ready to accept the blessings.

A psychologist in Hawaii, convinced that perception affects our personal reality, decided to try a test. He became acquainted with a group of violent inmates, and every day he took ten to fifteen minutes to sit still and repeat a simple mantra: “I love and I forgive”. When he repeated those simple words, over and over, he did not choose to direct those words to a specific person, but only to attract a positive emotional charge within himself. In less than a month, as his perception of them had shifted, the behavior of the inmates had greatly improved.

Ultimately, we can change our reality. All we need to do is believe it, forgive ourselves for what we can’t change, and know that we are good enough to receive the blessings already on their way.

The Value of Hardship

“It is not good for all our wishes to be filled; through sickness we recognize the value of health; through evil, the value of good; through hunger, the value of food; through exertion, the value of rest.” ~ Greek Proverb


As I sat down to dinner, last night, my mouth watered the moment I laid eyes on the small feast set in front of me – spicy pork tenderloin with vegetables and a side of roasted potatoes, followed by a generous bowl of strawberries and freshly whipped cream. Having been extremely busy most of the day, food had been the last priority on my list, and by the time I finally sat down I was famished.

The moment I took the first bite, I almost shivered from the incredible sense of pleasure that cursed through my body. I ate the first few forkfuls with ravenous enthusiasm, deeply appreciating the full, bodacious flavors coming together in a perfect culinary marriage.

By the time I consumed the main course, most of the appreciation was gone with the hunger; when I finally finished my bowl of strawberries and cream, I was so full I couldn’t even entertain the thought of another bite. The feeling of hunger I had experienced prior to dinner was uncomfortable and making me feel edgy, yet it was the powerful force which triggered the heightened pleasure I felt when I got the opportunity to taste my meal.

Discomfort and lack, although undesirable, allow us the chance to appreciate comfort and abundance. I remember thinking about this concept a year ago, when I suffered from a pinched nerve in my neck. I could not turn my head, and every movement caused excruciating pain. I would have given anything in that moment to feel better; yet, when I am normally free of pain, that sense of wellbeing is taken for granted.

As humans we take everything for granted – our ability to move, to communicate, of being free from pain, hunger and oppression; quite often, we take love and life for granted.

Life storms give us the opportunity to appreciate the sunny days. When the sun shines for too long we become bored with it and no longer appreciate its warmth, but after a week of constant rain, nothing feels better than a bright blue sky.

While I cleaned the kitchen after dinner, I suddenly felt elated and grateful, not just for my blessings, but also for my woes, for if I never experienced hardship I would also never experience the deep pleasure that comes when good things finally manifest.

A Perfect Moment

“Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn’t learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn’t learn a little, at least we didn’t get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn’t die; so, let us all be thankful.” ~Buddha


As humans, we easily take things for granted. Although few of us have concrete reasons to be unhappy, we nearly view complaining as a birthright. Regardless of how unfortunate we are at any given juncture in our lives, the hard times are usually temporary, and we are able to bounce back if so we choose.

Being thankful for the blessings in our lives is a skill we can learn to master. Each day we start a new page of our reality – we can choose to rewrite the lines of yesterday, or begin a new chapter. If the pages already written could use some editing, it is never too late to work on them. There is always room for improvement, yet there are things in our lives that are perfect the way they are, if we stop a moment and acknowledge their existence.

One of my mother’s friends once told me that every morning he thinks about the people and things he would not want to live without, then says a small prayer of gratitude.

Generally speaking, very few of us – if any at all – are completely aware, and consciously thankful, of how much we have going for ourselves, as we rarely pause long enough to acknowledge everything in our world. Let’s consider health, for example – we don’t realize how blessed we are until we begin to have problems. All the days we spend pain-free and absorbed in something else, we probably never give a second thought to the fact that we are healthy.

The same goes for about everything else in our lives. We might run short of money and eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for a month. Yet, we have eaten and we are full – our immediate need is taken care of.

We might just be recovering from a broken relationship, during the course of which someone betrayed us. Maybe they did us a favor by timely showing us their true colors, thus giving us the chance to meet somebody else who can really love us the way we deserve.

Realistically, we will never be totally happy until we decide we are going to be. No matter how wealthy, loved, or successful we are, we are going to want more. We can look at things in two ways – we can notice the beauty of our surroundings and enjoy being where we are, or we can be on a constant road trip that will likely lead us nowhere.

In this particular instant, ask yourself what is missing for you to be happy. Not yesterday, not tomorrow, nor the day after. Consider this one moment and determine what is missing and what is available to you in this second. What’s already there is very likely more plentiful than what is not.

The Wake-Up List

“Some people are always grumbling because roses have thorns; I am thankful that thorns have roses.” ~Alphonse Karr

Many of us begin the New Year by making resolutions. By February, the majorities of those goals – even the modest ones we thought we could keep up with – slip slowly away, and the patterns of old habits sneak back into their familiar place in our lives.

Very often the problem lies in the fact that we set goals for ourselves that are too hard to maintain. With little concrete support and a myriad of daily demands, the lure of a fresh new starts wears quickly out.

True life makeovers are not impossible, but a few steps need to be respected. Victoria Moran, author of “Living a Charmed Life: Your Guide to Finding Magic in Every Moment and Meaning in Every Day” suggests that we should list ten things for which we are grateful before we get out of bed each morning.

The items on the list don’t have to be big things – I’m grateful for my cat sleeping on my chest; I’m grateful for having dinner left over so I won’t have to cook again tonight; I’m grateful that my coffee is brewing downstairs. The list can indeed be endless and as creative as one wants to make it.

Very often, in fact, we demand a radical change when many things in our lives work well as they are. Acknowledging, and being thankful for, what already is good in our lives allows us to start our day with a feeling that there are positive things in our world we can build from.

It is also important to take quiet time in the mornings to devote a few minutes to meditation and prayer. One doesn’t have to be religious to meditate and enjoy a few minutes of silence. By doing so, the mind will have the opportunity to ease into the new day rather than being tossed mercilessly into instant chaos.

I personally discovered, several years ago, that if I had any intention of beginning my day on a positive note, I had to make time to honor myself and my thoughts. That said, some mornings I could dedicate a few extra moments to it than other days, but ultimately, I could always find five minutes. We often look for excuses that will allow us to slack off, but if we truly are determined to make changes in our lives, we will find the extra time.

These are small steps, but are indeed important ones to take if we ever hope to improve our realities and create a healthier living approach. Even the fastest runners had to learn in the beginning how to place one foot in front of the other.

The Power of Choice

“Happiness is not a matter of events, it depends upon the tides of the mind.” ~ Alice Meynell

When I was a little girl, my grandmother used to take me to ride my bike at a park near my house. One day, I fell and scraped both knees. After helping me get up, and brushing off the dirt of my bloody legs, my grandmother smiled and said: “Well, aren’t you the lucky one?” I looked at her in disbelief…here I was, one scratch away from needing stitches, and the woman was telling me I was lucky! Could she be mentally ill? Even at that young age, I remember wondering if she was going mad.

Noticing my confused frown, she explained: “Look at it this way, young lady, you could have fallen and busted your head instead. I think you were pretty lucky.” Although I still had a few doubts about her sanity, those words appealed to my young mind. She was right after all – no matter how desperate the situation seemed at the moment, it could have been worse.

From that day on, my glass was most always half full. Yes, bad stuff continued to happen on occasion, but was it the absolute worst it could be? That newfound attitude saved me a lot of heartache while going through the teen years, and it truly helped me see that events are only as bad as we paint them in our minds.

To this day, every morning, I pray for one thing: to keep my inner balance alive, and see every obstacle as an opportunity. It doesn’t matter what kind of day I’ve had – at the end of it, I always feel it was a day worth living. True power is not in dominating events unfolding around us, but rather is the ability of not allowing those events to affect our core of emotions.

One of the best tricks to balance the scale is to focus our attention on a happy memory. For me, as an example, thinking of the when my younger son caught a big fish on his first fishing trip really does wonders. He was so happy! That image will forever be forged in my mind. If I think of that, and really try to concentrate on the intensity of the feeling and the brightness of his smile, I can immediately feel tension melt away. Once I have a grip on my emotions again, I continue to focus on positive thoughts, and my day magically shifts.

Hanging on to resentment or negative thoughts feeds our illusion of needing to remain angry in order to punctuate the magnitude of the event, but it is really not necessary. Dangling on the brink of a precipice has never helped anyone find solutions.

We feel inclined to change the décor of our environment if the style no longer suits us, or makes us feel uncomfortable. We remove an object and replace it with one we like more – why not do the same with our thoughts?