Spicing Up The Holidays

Have you ever wondered why so many holiday dishes and beverages are flavored with spices such as cinnamon, nutmeg, vanilla and ginger?

Holiday gatherings are meant to spread cheer, and are an occasion to enjoy the fruits of our hard labor. After the feast, everyone is expected to go back to their regular lives, and resume their daily tasks. Before we start something new, it is customary to engage in rituals or prayers that will bring good fortune in the days ahead, and we often eat or drink specific foods and beverages that hold a certain symbolism; on new year’s eve, for example, we eat greens for prosperity, and toast with bubbly champagne to augur happy, successful moments to come.

So, what about spices? Do we simply use them because they are flavorful, or are there other reasons connected to the origins of their widespread use? Aside from their antibacterial properties – which proved to be very useful during pre-refrigeration days – each spice is said to have a unique magical power. By adding the spices to food and beverages, it was believed that the food itself would become magical and, once consumed, would ensure good fortune to the person eating it.

Ginger is believed to bring on great wealth; cinnamon is believed to bring success, and “speed up” the time of manifestation of that which we desire, while nutmeg is famous for bringing good luck; a sprinkle of nutmeg on potatoes – which are often used to represent humans - or over green candles coated with honey, is said to open the doors to prosperity. Vanilla is instead used to attract love.

A great part of this folk knowledge is lost through time, but some of the traditions it is incorporated in survive, and are dutifully observed by many. Discovering the hidden properties of different herbs and spices can be quite fascinating and entertaining, and it can certainly open the mind to some of the amazing wisdom we have mostly allowed to dissipate.

And maybe, the next time we hurriedly bite into a cinnamon roll, we’ll take a moment from our busy schedule to make a wish from the heart.

A Project for the Holidays

Do you remember the snow monster in Christmas movies – the one that Santa was able to change from bad to good with a gift? I watched that movie last night with my children, and it made me think of how easy it is to reach out to others.

Among the people we know, there is always at least one snow monster. I, for one, have met a few; they put on a very strong front to intimidate others because they have been previously hurt, and feel the need to wear a spiked armor for protection. Deep down, they are sensitive and caring, vulnerable and afraid, but on the surface they come through as an ice storm, ready to attack the opponent with icy daggers.

In the movie, when Santa gives him the gift, the snow monster is surprised, and is unsure of what he should do. All he’s ever received, up to this point, are fear and anger – the only possible responses to his threatening, cold and heartless behavior. Suddenly, despite his tough appearance, someone is offering him a gift. The monster is at a loss; his chest deflates, his eyes open wider, and he humbly asks Santa what he should do from then on, since he has never learned to be good. His rough, scary appearance is gone, and is replaced by a gentle demeanor.

So, should we follow Santa’s example and give gifts to mean people? Maybe we should. They can be material gifts - if one feels so inclined - but what will truly “thaw” the snow monsters are things money can’t buy: a hug, a kind word, a bit of human warmth. They expect swords and arrows; an offer of unconditional love will slice through the rough peel and reach the soft core.

The response is quite amazing. At first, they might even get uglier, as the sweet words will burn a hole in the icy crust, and the “monsters” will feel suddenly vulnerable. They might remain speechless, as they have never prepared answers for a positive exchange, but at that point, the magic has begun; that one single, tiny seed of love will burrow in their hearts and grow, and may be the catalyst for incredible changes ahead.

We can make this a project for the holidays – that of thawing as many snow monsters as we can, and give them the chance to experience a Christmas miracle, maybe for the first time in their lives. As my grandmother once said: “The mightier and uglier they appear, the more they need to be loved. If you give out gifts, would you not want to hand them out to the real needy? Love is no different.”

Holiday Blues

When we think of holidays, the first thing that comes to mind is the time we will spend with our loved ones, but what happens when our loved ones are no longer there to share the cheer? As happy and cheerful as the holiday season is for some, it is probably the hardest time of year for those who have lost someone they love.

Several years ago – when I first moved to the US, far away from most I hold dear – a friend gave me a small book entitled “There’s No Such Place As Far Away” by Richard Bach. I didn’t touch it for a while; then, one morning, as I was sitting alone in my empty apartment, feeling alone and disconnected from everyone, I picked the little book up and began to read. It was the story of a little boy who had moved really far away from his best friend. On the day of his friend’s birthday he wanted to celebrate with him, and the pain he felt in his heart, being so far away, was overwhelming and unbearable. He asked several birds if they could help him get to his friend’s house, and all of them told him they were too small to carry him or they had other things to do. Finally, a wise bird told the little boy: “If you truly love your friend, aren’t you already there with him? The only thing that separates you from him is space, and space is never larger than love.” The little boy thought about it for a while, then realized the bird was right. His friend loved him, and knew he was loved back; most of all, his friend would not want him to be sad on such a special day; the best thing the little boy could do would be to look in his heart and find the joy his friend’s birthday brought to him, whether they could spend it together or not. So the little boy went on about his day, wishing his friend a happy birthday and knowing that, even if they were apart, their memories joined them forever.

True love and friendship cannot be cut short by boundaries of time, space or form. When we truly love someone, we can still be with them through the power of the memories built together and know they will never leave us, as the sound of their voice will forever echo through the walls of our hearts.

Our loved ones would not want to see us unhappy; although they crossed over and shed their outer shell, their true essence is still with us, and the love they felt for us is still alive. Rather than feeling guilty or empty at the thought of celebrating a special day without them, we should make it a point to celebrate it in their honor. A Christmas song, or a Thanksgiving meal, should not be daggers in the heart, but chances to reminisce the happy moments we spent with our loved ones while they were still with us; a beautiful array of decorations should not feel like an insult to our grief, but remind us of the times we decked the halls together.

By letting go of the pain we are not letting go of the love for the person who’s no longer with us. The grief we feel is an invisible chain we hang on to in the hope of remaining connected somehow, a silver cord which prevents us from separating completely. Although we may feel as if we are shamefully betraying our loved ones by daring to be happy without them, we are instead honoring their memory by infusing life into a moment they would love to share with us, and we can respectfully thank them for the beautiful memories they have gifted us with.